Day Twenty-nine

It's the end of the road for me on the 30 Day Method. The second time around was ever so slightly anti-climactic. If you've been reading, you know I haven't followed the diet to the letter and I likely skipped more cardio workouts that I completed, but I really did watch what was going on with 'me' while going through the process.

I learned a great deal about myself (I guess that's why it's called a process because you process), what my limits are and what's beyond them and I came up with a few new rules for the road, the shamandments. However, tomorrow will be the moment of truth, time to face the music. While I am happy to report that I wore my 'skinny jeans' all weekend, they don't quite fit as well as they did at the end of the first time that I finished the 30 Day Method back in October. The thing is, they are sort of loose in the butt and thighs but there's still that dreaded muffin top. It might not be a giant muffin from Costco, it might be more like one of those mini-muffins, but I'd like that to be gone.

I've had ups and downs, love days and hate days, days when Tracy was my hero and I was singing her praises to the heavens and days when I really cursed her name. But through it all, I ate better and worked out more than I would have, had I not been on the program so overall I can consider it a success.


If you've been following, you may notice that my blog has a new look. March 1st marks the very first day of facing my crazy stupid scary. It's going to be the first day that I tackle the Metamorphosis Abcentric program. It just feels like a new beginning, like spring time - so I wanted a more spring-like look.


I will be weighing in and taking measurements - oooooooh, crazy stupid scary! And I am going to officially commit. Commit to not only making a bigger and better effort with the diet (because as I have learned throughout both boot camps and with every other fitness program I've tackled in the past, DIET is really freakin' important to your results.) I am also going to commit to doing the stinking cardio. EEEGADS - That is crazy - stupid - scary!


I will do it. It bears repeating - DIET IS REALLY FREAKING IMPORTANT TO YOUR RESULTS - AND I AM GOING TO DO THE CARDIO. I must if I want to lose the - jelly-belly.

It's going to be a huge undertaking because I love love love to eat, sweets especially and I hate to break a sweat. There's a reason that most of my adult life was dedicated to yoga. It's chilled. But it's going to be my 40th in a few months and I'd like to enter that new decade as a new woman.


I sincerely appreciate your support and it means a great deal to me to know that there are those of you out there like me going through it with me. The struggles, the moments of real pride and joy, the compassion and the understanding. We girls rock.

I am off to make my chocolate pudding for the start of this week's Nutrient Boost. Those of you who've just gone through the Performance Cleanse, drop me a line and lemme know how you made out.

Here's to transformation, to beauty, to passion, and to the joy that comes with courage and achievement. Remember that the only way into spring is through winter!


Warmly,
Shan

Day twenty-six

When preparing for a role in a film, television show or on the stage, actors will often ask what their character's motivation is. As a writer, it's my job to develop a backstory or history for each character I create that will hopefully inform what's on the page. So then the actor will know why their character is taking a particular action. They want to understand why they do what they do.

So it should come as no surprise that I often bring up motivation when I write about my experiences working with the Tracy Anderson Method. Why do we do it? Why do we workout or watch what we eat?

I woke up this morning with a hunger in my belly so fierce that it struck panic into my heart. You should know that chocolate chip cookies are my absolute favorite thing in the whole world ever! I love them and have no control when it comes to them. They are not something I can make or keep in the house if I am watching what I am eating, therefore it should be obvious that there haven't been any around here for the entire month of February. Just trying to set myself up for success, right? And I need all the bloody help I can get.

So  - like the shamandments say, gotta do my workout first thing - I rolled out of bed, got warmed up and got to work, but I couldn't stop thinking about how hungry I was. And I started to get irritated, aggravated, mad even, and I didn't want to work out. It seems that I was staring down the barrel of another three months without cookies. Three months - ninety days - it doesn't sound all that long in theory - but we're talking about the months of March, April and May - does that mean I won't be able to have a cookie until JUNE? Are you kidding me?

I freaked. My knee jerk reaction was that I don't want to do the Metamorphosis program, I don't want to haul my sorry ass out of bed everyday until June to work out, only to know that I won't even be able to stop then, because after all, this is a lifestyle change right? That's why I wanted this, isn't it? To change all my bad habits? More panic. I miss my cookies as sad and pathetic as that is for a 39 year old woman to say - what is life without cookies? I wanted to quit. I made it through the leg segment and wanted to say "screw this!" Have you guys tried to do that push-up thing with the chair? or how about the down-ward dog leg split thing? OMG. I'm so tired. (and totally bi-polar it would seem if you've read yesterday's post)

I forced myself (in as nice a way as possible) to finish my workout, but there was no way - I mean NO WAY I was bloody doing cardio I don't care what anyone says about it - (Also I should let you know that I am severely PMS'ing here so bear with me I have a point) - I stretched and cooled down and made myself a blueberry smoothie and took a deep breath.

If I am going to do this, I mean really do this, I have got to have a touch stone, something I can come back to to gently remind me that I want this for myself that I am doing it because I want to be better to myself, not to torture myself. So I am reaching out to all of you to ask you...

What's your motivation? Why are you doing it? Or thinking of doing it? Of have done it in the past?

I know why I started out in the first place. It was because I was approaching the big four oh - 40 and everything was falling out of place, I wasn't happy with where I was at physically, I had to buy fat pants for crying out loud and nothing I tried had worked, nothing until the Method. So then I was just motivated to get through the 30 days, to get into my skinny jeans. Done and done.

It is the lifestyle change that I'm after. But I want to feel good in my skin. I want to look like Kate (Evangeline Lily).

I feel fairly certain that she didn't come to look this way by eating chocolate chip cookies all day long. She worked bloody hard, right?

And when I see her and others like her, I do get inspired. It motivates me to at least put in the time and make some kind of effort and a sustained effort is going to yield change, it's going to get results. 

Look at her arms! Her abs. She's no stick thin waif with hip bones that look like they'd cut glass. This is an averaged height woman who is in fantastic shape. That can be us, ladies. That is us. We can have that. But it doesn't come for free. Most if us are not born that way.

I am still a bit panicked about getting locked into another 90 days of this, but that's just because I have commitment issues, I have trouble committing to a nail color for more than one day for crying out loud! And I love me some cookies! I do.

But I want to be healthy and I want to look like Kate! So help me out here, what are your reasons? Why are you doing it? 

I did say that I was going to avoid the pretox this weekend, but it is Oscar night on Sunday! There's probably going to be at least one glass of champagne in my immediate future. And from my limited stand point, is a life without champagne and cookies really a life? There must be a modicum of moderation in there somewhere, a small bit of wiggle room, so that if we're really good the majority of the time, one cookie won't split the seems of of jeans. And that's what's got me hanging on.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.
Shan

Twenty-five... Prelap to Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis

Hey guys!
It's day twenty five of the 30 Day Method boot camp. Tomorrow marks the first day of the Performance Cleanse. But I'm not doing it.....

Wait, I'm not not doing it because I don't want to, I'm not doing it because the Metamorphosis program which is up next begins with a week-long Nutrient Boost and can you guess what that nutrient boost is? Yep, you got it, it's the performance cleanse. Imagine twelve straight days of that? Gulp. I don't know about any of you but I do not want to become a ...

So here's the plan. I will wrap up the 30 Day Kick Start with the menu from the first 25 days and then on March 1st, I will begin my Metamorphosis..... doesn't it sound magical? It no doubt will be and I want to tell you a bit about it.

The Metamorphosis program by Tracy Anderson is her latest workout and it's customized for your body type. Go to her website to identify your body shape and then you get a program that is designed for your specific needs. Here's the link...http://tracyandersonmethod.com/

And this is your peek behind the curtain on what you get. It's pretty cool. (Relax, this isn't a sales pitch, and I haven't done the program yet so it's not a review either) it's just a glimpse of what's to come.

