Hey everybody, I had a Julie Powell moment (Julie and Julia). Have you read the book or seen the film? There's a moment in her story where her husband gets upset that she wrote about him on her blog. (Husbands, right?)
When I started this blog, I was asked very nicely never to write about mine. I of course agreed... And held to that... more or less... until this week. Ahem.
I got in a wee bit of trouble, nothing major, just a gentle reminder of my promise, so I have to say that as proud of him as I am, I am not allowed to tell y'all about him. (Even though he's super great and awesome and a total rock star.) I knew this when I posted it, but I live by the motto that "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission."
Shan
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Day 9 - L1 - Continuity
Things have somehow gone all wonky. Wonky's a word right? In all my re-imagining of what I could do or be or change, I overlooked the reality that if you reinvent yourself, that sometimes means giving up the old you. At times we're happy to do that if the old us were over-weight or unhappy or numb, but what if the old us was really passionate about something but it may be dawning on us that all the wishing in the world still isn't going to turn the sky green.
It's only fair that today's post should come with a warning, I might ramble a little and it might be part of the whole mid-life crisis thing. The count-down to forty.
Or it just might be all the carbs and cheese talking, yes cheese. I am such a vegan back-slider it isn't funny. Since the weekend away with all the pizza, pasta salad and bagels, I think I may have opened Pandora's box. Last night it was tzatziki with pita bread, olives and Gouda. And I went to see the new X-Men movie so that came with Popcorn and M&M's. Will I never learn? I'm carrying a serious bloat around today people, and it ain't pretty.
I thought I had this. I thought that I was finally capable of making good choices, of knowing when to say no, or that's enough, but evidently I was mislead.
Maybe that's the thing about transformation that nobody ever talks about. The fact that as you transform you've still got one foot in each world so you're not fully entrenched in either of them. But we can't live in the in-between and be happy, can we? The ancient Sages said that it doesn't matter where we stand but how we stand there. No they didn't, I just made that up. But it sounds like something those wise old buzzards would come out with, doesn't it? Don't be attached to your circumstances because everything is temporary and "this too" shall pass.
It's inevitable that our bodies will grow old and eventually give out. They aren't designed to last forever. But we do our best to maintain them and even make them look spiffy if we're lucky so that we can get them to last for as long as we're housed in them. So why in god's name do we fill 'em up full of crap and ignore or neglect them when we know they've got to keep going?
Dunno, but if I had that answer, I'd have cracked the code to the whole diet thing and I could make an absolute fortune. Ooooooh, then I could finance my own 80 Million Dollar blockbuster myself, because fat chance a studio would pick it up if it's not part of a franchise and it's not based on a Marvel comic book.
Bitter... table for one.
I am sure there are moments in every successful person's life that they wanted to quit. They wanted to take the easier road but the thing that made them successful was the fact that they didn't give up, right? Hell I bet there are even days when Tracy wants to take the day off. The positive thing to remember here is that we always have a choice. Each new day is a chance to wipe the slate clean and start again fresh.
For example, I am back on granola today. Who cares about yesterday's transgressions? They were yesterday. Mustn't let them spoil our "today". Because who knows, today could be the day that we turn it all around. Today might be the day that we look back upon and say that was the moment where everything changed. But if we give up we may never taste that moment.
Besides, who says the sky can't be green, maybe we're just not wearing the right glasses!
Cheers,
Shan
It's only fair that today's post should come with a warning, I might ramble a little and it might be part of the whole mid-life crisis thing. The count-down to forty.
Or it just might be all the carbs and cheese talking, yes cheese. I am such a vegan back-slider it isn't funny. Since the weekend away with all the pizza, pasta salad and bagels, I think I may have opened Pandora's box. Last night it was tzatziki with pita bread, olives and Gouda. And I went to see the new X-Men movie so that came with Popcorn and M&M's. Will I never learn? I'm carrying a serious bloat around today people, and it ain't pretty.
I thought I had this. I thought that I was finally capable of making good choices, of knowing when to say no, or that's enough, but evidently I was mislead.
Maybe that's the thing about transformation that nobody ever talks about. The fact that as you transform you've still got one foot in each world so you're not fully entrenched in either of them. But we can't live in the in-between and be happy, can we? The ancient Sages said that it doesn't matter where we stand but how we stand there. No they didn't, I just made that up. But it sounds like something those wise old buzzards would come out with, doesn't it? Don't be attached to your circumstances because everything is temporary and "this too" shall pass.