A box with your name on it will arrive in the post and the return address is Fulfillment Circle, no kidding. It's as if the package has been mailed to you from your Fairy Godmother, the Granter of Wishes, or Fulfiller of Dreams, seriously.


You open the box to a lovely photo of Tracy your new personal trainer, and a brief message. I swear there should be tinkling chimes when the box is opened that would make it complete. Her message is this:
"You've just opened a whole new chapter in your life. You're about to discover that perfection is possible. Not just for models and movies stars. For you. Everything you need to transform your body is inside this box. Except, of course, your desire and determination. You bring that, I'll bring the know-how and together, we'll make it happen. And that's a promise, from me to you." and it's signed, Tracy.


How great is that? Now before any of you reading from Europe start to feel a bit left out because you've had some trouble ordering, Martie from Austria wrote to say that she's ordered hers online and that it was easy. There's a shipping fee, but there was to Canada too but she says it's cheaper than a one month gym membership, I agree. So if you want it, ladies, it's available to you.


The package comes with a personal letter and a bunch of other stuff that's listed on her website, no need to repeat it here. Now if her note on the inside of the box doesn't make you want to jump in with both feet, her video introduction will, she's incredibly positive and encouraging. While her book and other DVD's are great, this is different. It's personal. You really feel like you are now embarking on a journey with Tracy as your trainer, with you every step of the way. But you do have to work.


This Metamorphosis program is not going to be any easier than the 30 Day Method, so if you're looking for a quick fix or free ride, forget it. You are going to sweat and you are going to be spending time in the kitchen. And so we should be. What we do with our bodies and what we put into them is important. We spend loads of time doing things like checking our email or facebook pages, watching television or being sure our kids are well fed, why not spend that due time and attention on our own health? Don't we deserve at least that? I say hell yah we do!


The last time I did boot camp I was really dreading the cleanse at the end. I didn't want to eat pureed anything. I hated fruit and yucky sweet potato, I thought I was going to die. Until I did it. It was hard and it was work, but I wasn't hungry (insert gasp because it's shocking, right?) and I actually didn't mind it. In fact I am sort of looking forward to beginning the new program with a detox and this time I am going to work hard at avoiding the pretox in the days before (you know, where I pig out on total crap).


So here's what we're looking at. One week on the nutrient boost, one week on her menu plan and back and forth we go for pretty much the duration of the 90 days. I cannot say I will follow that for 90 days - see the above diagram for details. There are a few differences between the diet on boot camp and the diet on the Metamorphosis, but not a ton. For one, there are not the vegetarian options, but I am capable and creative, I can work around that. We are allowed to have sparkling water if we choose, as well as up to three glasses of wine per week. She also introduces things like bananas and for the first six weeks, on the weeks where you are not on a cleanse you have meal options. She gives you foods to choose from at each meal so there is flexibility, later on it gets a bit stricter, however, in those later weeks she adds a variety of foods.


As mentioned in an earlier post, the cardio DVD is fantastic. She really nailed it. We don't have to learn hours of routines, but we're not being asked to follow an erratic video that leaves you wondering what the hell just happened? It's 30 minutes and it's good. It's doable in a small space and it's actually kinda fun. (coming from me that's big ups) Still hate me some cardio, kids. What can I say.


I have yet to tuck into the transformational dvd's. I relish the surprise here. I can say that I hope they are more like her Mat DVD than like any of the others because that one was by far the best one in terms of being able to follow along and not get lost. In boot camp, you watch the DVD to get the gist, but then you have the book to guide you. Meta does not have a book or illustrations so I am counting on being able to follow along. Fingers crossed.


In addition to this, there is a workout schedule for you to mark off whether you did your structure work and your cardio, keep track of what day you're on, list your measurements at the beginning of each ten day segment and write in your weight each day. We must be careful here, we don't want to run into the guilt factor with this and turn into hateful meanies to ourselves, it's just to keep track, not to berate ourselves if we miss a day. See because this isn't ten consecutive days - miss a workout or not then move on, it's ten days per workout and it will take you longer than ten days because.... we have rest days. woo hoo. and they are on the schedule too.


I for one, will not be weighing myself each day because I have issues with the magic number on the scale and it triggers all sorts of nasty side effects for me. Knowing this, I can just avoid all that and go on my merry way.


So there you have it. There is lots of love, lots of support and lots of hard hard work involved in growing those baby butterfly wings.


I will be taking my measurements with my handy new Tracy Anderson tape measure to see if the Abcentric Metamorphosis workout really can whittle my middle. I'd also love to hear from all of you that have different body types and are going to be working on those areas so we can track our progress, support one another and on occasion commiserate, because you know I will moan about this whole process, right?


Sure it's all sunshine and lollipops now, but just wait until I'm waist deep in it and see what we have then!


Cheers
Shan

Day Twenty-four.

Day twenty-four already? Where has the time gone? I can't believe there is only a week left. I am glad actually because this go around with the 30-Day Method has been a tough one. I haven't been as micro-managey with everything this time, but I became a little bit obsessed with my failures midway through.

I suspected that the second go around would be harder and I was right. I'm not saying that to dishearten or discourage anyone out there who's undertaking this amazing challenge. I just have the personality type that can knuckle through something the first time on sheer guts and determination, but when it comes time to finesse things and do them with a bit more practice and grace, I trip up, panic, obsess and basically get in my own way. Self-sabotage is another way of putting it if I want to get straight to the point.

But with the bulk of the program behind me, I've learned a few more things. I've learned that the Tracy Anderson Method is kind of a miracle workout. It's as if the muscular structure, the cardio and the diet all really want you to succeed, even if you eat out one nite or miss a workout one day. Sure, it's demanding and it asks a lot of you, but it gives back in a big way.

I read somewhere once that if you are going to make a resolution to work out - let's say you want to work out three times a week - you should try committing to working out five days a week. This way your aim's a little higher so even if you fall short of the five days, you still get 3 workouts in. Perhaps that's what happens here. For thirty days, we're expected to hit the mat seven days a week, but if we miss a workout or even two - we're still working out five days a week and let's face it, for most of us that's a heck of a lot better than what we were doing on our own before we started all this, right?

In addition to being a miracle workout, the Method is also a little bit like a GPS. You know the gadget in your car that provides you with a map and directions to your destination. Not only does it show you the way, it talks you through it and you can even jump ahead and see a picture of where you'll be and when you're estimated to get there.

Like your GPS, if you go wrong and miss a turn - you eat brownies or pizza or fries - or you miss a workout (or in my case you skip your cardio) - the Method simply says "Recalculating" and finds a way to get you back on track the very next day with planned meals and a workout at the ready. It doesn't cuss you out or call you names. So the next time you slip up - very simply recalculate because here's what I've found...

Your body is going to respond positively anyway. I am literally a few ounces away from my goal weight and I can see some lovely definition starting to peak through in my arms, around my butt and even a teeny tiny bit around the midsection which is my trouble area - and I can tell you that I've been NO angel the past three weeks.

That said, as I contemplate next week's Metamorphosis, I do so with mixed emotions. Part of me is really excited to get going with the workouts and see if I can't shave a few inches off my waist, but there's part of me that knows it's going to be a ton of work and lots of mindfulness, care and attention.


I have a plan and it will affect the end of my 30 Day Boot camp somewhat, so I will share that in more detail tomorrow. It may be helpful to anyone else who will be transitioning from one to the other. At the very least it will provide a peek behind the curtain of what's to come!


Cheers,
Shan

Day Twenty-two

We are coming up on the home stretch for this boot camp and while it's hard, the workout's tough, the cardio kills and the diet is restricted, we simply cannot slow down when the finish line is in sight! 

My butt, hamstrings and knees - actually everything from the waist down hurts but it's a pleasure pain, the kind that tells you you've been working.

I've had a few comments from people wondering about the program or thinking about giving the Method in one of it's various incarnations a try so I wanted to post a video of Tracy and her trainers demonstrating some moves to help get us all in shape this year. If you're unfamiliar with her and her Method, this video is a great intro and I suggest that you watch it and then get on up and give it a try!!
http://www.stylecaster.com/lifestyle/10347/tracy-anderson-method-workouts-your-new-hot-bod-new-year-video 

Weather you're three weeks into boot camp like me, just starting, just finished or getting ready to start the Metamorphosis program, I want to wish you the strength to keep going and courage to trust that you are capable. Because you really are.

Warmly,
Shan

Day Twenty - Warning Spoiler Alert!!

Well, I've made it to day twenty, the last day of phase two of Tracy Anderson's Boot Camp, the 30 Day Method! Whew. And it's a love day not a hate day - Yeah!!! But it didn't start out that way...

I woke up late, plans for the day had immediately changed and my dog needed a walk, so I broke shamandment (personal commandment - see side bar) number five. I didn't get to my workout first thing. You see I was supposed to deliver a screenplay to my producer yesterday and I was still writing it. God I hope she isn't reading this. So, dog walked, coffee made, I sat down at my desk to power through the last of the rewrite. Then I gave it to my trusty beloved reader.

UGH! The feedback that came back to me was a less than glowing review - but I had no time to fix it or change it, it had to go as it was and I thought I'd done such a good job. Suddenly, the nasty-ass critic was back in my head, but this time is was riding me about being a lousy writer instead of all the usual self-image garbage. I started to spiral downward.

What to do? I'm on the Method so my usual go-to for comfort - FOOD, SUGAR, CARBS - out of the question. Then I had it, retail therapy. I had a plan. (It's still a hate day at this point you see). Now I am a starving artist so I can't indulge in things like shoes right now, but I love love love products. Doesn't really matter what. I like hair conditioners and shampoos and masks, moisturizers, nail polish - whatever, beauty products make me happy. If only temporarily. But the only way I could justify doing this was if I did my workout first to make up for breaking one of the shamandments. Damn rules.

So I got changed, cleared a space because there's been hardly time for housework with scripts to write, a job to go to, a relationship to maintain, a dog to walk, cat to feed, and the almighty method to stick to. Sheesh!! And I got to work. A few minutes in I was still a grump. So I put on my iTunes and suddenly, everything changed.

No, it wasn't some magical upbeat playlist that I'd created because lord knows I can spend hours doing that in the name of "but it will make my workout easier and I can't possibly get to my workout until I have the awesome playlist" - no - it was on iTunes radio. When I am in a shit mood this one station always cheers me up, whether I am reading a book with a warm cup of tea or in rewrite hell or in today's case trying to slog my way through my final workout of phase two - it cures me. It's the Whisperings Solo Piano station. You can find it under the classical umbrella in iTunes. I can hear what you're thinking - Not exactly rocking workout music there, Shan. But listen, it transformed me into a ballerina - I'm not kidding. Every move was slow and beautiful and filled with purpose. I was doing something good for me and my body.

That is an absolute FIRST and at my age, I'll take any first I can get. I didn't need that retail therapy after all. This was magnificent. I was literally transported from hate day to love day - from "just get through it" to "this is wonderful".

Now before you roll your eyes and say Bitch! I still had to get through the cardio, get to that in a second. For the first time in my life I get what all those personal trainers and exercise gurus are talking about when they say take that hour and do it just for you blah blah blah - I was always like yeah right? In whose universe is this fun for me? I'd rather do the dishes. Today I got it. It was good. But then it was time for cardio...

Remember me? Cardio hater? I am never gonna be the girl sporting the cute T-shirt that says I heart dance aerobics, okay? But I'm two-thirds of the way through so I hafta do something and since I'm not going to be taking a trip to the drug store for my self-soothing products, I have time to kill which is a relative new thing. Script's delivered remember, no matter how crap it is, the producer needed something. So... I look around and think - can't stand to do it by myself (yeah all those hours making playlists, kinda wasted) do not want to follow her cardio DVD and don't like the one that comes with the book. "Hey! I know! I'll just dive right into the new Metamorphosis Cardio DVD."

So here's the spoiler. If you've just ordered your Metamorphosis program and want to be surprised... STOP READING.



Still here? Okay.
Guys! Tracy finally got it right! I have all of her DVD's. Beginner cardio, intermediate and advanced. They are hard to learn. One of the reasons my sister gave up on the Method was because she couldn't get the dance moves down. There are still more than half that I have yet to learn. It takes time, lots of time. Ever heard of Franco - one of Tracy's fans who complained so much about the cardio routines being so tough that she made a u-Tube video just for him with a "simple" routine? Turns out it ain't so simple. Sorry Tracy.

So then she dumbs her routines down for those of us with two left feet and creates the video that comes with the book. It's bad. There are so many editing and continuity errors that it's a bit like trying to follow a Shakira video - good luck with that. I love Tracy (obviously) but sometimes I'd rather skip the cardio altogether.

Not. Any. More.

She's been listening to client feedback. This video? The perfect length. 30 Minutes. I timed it and she's right on, to the minute. She's smiling, I'd be smiling too if I were in that gorgeous dreamy Manhattan loft.....mmmmm. So awesome.
But even better than the location, there aren't any difficult routines to master, while at the same time there isn't any jerking or cutting jumps from one move to the next that leave you wondering how the hell did she get to there from here? Don't get me wrong, it's no cake walk either. It'll take time to get good at it, but she does most of the moves in sets of fours so you can keep up if you miss the first move of a sequence. And the music is decent.

But here's the best part. It's Tracy herself! You have the option to do the video with just the music, or the music and her voice. That's right! She talks you through it. Not in a - C'mon maggot, move your fat ass! - kinda way. She's so nice. She says things like "you can do it", "you're five minutes in", "you're halfway through, just stay with it", "almost there, give it everything you have" - I'm not kidding, it really is just like having the most awesome personal trainer in the world right there with you.

And that's not all. (don't worry there's no 800 number at the end of this post and I won't be asking for a credit card number, not trying to sell on this, I am just so thrilled and impressed I had to share) You don't need a massive amount of space to do this.

As mentioned earlier - starving artist - I live in tiny cottage with barely enough room to change my mind let alone dance. So that was always my biggest complaint with the dance cardio DVD's was that I don't have the room to do all those leaps and stuff. The routines on the Metamorphosis are mostly contained, so much so that you could almost (in a pinch) do it on your trampoline, so on those days where you really really don't wanna do cardio but would rather fool around like a little kid, you can get on your wee rebounder and jump 'till your heart's content. Don't know what TA would say about that, but I am definitely gonna be doing that from time to time as I embark on the ninety days of my Abcentric program, lemme tell ya.

And I mean how great is it that it's 30 minutes? Wow. I can handle that. 30 Minutes isn't too much to committ to even with a busy schedule and I was sweating at the end of it too, by the way, in case you were worried that you won't get your sweat on in a half hour. 

So now I'm really hoping that the muscular structure is as brilliant and if those are only a half hour too? Can you imagine? One hour and your work out is done and dusted. It might actually be really doable. Not that the 30 Day Method isn't but it isn't the sort of program that you can keep up permanently, unless you are obsessive compulsive and I am trying hard not to be, okay. Don't judge me!

So that's it. It's a love day. Who knows what's in store for tomorrow, but for now, I'm happy.

Cheers,
Shan

The Bagel Conundrum

Hello lovelies - 
This just in. (This is only going to make sense if you've read yesterday's post.)

If, like me, you don't have a microwave, apparently THIS is the proper way to "break in" to a frozen bagel.