It's inevitable that our bodies will grow old and eventually give out. They aren't designed to last forever. But we do our best to maintain them and even make them look spiffy if we're lucky so that we can get them to last for as long as we're housed in them. So why in god's name do we fill 'em up full of crap and ignore or neglect them when we know they've got to keep going?
Dunno, but if I had that answer, I'd have cracked the code to the whole diet thing and I could make an absolute fortune. Ooooooh, then I could finance my own 80 Million Dollar blockbuster myself, because fat chance a studio would pick it up if it's not part of a franchise and it's not based on a Marvel comic book.
Bitter... table for one.
I am sure there are moments in every successful person's life that they wanted to quit. They wanted to take the easier road but the thing that made them successful was the fact that they didn't give up, right? Hell I bet there are even days when Tracy wants to take the day off. The positive thing to remember here is that we always have a choice. Each new day is a chance to wipe the slate clean and start again fresh.
For example, I am back on granola today. Who cares about yesterday's transgressions? They were yesterday. Mustn't let them spoil our "today". Because who knows, today could be the day that we turn it all around. Today might be the day that we look back upon and say that was the moment where everything changed. But if we give up we may never taste that moment.
Besides, who says the sky can't be green, maybe we're just not wearing the right glasses!
Cheers,
Shan
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Day 8 - L1 - Continuity
I've got issues. All kinds of issues, most of which are beyond the scope of this blog, but the one I'm thinking of at the moment is a body image issue. I am fortunate enough to never have been hugely over-weight, but like our Ms. Tracy Anderson, I've got a few chunky skeletons in my closet. My problem was that every time I saw someone (film, print, real life, whatever) that was in great shape, I immediately felt bad about myself. Please don't judge, I said it was an issue, I'm dealing here okay?
I might have had nice legs, but their abs were way better, my arms might not have been horribly sausagey but their boobs were way nicer, didn't matter what it was, theirs was better and mine wasn't good enough. It's a sucky way to live. I wanted to transform, I wanted to remake myself but nothing worked until the Method.
Are you wondering about the story I promised you from the weekend? I'm getting to that, you know me, I like a good lead-in. Just hang with me for a sec, the longer you're here, the longer you can put off cardio. Notice I said put off, not get out of? You still gotta do it.
Anyhoo... I wanted to transform and while I still feel far from perfect, that icky feeling in the pit of my stomach is gone. In fact, I was watching Dancing With the Stars the other day (always looking for cardio inspiration) and I thought, hey, I'm just a spray-tan and a push-up bra away from looking like them! Almost, okay well not quite, but I didn't feel bad about myself, I felt potential instead, like I could look like that someday with a few more rounds of Transform workouts maybe.
That got me thinking... that and my weekend away. I started thinking about Transformation in general. Like, what if you could completely wipe the slate clean, start over, totally reinvent yourself? What would you do? Who would you be? And are we really stuck in our current circumstances? I've been a screenwriter for ten years now and the closest thing I've had to going into production has just fallen through. You know that thing I wrote in my little bio about being on the brink of success or the brink of failure? I feel like I am leaning hard toward the failure part, but is that inevitable? Maybe I'll never be successful as a screenwriter, but what if I could reinvent myself and write something else? It's possible right? I mean with Tracy's help I have physically transformed my body and we all know how bloody hard, damned near impossible that can be.
But think about that. What in your life have you wanted but never dared go after, or dreamed of being but still haven't quite gotten there. If I'm sitting here two weeks away from 40 and starting to believe that it's not too late, why can't you? What is holding us back?
This leads me to my weekend, the binge-filled whirlwind trip I took to Victoria. If you've never been, British Columbia's capitol city is gorgeous. Set on the water, famous for it's botanical gardens and lovely architecture, I had a weekend planned that was going to be part business and part pleasure. That's so not how it turned out. Here's the thing, my husband, the surfer dude from yesterday's post spent 8 years globetrotting around the world following the waves. What a life. And then he met moi. Moved to Toronto and put surfing on hold. One of life's many compromises. We moved to the Island so he could at least surf part time, but to make a living he took up finishing carpentry. In essence though, he became a glorified construction worker and was very unhappy.
How many of us find a job that we're good at and are relatively well-paid, so we stick with it even though it makes us miserable. I see us women do this with diet and exercise all the time. We might spend hours on the treadmill even though we hate running. Or we stuff our pie-holes with fried foods despite the knowledge that it's killing us. I am giving us permission, right now, in this very moment to make a change.
That is exactly what my beloved decided to do. He wanted to work with dogs. Loves dogs. Was really into training and rehabilitation for problem breeds but how to make a living? We can't all be Cesar Milan. But there is money to be made in dog grooming. Not exactly the most typical choice for a burly construction worker/surfer is it? I mean what if the guys on the site found out? Kevin didn't care. He knew what he wanted and the man went after it and to my surprise, the other manly men were pretty impressed and nothing short of supportive. So he left his secure job in the trades and picked up a pair of shears. He's been grooming now for five months and he loves it.
This weekend was a chance for him to go for his certification and compete while he was at it. Naturally I wanted to go along to cheer-lead.
It started out with the best intentions. A nice bowl of granola before we hit the road and my Continuity DVD and computer packed in my bag. The first deviation from the plan was a pit stop at Tim Horton's (for the International readers, that's a local donut shop). We had bagels and cream cheese! No problem I thought, my workout will take care of that. Um yeah, what workout?
We arrived at our hotel which was also the venue for the dog show, and I was quickly handed the leashes of three dogs to walk. Did I mention I'd planned for a fun get away? I had my little clutch bag, white trousers and dainty shoes! For crying out loud. And something that no one ever warns you about is that show dogs (despite being able to run around a ring) have no idea how to walk on a leash! I had little foo foo dogs wrapped around my legs nearly bringing me to my knees. As I got to the small patch of grass where they were to do their business, I stepped in wet. Ewwwe, this is where all the dogs had been going pee all day! I did my best to try to convince myself that it had just rained or that the sprinklers must have been on but it was just Sick and Wrong.
Our day didn't wrap up until around 10pm at which point, what could be done except to order pizza. Oh hell yes, and while you're at it through in a giant piece of cake, I think I deserved it. For two days, I did not see the outside of that conference room except to pop out to that patch of grass across the parking lot to relieve the various dogs I somehow became in charge of.
There were no trips to Sephora, no delightful meals out and certainly no time for working out. The ride home was no better - it was filled with Subway sandwiches, cookies, juice, pop and chips.
But here is the coolest most awesome part of this story. My husband, the newest groomer, and seemingly only straight man in his new profession not only won medals for 2nd and 3rd place for two of his dogs, he won a trophy for first place and took home a second trophy for Best in Show! Now we're not into all the pomp and circumstance of these events, but how cool is it that less than a year ago he made a complete one-eighty and reinvented himself and has walked away from his first competition at the very top of his game.
Now I should also note that his trophy looks suspiciously like an Oscar. Cannot believe the bugger got a gold statue before I did. But it's got me thinking, perhaps I need a one-eighty of my own. After all, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. Maybe it's time to try something new? Author Henry Thoreau says we should "Go confidently in the direction of our dreams. Live the life you've imagined." Maybe I've just lost my direction and it's time to readjust the old compass.
What about you? Is there something that maybe you ought to be doing or have dreamed of doing but are not?
Think about that while you're on the mat.
Love ya,
Shan
I might have had nice legs, but their abs were way better, my arms might not have been horribly sausagey but their boobs were way nicer, didn't matter what it was, theirs was better and mine wasn't good enough. It's a sucky way to live. I wanted to transform, I wanted to remake myself but nothing worked until the Method.
Are you wondering about the story I promised you from the weekend? I'm getting to that, you know me, I like a good lead-in. Just hang with me for a sec, the longer you're here, the longer you can put off cardio. Notice I said put off, not get out of? You still gotta do it.
Anyhoo... I wanted to transform and while I still feel far from perfect, that icky feeling in the pit of my stomach is gone. In fact, I was watching Dancing With the Stars the other day (always looking for cardio inspiration) and I thought, hey, I'm just a spray-tan and a push-up bra away from looking like them! Almost, okay well not quite, but I didn't feel bad about myself, I felt potential instead, like I could look like that someday with a few more rounds of Transform workouts maybe.