Rather than trying to cut it horizontally (literally through the equator if it were the planet), first slice (saw) through it vertically (north to south). Once you have those two halves, you now have a flat edge on which to rest the bagel and cut it horizontally. Genius, right?

Or you could just buy pre-cut bagels. Although I don't suggest this when you are on the Tracy Anderson Method because these kinds of carbs are not really allowed. See side bar for shamandment #2 - Carbs trigger sugar cravings!!


It's day 19 today, only today and tomorrow to go, then we're on the final leg of this journey before moving on to the Metamorphosis. Weeeeeeee! A tiny waist for me!

Day Eighteen - Sha-Mandments

Here we are on day eighteen and I am pleased to say that I can finally walk again. My little accessory muscles (and all the big ones too) have adjusted somewhat to the new routine and there is peace. Ahh. At least for two more days until we change it up again. Yikes!! 

I'm also very excited to let you know that I will get into some detail about the Abcentric Metamorphosis program in a week's time. For those of you new to or unfamiliar with the Tracy Anderson Method, she has created a host of tools to help you get into the best shape of your life, books, DVD's online content and a new program that is specifically designed for your unique body type.

In any case, the program follows along similar lines as the 30-Day Method boot camp, so I will have to make a few tweaks to allow myself to transition smoothly from one program to the next. So..more on that next week, around day 25.

Today's post is inspired by one of my favorite authors, Gretchen Rubin author of The Happiness Project. If you've not read her book, it's now out in paperback and it's such a good laugh you should pick it up if you can.

One of the really cool things that Gretchen came up with when she did her 12 month Happiness project to try and cultivate more happiness in her life, was she came up with her Twelve Personal Commandments. These 12 rules are what help to keep her happy. The first of which (and in my opinion the very most important) is to "Be Gretchen". In other words to stop trying to be something or someone that she's not. For example, Gretchen loves children's fiction, so rather than read it only to her kids, she started a book club dedicated to reading kids' books. Ta da - Be Gretchen. You can check out her other commandments here - - http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/

I have been working with the Tracy Anderson Method for some time now, around nine months maybe? and this is my second go around with the 30 Day Program outlined in her book. As mentioned a few posts ago, I've had some trouble this time, struggled with the program and my own negative thoughts. No need to get into all that again, but it got me thinking about what I am learning about myself and my relationship to food and how I can use this to my advantage to create balance in my quest for good health.

So I have decided to follow in Gretchen's footsteps and come up with my own Personal Commandments  - or as I like to call them - the Shamandments. I don't know how many there will be but for now I have a few. I'll share them with you and keep track of them on my homepage (if I can figure out how to do that) adding to the list as I come up with them. 

The first and most important one for me is going to be the same as Gretchen's, no, it isn't to be Gretchen!! It's to Be Shannon. In order for this all to work, as I am learning the hard way, I have got to accept me for who I am and love that. This is a real toughy. If you start a fitness program because you feel that you want to get in shape, doesn't that mean that you feel that you are not in shape and therefor want to change something about yourself? Well yes, but what I am saying with the first shamandment is that while I may never wind up looking like a swimsuit model, it doesn't mean that I can't rock a swimsuit and love the way I look in one.

By the way, Gretchen was right, this is very cathartic, you should totally try it. You don't have to post your progress publicly (I only did this to keep my badass self accountable and not off sneaking ice cream on the side-lines) you can keep a journal. You actually do learn shit about yourself if you're honest about it.

So the second is this - Carbs induce sugar cravings. (for me) Wanna know how I came to this little gem of a conclusion? The first time I did the program I was super good (again, super good for me, probably not super good by TA strict standards) and what I found was that I was able to stay away from sugar much more easily than I had in past attempts. I think it was around day 12 (part 1) that I made this striking realization. But why? Tracy claims that once you follow her diet for at least a month, you'll stop craving all that fatty sugary crap - yeah right, right? But it's mostly true - if you don't then binge and spend a whole day eating cupcakes!!

By falling off the wagon and getting back on as punishment only to fall back off and beat the crap out of myself, I realized something. If I eat rice, pasta or bread at a meal, I automatically want a sweet treat afterward. If I stick to my vegetables and protein, the craving may pop up, but it's not as strong. Hmm, I had to test that theory out. 

Here comes another confession - I worked the late shift last night and came home hungry.  I could have just gone to bed, but needed a breather between work and simply waking up the next day - so I stayed up. And got hungrier. I looked in the freezer and there was a fresh bag of bagels. Oh yes, bagels. Resistance was futile. (it was in the name of science and the shamandments people - stop judging!!!) I toasted that puppy up and served it with butter and some nice crisp veggies - (I learned another thing from this exercise as well, so it wasn't in vain)

I wondered if I would crave sugar after I ate the bagel. The voice of reason in my head said yes you will, while the voice of temptation said who cares, eat the bagel and worry about chocolate later. Turns out that the voice of reason was right! Bugger! No worries, now we have shamandment #2, Carbs trigger sugar cravings.

The third on the list of stuff I learned is that you want to "Think It Through". Ever try to cut a frozen bagel? It's no picnic and you risk losing a finger in the process. You have to wrestle to hold the damned thing still, if you can manage that it's like trying to saw through cement - so then you shove the whole thing into one side of the toaster and wrench it in there so that you can try to defrost it - but then you have this soft squishy outside and rock solid inside that is jammed so tightly into the toaster you've got to stick a knife in there to jimmy it out and risk electrocution.... (I need to get me a microwave)


All of this took an excruciatingly long time and gave me pause to think - do I really want this bagel? Is the universe trying to help me out here by making it bloody IMPOSSIBLE to eat? In that time, Portia de Rossi's voice echoed through my head, "there are no bad foods, just bad eating practices". I had a choice to make. If I was going to eat that bagel, I was going to enjoy it, guilt-free, critic free - I was going to savor every bite (if I could get the f*%#ing thing out of the toaster) - or I was not going to eat it. Don't eat it and walk away. Finally, I had an option. It didn't have to be all or nothing. I wasn't a bad person if I ate the bagel, wasn't a loser, fat pig, weakling - none of that was allowed.

I ate the bagel. I enjoyed. I had a black bean brownie for dessert. At Midnight. (they were also in the freezer, baked for just such an emergency).

Oooh, hey - I just came up with shamandment number four - Probably best to avoid the freezer unless you know exactly what you are going in for - like frozen berries or edamame.

The other thing I have noticed as I've been paying attention to my mood and mindset during the program is that if I do the workout as soon as I wake up - I have a better day. No matter what. It doesn't seem to matter. I used to like to think that I could be kind or gentle with myself and say if you don't want to do it right away that's okay, you can do it later. But I have found with experience that if I choose to do it later, it often gets squeezed in with a lot of resentment attached (and who wants to resent the thing that's going to help them look good naked) or it doesn't get done at all. Either way, the day feels rushed and just not as good as if I do it first thing, whether I want to or not. Cuz when I do it first thing, even if I'm still sleepy and cranky, I get through it and it sets me up for the rest of the day.

Way hey - there we go - I got five personal commandments so far.

1) Be Shannon
2) Carbs trigger sugar cravings
3) Think it through 
4) Best to avoid the freezer unless you know exactly what you're going in there for
5) Work out first thing, your day will thank you for it

If you come up with some of your own, I'd love to hear what they are if you want to share. It might be nice to learn a lesson not the "hard way" for a change.

Cheers,
Shan

Day Sixteen - Let Them Eat Cake.

Now that I have cleared the slate with yesterday's deep dark confession, I feel so much better. I feel somehow absolved of my sins and a sort of balance or peace has come over me and I am ready to begin anew - with a renewed sense of purpose and reason.

I started all of this because I wanted to look good when I turn forty later this year. But with the gentle reminder that what I look like is not more important than who I am, I think I can lay the obsession and the guilt trip aside and just enjoy the ride. Because, let's face it, as much as your body aches after Tracy puts you through your paces - it's kind of a good ouch. You do start to crave the workout and in order to be able to pull it off with some grace and some steam left over, you have got to fuel yourself with healthy things. It's not rocket science.

The subject of this post is Let Them Eat Cake. Supposedly said by Marie-Antoinette when she was told that the French people did not have bread. Whether she said it or not or what was meant by it isn't the point here, the point is, I want us all to know that we can eat cake...

Just not on day sixteen!

But if we manage to follow the program through to completion, it is suggested by Tracy in her book that there will come a time when we own our weight loss and can spend a whole day eating cupcakes. Not a good idea for those like me who start on one cupcake and finish the whole pan, then look for more. I can admit that I am a sugar junkie - this is nothing new - I'm pretty much a crack-head for sweets. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

One of my favorite people in the whole world is Alicia Silverstone - she's a great actor, a wonderful voice for animals and author of the book The Kind Diet. If you've never read this book, I highly recommend it, it's a real eye-opener to what we put into our mouths everyday without a second thought to what those things may be doing to our bodies and the environment. If you have a chance, do check out her website - http://www.thekindlife.com/ 

It's fun and informative, but even more than that, it's got some really terrific recipes for all different tastes and from many different sources, one of which I'd like to share with you here today so that when the 30 days are up and you are easing back into a less restricted way of eating, you can have cake - or in this case - brownies...Mmmm... guilt free.

This is from Lindsay Nixon's new cookbook The Happy Herbivore and I found it on Alicia's website.

Black Bean Brownies (they taste way better than they sound I promise)

Dense, fudgey and ultra-healthy, these brownies are a great alternative to traditional brownies! It's amazing how they taste like chocolate and fudge and not beans!

    * Prep time: 5 minutes

    * Cook time: 30 minutes

    * Total time: 35 minutes

    * Servings: 9 (that means we're supposed to share, ladies!)

Ingredients

    * 15 ounce(s) of black beans, drained/rinsed

    * 2 bananas (the riper the banana the sweeter the taste)

    * 1/3 cup(s) of agave nectar (or I use maple syrup, whatever you have on hand is fine)

    * 1/4 cup(s) of unsweetened cocoa

    * 1 tbsp. of ground cinnamon

    * 1 tsp. of vanilla extract

    * 1/4 cup(s) of raw sugar

    * 1/4 cup(s) of oats

Steps

   1. If using rolled oats, pulse in food processor until more granulated like instant oats.

   2. Preheat oven to 350F. Grease an 8x8" pan and set aside.

   3. Combine all ingredients, except oats, in a food processor or blender and blend until smooth, scrapping sides as needed.

   4. Stir in the oats and pour batter into the pan.

   5. Bake approx 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

   6. Allow to cool before slicing. The brownies firm as they cool. 

For a cool, fudge treat, keep them in the fridge.

Enjoy!

Shan

 

Day Fifteen - I Heart My Body.

Happy Valentine's day lovelies. Are you all being kind to yourselves today?
There are a million thoughts swirling around my little head tonight as I sit down to share, each one jockeying for position on the page.  So I have decided that I want to share a bit of the struggle of the past two weeks.

It's day fifteen. Exactly halfway through the 30 Day Method, the kick-start boot camp that I am undertaking for the second time.

If you're on your own journey through, you know that five days ago, Tracy changed up the workout. The method rolls into a new workout routine every ten days so that your body never gets a chance to plateau. She mentions in the book, that again, you may feel a bit flu-like. Oh hell no, it's more like totally incapacitated from the waist down. My butt hurts in places that I didn't know I had muscles and I've been through this before - how is that even possible? So it's good. She's getting to those Cinderella muscles and I am doing the work. I think the only workout I have missed so far in the last two weeks has been yesterday and that was just honestly because I couldn't walk, couldn't sit, lie down, move or stay still without being in pain.


That is not why I came to the page today tho. I've come here today to be a little bit more honest. To face up to the fight that's been going on inside my head. To out the critic who seems to be getting just a little bit louder and a little bit meaner. I don't like that guy and he needs to lay off so I thought if maybe I shone the light on him and what he's been doing, it might make the second half of this trip a little more pleasant.


I've said this before and at the risk of being totally redundant, I will say it again. I am sort of a diet virgin. Never really had to watch what I ate, because even if I did put a few pounds on, a couple of miles of running, a couple of salads and I was good as new. (But that actually is kind of dieting, isn't it??) 

I've just finished Portia de Rossi's book, Unbearable Lightness and darned if it wasn't a bit of a trigger for me. You see, what I didn't realize or didn't want to admit was that for the past five or six years, since I've put on my "middle aged spread" for lack of a more flattering term, I've been trying to get it off.


"Watching what I ate" under the guise of a detox or cleanse or even a fast on occasion. In yogic traditions fasting once a week is encouraged to give the body's organs a rest from the hard work of constant digestion. But if you've followed this blog at all, you are well aware of my propensity for the pretox - that weekend before the cleanse or detox starts that I binge. Oh never anything as crazy as those "crazy" people, right? Or no... I have to ask myself if that's actually true. Sure I haven't stuck my finger down my throat to puke anything up and certainly haven't eaten so so much that I feel like I am gonna die - okay maybe that one time on Thanksgiving - he he he - but all kidding aside, there's a dangerous and ugly pattern there.


When I did the 30 Day Kick Start the last time, I fell off the wagon a time or two, but I started out doing it full boar. Ate exactly what was prescribed to the point that it made me sick - not enough food going in for what my body required to run itself. How those anorexic girls do it I have no idea. So I adjusted portion sizes a little bit and added a grain to a meal if I felt that I needed it, but stuck pretty closely and it was torture. But I made it and felt so incredibly proud of myself.


This time around, while I haven't missed a workout I've been much more loosey-goosey with the diet - to the point that I haven't been doing well on it at all. From eating all the wrong things one day to eating only half of what I should be eating the next - bad bad bad. Just not good.


But instead of recognizing this right away, I have allowed that voice in my head to get more judgey and critical. Calling me names and making me feel really horrible about myself. I came to the point today on Valentine's day when I had to stop and ask myself: "Shan, why exactly are you doing this?"


Um -- I didn't really have the answer straight off the bat. Thought about it some and came up with, well - I want to have a better, healthier relationship with food. Yeah, that's the truth I do want that. I don't want to have to do a detox or cleanse and wind up stuffing my pie hole with every bad thing that I will be "denying" myself while on said cleanse.


If I'm being honest and really looking at my behavior over the past 15 days, I have been behaving in a way that is anything but healthy.


I read something in Unbearable Lightness that I want to share with you. It's as follows: Being on a perpetual diet , I had practiced "disordered" eating. I restricted when I was hungry and in need of nutrition and binged when I was so grotesquely full I couldn't be comfortable in any position but lying down. Diets that tell people what to eat or when to eat are the practices in between. And dieting, I discovered, was another form of disordered eating, just as anorexia and bulimia similarly disrupt the natural order of eating. "Ordered" eating is the practice of eating when you are hungry and ceasing to eat when you are full. "Ordered" eating is about eating for enjoyment, for health and to sustain life. Ordered eating is not about restricting certain foods because they are "bad". Obsessing about what to eat and when is not normal, natural and orderly. Thinking about food to the point of obsession and ignoring your body's signals is a disorder...


She goes on to say...


I really hope that my self-exploration can help not only people who are suffering from anorexia and bulimia, but also the perpetual dieters. You don't have to be emaciated or vomiting to be suffering. All people who live their lives on a diet are suffering. (Ain't that the truth)


What we look like is not more important than who we are. Let me say that again.