That got me thinking... that and my weekend away. I started thinking about Transformation in general. Like, what if you could completely wipe the slate clean, start over, totally reinvent yourself? What would you do? Who would you be? And are we really stuck in our current circumstances? I've been a screenwriter for ten years now and the closest thing I've had to going into production has just fallen through. You know that thing I wrote in my little bio about being on the brink of success or the brink of failure? I feel like I am leaning hard toward the failure part, but is that inevitable? Maybe I'll never be successful as a screenwriter, but what if I could reinvent myself and write something else? It's possible right? I mean with Tracy's help I have physically transformed my body and we all know how bloody hard, damned near impossible that can be.
But think about that. What in your life have you wanted but never dared go after, or dreamed of being but still haven't quite gotten there. If I'm sitting here two weeks away from 40 and starting to believe that it's not too late, why can't you? What is holding us back?
This leads me to my weekend, the binge-filled whirlwind trip I took to Victoria. If you've never been, British Columbia's capitol city is gorgeous. Set on the water, famous for it's botanical gardens and lovely architecture, I had a weekend planned that was going to be part business and part pleasure. That's so not how it turned out. Here's the thing, my husband, the surfer dude from yesterday's post spent 8 years globetrotting around the world following the waves. What a life. And then he met moi. Moved to Toronto and put surfing on hold. One of life's many compromises. We moved to the Island so he could at least surf part time, but to make a living he took up finishing carpentry. In essence though, he became a glorified construction worker and was very unhappy.
How many of us find a job that we're good at and are relatively well-paid, so we stick with it even though it makes us miserable. I see us women do this with diet and exercise all the time. We might spend hours on the treadmill even though we hate running. Or we stuff our pie-holes with fried foods despite the knowledge that it's killing us. I am giving us permission, right now, in this very moment to make a change.
That is exactly what my beloved decided to do. He wanted to work with dogs. Loves dogs. Was really into training and rehabilitation for problem breeds but how to make a living? We can't all be Cesar Milan. But there is money to be made in dog grooming. Not exactly the most typical choice for a burly construction worker/surfer is it? I mean what if the guys on the site found out? Kevin didn't care. He knew what he wanted and the man went after it and to my surprise, the other manly men were pretty impressed and nothing short of supportive. So he left his secure job in the trades and picked up a pair of shears. He's been grooming now for five months and he loves it.
This weekend was a chance for him to go for his certification and compete while he was at it. Naturally I wanted to go along to cheer-lead.
It started out with the best intentions. A nice bowl of granola before we hit the road and my Continuity DVD and computer packed in my bag. The first deviation from the plan was a pit stop at Tim Horton's (for the International readers, that's a local donut shop). We had bagels and cream cheese! No problem I thought, my workout will take care of that. Um yeah, what workout?
We arrived at our hotel which was also the venue for the dog show, and I was quickly handed the leashes of three dogs to walk. Did I mention I'd planned for a fun get away? I had my little clutch bag, white trousers and dainty shoes! For crying out loud. And something that no one ever warns you about is that show dogs (despite being able to run around a ring) have no idea how to walk on a leash! I had little foo foo dogs wrapped around my legs nearly bringing me to my knees. As I got to the small patch of grass where they were to do their business, I stepped in wet. Ewwwe, this is where all the dogs had been going pee all day! I did my best to try to convince myself that it had just rained or that the sprinklers must have been on but it was just Sick and Wrong.
Our day didn't wrap up until around 10pm at which point, what could be done except to order pizza. Oh hell yes, and while you're at it through in a giant piece of cake, I think I deserved it. For two days, I did not see the outside of that conference room except to pop out to that patch of grass across the parking lot to relieve the various dogs I somehow became in charge of.
There were no trips to Sephora, no delightful meals out and certainly no time for working out. The ride home was no better - it was filled with Subway sandwiches, cookies, juice, pop and chips.
But here is the coolest most awesome part of this story. My husband, the newest groomer, and seemingly only straight man in his new profession not only won medals for 2nd and 3rd place for two of his dogs, he won a trophy for first place and took home a second trophy for Best in Show! Now we're not into all the pomp and circumstance of these events, but how cool is it that less than a year ago he made a complete one-eighty and reinvented himself and has walked away from his first competition at the very top of his game.
Now I should also note that his trophy looks suspiciously like an Oscar. Cannot believe the bugger got a gold statue before I did. But it's got me thinking, perhaps I need a one-eighty of my own. After all, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. Maybe it's time to try something new? Author Henry Thoreau says we should "Go confidently in the direction of our dreams. Live the life you've imagined." Maybe I've just lost my direction and it's time to readjust the old compass.