What we look like is not more important than who we are!

She talks about the realization that her body would always have the exact same proportions no matter how much weight she lost. She would always have that bit of perceived fat around her waist - her thighs would always seem big.

If I wrote down my measurements here  - now - on this blog - some might think wow, why are you doing this? Because I have a thick waist. I am abcentric. Which is why I have purchased the Metamorphosis Abcentric program - but I don't want to go crazy over it all. I want to stop chasing perfection and just love who I am. I trust that Tracy's program is going to trim my waist and I will do my best to manage what I eat, but I have got to get off the crazy train.


I don't think that Tracy is encouraging us to be perpetual dieters. She is just trying to give us that kick start that will motivate us to keep up with the program. I just find it incredibly difficult to restrict myself and therefore keep falling off the so called wagon. 

I am going to follow - gently along with the rest program, making the substitutions that I see fit. I even intend to follow through with the Abcentric program. But I promise to honor the kind voice in my head, not the screaming four-year-old, not the nasty-ass critic, but the me that really does want to manage my health and feel good.


So with that said, I want to take a moment to thank my body for working so hard even when I  have fed it too much or too little - it keeps going. I want to show it my gratitude by nourishing it, not with junk food, but with healthy whole food choices, to exercise it so that it lasts for as long as I inhabit it. Maybe that sounds hokey to many of you out there, but I had to get honest and say that I was slipping up, not just on the diet, but with myself. I wasn't taking care of myself. So this Valentine's day - let me say to myself and to my body - I heart you. You can say it to yourself too - because if we are not following this program out of love, it can become a nasty path to travel.


Warmly,
Shan




 

Day Twelve, Phase Two of Tracy's 30-Day Method

It's a much better day today than when I last wrote. Whew. Yesterday was the start of phase two, new workouts, a third of the way through and none of that really mattered to me, all I wanted was off. Off. Off. Off this boot camp. My inner four-year-old came out and let me tell you something, she is a force to be reckoned with. Yikes. I'll spare you all the gory details, but suffice it to say, I took a small day off. It helped.

Some of us may be more rebellious by nature than others, but at this age, when you commit to getting fit and cleaning up your act (I'm not twenty anymore, haven't been for oooooh - quite some time), you'd think that as a grown woman, you can handle it. You can reason with yourself and say, it's only 30 days. Those 30 days are going to pass no matter what you do with them, why not be a little svelter by the end?

The hunger builds up, the body aches and you rebel. But I have to ask, "Who am I rebelling against?" Well...if ya read day ten you know it was Tracy, but seriously. The only person you hurt when you go off the rails is yourself. It's your heart, your waistline, your skinny jeans, the people in your life that love you, love you. Not for your dress size, or at least I hope not, they love you for who you are.

I think that's part of the point of the connection exercise. As you stand in front of the mirror, or in my case lie on the yoga mat and repeat your name, you kinda get a better sense of who you are and it isn't your name. You - the energy that animates and is the driving force behind the body you inhabit is who I'm talking about. Her - I think maybe she didn't want to crack the whip, measure the ounces of food to be ingested, ignore the delight of chocolate as it melts on her tongue, do five more reps - she didn't even want to get out of bed. Okay, so maybe it wasn't actually my higher self, it was the little me, the voice in my head that takes over and acts like a silly little girl - either way - yesterday there was no sense in fighting. 

Today is a new day - going back to those two old psychologists, one of whom suggested that we reframe - remember them? I have reframed the situation. Yes, I blew yesterday off, but I still had ten decent days under my belt and another 18 or 19 to go, so what's the problem? What to we achieve in beating ourselves up? I don't want to feel guilty, it's a wasted emotion that only pretends to be necessary. I want to pick myself up and get on with it, after all, I am a grown woman (mostly).

Got out of bed this morning, popped in the DVD from the book, followed along to get the gist of the moves and promptly had my butt whooped. Didn't stop there though. Since I had a sweat going on anyway - I kept right on going and did the darned cardio right then and there! And it was actually a little bit fun (for about five minutes). I don't hate working out really, once I do it, I am always glad I did. It's kinda like going to that party that you have to drag yourself to. Once there, you generally run into somebody you know and like and have a pretty good time. Same thing here this morning.

Strike while the iron is hot, right? So I got to work in the kitchen. No adjusting today's menu - I saw that I was going to have a few things today that would require the food processor and some steaming so I prepped it all at once. Now, my food is ready for me when I am hungry for my next meal.

I have no illusions that everyday will be like today, but after the last two days, I am delighted to have the pendulum sway in the opposite direction. If eating consciously and working out more days than not are going to be a way of life, I have got to learn to honor the voice inside. Sometimes my four-year-old will take over, other times my inner-grown-up has a say, and until I reach enlightenment, I will try make an effort to be present and do the work as best I can.

Do your best and forget the rest. That's all I have to say about that.
Cheers,
Shan

Phase One - TA Boot Camp Done!

If you're a new reader, you may not be familiar with a love day or a hate day, but it's not complicated, if you're having a good day and things are going well it's a love day, if you're not then it's a hate day.

Today, Day Ten of Tracy Anderson's 30-Day Method, NOT a love day. Gawd, I don't know what it is, but nothing on the menu was satisfactory - I mean boiled egg? Come on, man! And I had to seriously grit my teeth (I am talking literally here people) to get through the muscular structure and the only saving grace was that I was cussing Tracy out and promising myself that I would never have to do these god-forsaken moves ever ever again. I neglected, of course, to remind myself that tomorrow starts a fresh new hell. But never mind that.

Can you even believe that I volunteered for this, not once but friggin' twice?

This is transformation, change is hard. I got through it. I didn't blow it off. I didn't walk away even though nothing helped. Not connecting to my body, not using my breath, NOT. A. THING. I just had to silently endure. (or not so silently, there was, as I said, a lot of cussing and grunting going on) The only way into summer is through winter and all of that, blah blah - positive - optimistic - blah blah. Hate day. I tell you. 

I tried to assuage myself by saying that this is all part of the Metamorphosis, which by the way will be coming up as soon as I drag my sad sorry ass through this kick-start, but I sure don't feel like no butterfly. Caterpillar soup maybe, swamp thing more like.

Anyway, I didn't promise that this was going to be a pretty journey or a nice easy ride. Far from it. Sometimes, the road just seems to be all uphill and you can lose sight of why you want to even climb it, but you just hafta put one foot in front of the other. So that's what I did today.


Okay, I'm done. Pity party over. Rant finished. Diatribe extinguished. Tirade ended. Seriously, I'll stop now. Sorry.


I can't wait to tell you guys all about the Metamorphosis package. I got it in the mail yesterday. It's awesome, even the packaging is fantastic. For the most part though, it's more of the same of what we are currently experiencing here in boot camp. It's going to be a serious ass-kicking.... except that you can drink wine up to three times a week - Eeeeeeeeee!! Quite honestly though today is not the day for that. (pesky non-love days)


Big hugs to all of you who are still reading and keeping me company. I am eternally grateful to you for hearing my thoughts and sharing your own experiences. You're the best.
Shan.

Day Nine. Some tips.

Are we obsessed? We as women I mean. Are we obsessed with how we look? Even if we just sit on the sofa all day eating cheese doodles, don't most of us still care how we look in our jeans? Or maybe we don't. Perhaps I just don't get out enough, but I know that all of my life, for as long as I can remember, my appearance has been commented on. One of my earliest memories is of a stranger in a shopping cash line-up telling my mother what big eyes I had.

If you're thin, people feel well within their rights to tell you "you're too thin". If you're overweight, you feel their eyes on you and can hear the hushed whispers behind your back, "she really should try to drop a few pounds." We're constantly appraising ourselves. We did good today, screwed up today, look good today, look like a sack of crap in this dress, butt's too saggy, shoulders too narrow, belly too big, breasts too small, and on and on and on.

So we try this fad or that one, stepping on the scale hoping for it to tip in our favor and be ever closer to the perfect number, that number that seems to endlessly evade us. Oh sure we hear about how other people have lost the weight and how great they look and feel, but how do we look? How do we feel? Honestly I can say I have been all over the map on that one. But I gotta ask, "Why does our appearance matter so damned much?" We are bombarded daily with images of perfection in the media. We all know that they're airbrushed, yet we strive to work out for five minutes more to get there, or just give up thinking it's an impossibility.


Tracy Anderson knows how we feel. At least I think she does. In every interview I've seen or article I've read, she says she's been there. She was a nineteen-year-old dancer in New York City - best of the best, top of the top, petite little blonde beauty and even she had body issues. Crazy right? But she came up with some tools, many of which are conveniently packaged between the pages of the book - The 30-Day Method - of which I am currently on day 9 for the second go-around and there have been things I've learned on this Method journey, not just from the book, but from the videos and from my own practice of it that I'd like to share. Nothing new, mostly simple stuff you have probably already discovered but might like a gentle reminder of. So here they are.


Something that Tracy asks you to do in the book, which I completely ignored the last go around, is to connect to yourself. She provides a connection exercise in which you look at your reflection in the mirror and say your name. Say it like you're happy, like you're sad, like a bird just pooped on your shoulder... for me, that's a weird one. Not the bird poop thing, the saying my name to myself. It feels alien. But jumping into this a second time meant admitting to myself that even though I'd been successful the last time around, I didn't manage to stick with it and had therefore managed to fail, ergo...face yourself this time Shan...and I did. I still hate it.


So in grand Shan style, I've adapted said exercise to make it work for me. As mentioned many times before, I am a yogi. Love yoga but my practice has been diminished by a bad neck, but there are certain things I can still do. For example I am very good at lying in corpse pose. I used to begin each day's practice in Shavasana (corpse pose) prior to starting with the asanas. Because my goal is to generate a lifestyle change, I have chosen to start each day's muscular structure workout lying on my back on the yoga mat, connecting to my breath and you guessed it...repeating my name out loud, like I'm happy, like I'm sad, like a bird just pooped on me. Maybe I look like a crazeee, but I feel a sense of connection. Like I am doing the work for me. So, if like me, you feel like a wingnut talking to yourself in the mirror, try to connect to yourself in a way that makes sense for you.


As for the muscular structure movements, I have a few ideas for getting the most out of the time you put in, because let's face it, who wants to do the work and not reap the rewards? 


Rather than just going through the movements, connect each move with your breath. As you extend away from your body, say in an attitude leg lift - inhale - and as you return to your starting position - exhale. This forces you to slow down the movement and do it with attention. Again, it's a little trick from yoga. S-l-o-w down.


Next - Move each body part as if you are passing through water. Your own body weight works like the resistance that water provides if you move it precisely enough. In addition to that, perform each movement (every time) like you are showing someone how to do it. So you are going to fully extend through that point, hold it for a quick beat so they can see where your foot or hand ends up before you return to the start. This way you will fully engage all of the target muscles that Tracy is after, the Cinderella muscles as she calls them. You will find by doing this that where once you were able to bang out 35 or 40 reps, you may initially only be able to squeeze out 20 or 25, but they will all be "good ones!"


Finally, draw your navel in. Pull that gorgeous belly button into your spine. It will force you to extend up long through the neck and give you good posture which is so important when doing anything like this.


And here is my greatest piece of advice. On those days when every joint and muscle aches and you just don't think you can do it today?... you know those days, right? Days like ..oh I don't know.. day NINE maybe?? Give in to yourself a little bit. Don't let yourself off the hook entirely, but say you would normally get your 40 reps, whisper gently to yourself, you don't have to do all 40, get on that mat and at least perform 15 good ones. By at least doing 15, you're doing something and not blowing off the day's workout, and often once you're there, you'll find you can sneak in another 5 or maybe even 10 reps. 

Same with cardio. If you just can't face it, let yourself off the hook and promise yourself you'll only have to dance around for 15 minutes. Once the music gets in, 15 turns to 20 and 20 turns to....well what the hell, at least you got your heart rate up for 15 minutes, better than nothing. LOL.


Stick with it, I am saying that for me today more than for anybody else. The results are in escrow, that's a promise. The thing about the method is that it lets you really start to appreciate your body, your spirit and the things that you are capable of. It lets us stop obsessing, just a little, because we've done the work. Good job! We are all put together perfectly,  but some of us have just come undone a wee bit. Don't worry, with Tracy's help, we can be knit back in shape, 21 days from now, you'll see.


Cheers
Shan

One Week in - Part Deux

Curious, very curious. I'm a week into the program (second go around) and I had a peek back at how I was feeling at this stage the first time around. WOW! I slipped up big time back then and had French Fries. I was feeling horribly guilty but wasn't prepared to throw in the towel. Good for me! But you are not going to believe this....

Gulp... I had pizza this weekend. What the f*@# is it with me and my inability to stick to a strict eating plan???! Is there anyone else out there who is having this same problem and has managed a way around it? I am seriously sick of hearing myself moan about it. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I need a sponsor, not a personal trainer!

Anyway... I took to the internet and happened upon a fantastic article that was posted in the Globe and Mail Newspaper in January. It was written by Michael Evans. No idea who he is or what his credentials are but he had some interesting things to share. I'll paraphrase and give you the somewhat abridged version.

He first talks about a 70 year old psychologist who did an experiment in the 60's with some four-year-olds called the "marshmallow experiments". The kids were left alone in a room with a marshmallow and a bell. If they rang the bell and waited for him to come, they could have the marshmallow. If they waited for him to come back without them calling, they could have two. (if it were cookies, I'd be ringin' that bell straight away, I can tell you that right now) In each case, he could see the kids kicking and squirming, covering their eyes and what not. Some rang the bell right away, others lasted 15 minutes.

He followed the children who had more self-control into their 30's, and found they did better than those who couldn't wait. They scored higher on college entrance exams, they attended better colleges and they were less likely to use drugs. Goody for them.

Most of us look at them and attribute their success to their personalities, but apparently that's not the case. "The children who exercised self-control didn't stare directly at the marshmallow and exercise sheer willpower. On the contrary, they did the opposite: They thought of things other than their appetite." He showed "that behaviour is predicted not by some global personality trait, but by people's perceptions of themselves in a particular situation. He found that those who are able to resist temptation are not stronger, but are able to focus on three strategies: avoidance, distraction and reframing."
 
Essentially avoidance is when you agree to leave Starbucks as soon as you grab your mocha because you know if you stay, you'll order that oat-fudge bar, right?

Distraction is engaging in another activity instead of a post-dinner pig-out.

And reframing is looking at those inevitable setbacks in another way. "I blew it by eating crap for the month of January so I might as well forget all about Tracy Anderson and her Method" can turn into "So January sucked, I can get back on that wagon and try again." 

Cool. Now the article also mentions a second doctor, an 82 year old Canadian. This guy talks about a trait called self-efficacy which "is your perception of your ability to reach a goal." (Do you think you're going to make it to the end of the 30 Day Method a second time around?)

The odds may be somewhat against me because I have undertaken such things before, like Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way". Have you heard of this? It's a 12 week workshop/program to help you get in touch with your inner artist. Made it through the first time, but I'll be damned if I could ever get through it again no matter how many times I tried. So reading this blog may just be an exercise in futility. In my defense I did managed to quit smoking after about a hundred tries, but I digress, so let's wager that it's 50/50 and get on with it, shall we?