What about you? Is there something that maybe you ought to be doing or have dreamed of doing but are not?
Think about that while you're on the mat.
Love ya,
Shan
Monday, June 27, 2011
D7 - L1 - Continuity
Ugh, so swamped I haven't even had a chance to check email, much less respond to your awesome comments or write a post.
But I have an explanation. It's a pretty entertaining yarn that involves bagels with cream cheese, pizza, pasta (and just about every other forbidden carb on the planet!!) cookies, chocolate cake, soda pop (you read that right) and champagne. It also involves show dogs of every variety, medals, trophies and one really hot man.
I know, right? I married his ass!
What the story doesn't involve is my workout. Boo! Unfortunately I don't have any more time today than I've had for the past two days, so you're gonna have to be patient with me. (Love you... please be patient??)
You're the best! And in the mean time check out hottie Bethany, a fellow TAM girl who is in a modeling competition. Go here and vote for her now! Seriously check her out, she'll make you want to get on the mat and workout. And since I have nothing left for you to read I can no longer be a distraction.
Go, now! But don't forget to come back. I'm telling you, good times ahead.
Cheers,
Shan
But I have an explanation. It's a pretty entertaining yarn that involves bagels with cream cheese, pizza, pasta (and just about every other forbidden carb on the planet!!) cookies, chocolate cake, soda pop (you read that right) and champagne. It also involves show dogs of every variety, medals, trophies and one really hot man.
I know, right? I married his ass!
What the story doesn't involve is my workout. Boo! Unfortunately I don't have any more time today than I've had for the past two days, so you're gonna have to be patient with me. (Love you... please be patient??)
You're the best! And in the mean time check out hottie Bethany, a fellow TAM girl who is in a modeling competition. Go here and vote for her now! Seriously check her out, she'll make you want to get on the mat and workout. And since I have nothing left for you to read I can no longer be a distraction.
Go, now! But don't forget to come back. I'm telling you, good times ahead.
Cheers,
Shan
Friday, June 24, 2011
D4 - L1 - Continuity
It's super late, dangerously close to rolling over into day 5 and I must get to bed. I just wanted to share with you that I have a new plan for cardio! I had an - Aha moment. I shouted Eureka!
Gold Stars.
Could it really be that simple? Could I really get my cardio done by feeding my inner child? You see my inner child loved to get gold stars on her report card or assignment, but very rarely did. In just the same way I like to check things off a list to feel like I have accomplished something, I love to get a small reward and a little shiny gold star just might do the trick.
Am going off to the south of the Island for the weekend. Can you even believe that I have two days off in a row? Had to book it a month in advance. But while I am there I will look for some gold star stickers. I can't wait to fill up my workout tracker.
Hey, whatever gets it done, right? The novelty may wear off but I'm looking for immediate results here. I'm not like you girls out there that just love dance cardio, so I'll take what I can get and do whatever I need to do to beg, bully or bribe myself into dancing.
I am taking my laptop and my Transform dvd away with me, let's see if I can at least squeeze in a muscular structure workout, after all this is a lifestyle change.
Have a great weekend lovelies.
Shan
Gold Stars.
Could it really be that simple? Could I really get my cardio done by feeding my inner child? You see my inner child loved to get gold stars on her report card or assignment, but very rarely did. In just the same way I like to check things off a list to feel like I have accomplished something, I love to get a small reward and a little shiny gold star just might do the trick.
Am going off to the south of the Island for the weekend. Can you even believe that I have two days off in a row? Had to book it a month in advance. But while I am there I will look for some gold star stickers. I can't wait to fill up my workout tracker.
Hey, whatever gets it done, right? The novelty may wear off but I'm looking for immediate results here. I'm not like you girls out there that just love dance cardio, so I'll take what I can get and do whatever I need to do to beg, bully or bribe myself into dancing.
I am taking my laptop and my Transform dvd away with me, let's see if I can at least squeeze in a muscular structure workout, after all this is a lifestyle change.
Have a great weekend lovelies.
Shan
Thursday, June 23, 2011
D3 - L1 - Continuity
I was thinking about an expression called "chasing the dragon" today. It's a term used by drug addicts. Apparently, there's nothing like your first high and some people get addicted to drugs by trying to recreate that euphoric feeling and failing repeatedly. They're chasing the dragon.