"Self-efficacy is commonly seen in healthy people, as they are more likely to engage in good self-management when faced with a health challenge. Without it, people are more inclined to hopelessness." 

Fear not. Apparently there's a way to strengthen this trait. You can choose and then accomplish small goals that are easy to meet. A perfect example of this is to say "today I will follow the TAM diet to a tee" rather than "I will follow the program perfectly for 30 days." Small changes are easier and more long-lasting than bigger ones. Committing to doing two and a half hours a day of muscular structure and cardio is a major BIGGIE, even though it's only 30 days, so why not commit to doing some cardio and some muscular structure just 'today'?

Alright then, so what are we going to do folks?

We are going to set manageable goals for ourselves each day, one day at a time. Good. Next?

We're going to avoid temptation. That one is so much easier said than done. The individual (who shall remain nameless to protect his identity, you know who you are!!!!) that fed me the French Fries is the the very same one who came home with Pizza. Mean mean mean. I might just have to leave the room if this keeps happening. If we can't keep the tempting thing out of the kitchen, we can certainly remove ourselves from the same, right? Right!

Third is distraction - we've got to distract ourselves from the bad food. Easy, we'll read other people's blogs and visit Tracy's website or reread the book (for the 17th time).

And finally? Reframing. That very step that I have apparently arrived at again one week in - it's the "get over it" step, the "don't throw the baby out with the bath water" step.

I think I can handle that. These old guys just might be on to something.

For the record, my whole body is aching. My knees feel like they belong on an 80 year old. I really didn't want to workout at all today, but I did it. I had help from a reader who mentioned that she splits her MC and cardio into two. I did that so I owe you one, buddy!

I do have some personal tips for getting the most out of Tracy's workouts, but I think it may be beyond the scope of tonight's post. So stay tuned.

Cheers,

Shan

Day 5 - half way thru phase one.

I have to preface today's entry with some good news. I stepped on the scale today and just five days in, I've managed to drop 2 pounds and 6 ounces. Not bad!! I don't look or feel much different, but I know it's working. 

Alright, let's get on with it, shall we?


It's hard to find the time to workout AND spend time in the kitchen prepping healthy meals so I wanted to dedicate today's post to getting the most out your 30 Day Boot Camp.

Bear in mind once again that I AM NOT a fitness expert, I am certainly NOT a dietitian, and I AM NOT affiliated with Tracy Anderson in any way so please do follow these tips in the same way you'd follow them if your bestie shared them with you over a cup of coffee (with a grain of salt and using your own common sense for crying out loud.)

The first thing I want to tackle is the menu. Tracy would never approve of this I'm sure of it, but I had to find a way to make the darned thing work for me with a busy schedule. Plus I am an uber-picky eater and I don't do diets, I mean seriously. I hate fruit and if it weren't for eggs and chocolate, I'd be vegan. A vegetarian who doesn't like fruit?? Yep! I mean to tell you I practically run on eggs and chocolate, but since chockies are not part of the program I cannot survive on eggs alone.

So here goes...

All you die-hard 30 Day Method followers out there, you should look away. I mean it, stop reading right now because what I am about to share here in the public privacy of my blog will make you cry fowl, you'll think I'm cheating. Call it what you will, it has worked for me where nothing else has. (Oh Tracy, I am so sorry for this, you are going to think I've butchered your beautiful menu. Lordissa!)

I am only speaking to the vegetarian menu here, not the regular one and definitely not the Performance Cleanse, there are no cliff notes for that one. Sorry girls you are just gonna have to chop, blend and spoon or slurp your way through that as it's written. So lets get to the first 25 days of boot camp. If you pull out your book and look at the big picture, what do you see? Let's start with breakfast. I know that there are chemical reasons for why she's chosen certain things and put certain combinations together so this is kinda sacrilege, still, I'll go on. It looks something like this --

Week one we've got our egg wrap, citrus salad, fresh melon thing, egg roll up, fruit salad, grapefruit, and egg roll up again. What have you got? Eggs, fruit, fruit, eggs, fruit, fruit, eggs, no? Yes.


Here's my first tip, the last go around and now this time too - Damn confessions are hard -- I make my egg white omelet (that's essentially what it is, with different combos of veggies tossed in) and I have that three times a week. The rest of the time, it's got to be fruit. I admit, I forced down the grapefruit and have more in the fridge, so I'll go through that hell again, but I have also picked up a prepared fruit salad combo in the produce section of the super market when I did the shop for the week. So my budget thanks me because I am not buying whole melons, pineapples and papayas and nothing is going rotten in my fridge because we do have portion size to consider. That takes care of the tropical fruit and the melon. As for the smoothie days when she calls for yogurt which I don't do, I use almond milk instead and I can use the same fruits from above for that too, or I have frozen on hand, like blueberries. 

There I said it. But isn't that simple? Eggs, fruit, fruit, eggs, fruit, fruit, eggs, bellissimo! It's more of the same in the following weeks, but we drop to eggs twice a week and she throws in some glorious grains. That's it. Easy.


Next we have lunch, now this is a tricky one. Very tricky because it's all over the map here - so what I've done is chosen my three faves and I prep 'em, eat' em, and repeat. Let's face it, if we're cooking for ourselves and not eating out, we really only rotate the same 4 to 6 meals anyway, right?

Love the tofu soup, that's one recipe that's made it into my regular life, it's so so yummy - I think there may be a chicken equivalent for you carnies out there. Next it's the Mexican Avocado wrap, and to round out the trinity I do a salad. It's sort of a Shan-combo of the Avocado salad, Greek salad and the ingredients from the Tomato Gazpacho, so essentially we're looking at any combination of some or all of the following: spinach, bell peppers, cucumber, apples, onions, tomatoes and the occasional avocado - gotta be a bit precious with those because they are full fat, but that's pretty much it. If I'm feeling crazy or have more time, I'll throw in the chickpea salad as well. Woo, look at me go.


Oh it gets worse. My snacks? Pretty much always an apple. It's easy, cheap, portable and very filling. Must say, I hated apples prior to the 30 Day Method, hunger really is the best kitchen. Failing that - I'll do the Crudites with no dressing because I don't stock sherry wine vinegar in my kitchen and I can't stand honey. Did I mention being picky??


Finally - dinner. Again with my dislikes. Hate hate hate egg plant. Other than it's lovely color, it's got nothing going for it whatsoever in my opinion. I apologize to all the eggplant lovers in the world. But I digress, it's off the menu. Period. So I alternate between veggie burgers and grilled tofu and give them different sides depending on the mood I'm in because how the heck am I going to know if I want baked sweet potato 6 days from now? So I'll do the roasted mushrooms, gorgeous, or a salad or that yummy string bean spinach number because after all, even though it's a diet, you still gotta feed your soul. Lemme tell you something, the soul wants what the soul wants and sometimes it just wants Steamed Broccoli!


So that's it. I got my breakfast combos, my three maybe four lunches, my apple - or carrot and celery sticks for a snack, and my protein veggie combo for dinner. No big mystery, no huge fuss and I feel like I still have choices while being guided gently by the master.

Okay, seriously I wouldn't blame you if you never came back to my blog since I have pretty much totally destroyed Tracy's menu - but trust me when I tell you I lost not only all the weight I wanted to lose, it was also the dreaded LAST FIVE POUNDS that stick like glue. Which is why I am back here doing it all over again.

Are you still reading? ... Whew... I mean, cool.


Are you cringing? Do you even want to hear my tips for the workout? Perhaps I'd better save that for another day's post. I will promise you though that there is no skimping and no short cuts where the workout is concerned, just little simple ways that I've found to get the most out of the time i put in.


Okay, then. Until next time. Good luck in the kitchen!
Hugs,
Shan