Looking back, there have been times for me while on Metamorphosis when I've really gone after the idea of perfection. I'd read about someone else's success with the Method or had seen some air-brushed model on the cover of a magazine and thought, I want that. I'd push a little harder or go a little longer yet every hurdle I'd jump still didn't quite get me there.
Eventually I hit my goal weight like you will too if you're on Metamorphosis, but I didn't feel any different. I certainly never felt perfect. I had some measurements in mind that I considered ideal and for the record I still haven't reached those numbers, but I realized something else, that they're just numbers. They're arbitrary and perfection can be anything you want it to be.
After hitting my goal weight I dipped a wee bit below it. Wow, that was sort of euphoric. I never expected that I could get there. It was like perfection only better because I hadn't expected it. But it wasn't perfect because I didn't actually feel any different. I didn't feel better, didn't look any different, in fact my clothing didn't even fit differently. This was a magic number on the scale, shouldn't I feel special or something? Shouldn't I suddenly feel like a million bucks? The reality was that while I'd shrunk and weighed less, I'd lost the weight proportionately. In other words, I looked exactly the same as I had 4 pounds earlier, only smaller. That was a problem, that wasn't perfect. And I wanted perfect.
I was on Tracy's website and from there you can go to her Facebook page. I'm not on Facebook so this was all very new to me. On her page, I found photos of these ultra-thin girls, girls I would have loved to look like, complaining that they weren't there yet. I wondered where the hell there was and I suspected they didn't serve cake or ice cream there. Who the hell wanted that?
It was confusing. I knew how I wanted to look. I knew what my idea of perfection was, so how come as I inched closer, I didn't feel differently on the inside? I was stronger certainly, more self-assured and I felt somewhat proud of myself, but I was still judging myself. I told myself that being a hateful meanie was not allowed. Yet if I had the occasional (or not so occasional) slip up, I bypassed the pleasure of that indulgence and went straight into feeling rotten.
Then something really awful happened. Something really awful that turned out to be really fantastic. By complete accident, I was able to make my outside match my inside and make my inside match my outside. You're wondering what the hell I'm talking about right?
I hurt my neck. I became immobilized. I had to stop working out. In that non-movement or what I can see now as stillness, I found peace because I realized then that what I wanted more than the ideal physique or the magic numbers was to simply regain the ability to move. I wanted to be able to perform, to jump, kick and stretch. Regardless of how it made me look, the movements of the Method made me feel good. When I rediscovered that, because clearly I'd lost it somewhere along the way, my neck began to recover (well, that and lots of help from my witch doctor) and I got back on the path.
During that period of stillness I ate less than perfectly and gained a couple of pounds. I still have them and you know what? I love them. They gave me something that some old bikini could never give me. They gave me an opportunity to accept myself wholly and to let go of this idea of perfection once and for all. Now that's what I call transformation. That and choosing egg-whites over waffles.
And by the way, the bikini battle isn't over yet. I will find one, if it takes me 'til I'm 40. Yikes, that's not much time. Stay tuned!!
Cheers,
Shan
Looking back, there have been times for me while on Metamorphosis when I've really gone after the idea of perfection. I'd read about someone else's success with the Method or had seen some air-brushed model on the cover of a magazine and thought, I want that. I'd push a little harder or go a little longer yet every hurdle I'd jump still didn't quite get me there.
Eventually I hit my goal weight like you will too if you're on Metamorphosis, but I didn't feel any different. I certainly never felt perfect. I had some measurements in mind that I considered ideal and for the record I still haven't reached those numbers, but I realized something else, that they're just numbers. They're arbitrary and perfection can be anything you want it to be.
After hitting my goal weight I dipped a wee bit below it. Wow, that was sort of euphoric. I never expected that I could get there. It was like perfection only better because I hadn't expected it. But it wasn't perfect because I didn't actually feel any different. I didn't feel better, didn't look any different, in fact my clothing didn't even fit differently. This was a magic number on the scale, shouldn't I feel special or something? Shouldn't I suddenly feel like a million bucks? The reality was that while I'd shrunk and weighed less, I'd lost the weight proportionately. In other words, I looked exactly the same as I had 4 pounds earlier, only smaller. That was a problem, that wasn't perfect. And I wanted perfect.
I was on Tracy's website and from there you can go to her Facebook page. I'm not on Facebook so this was all very new to me. On her page, I found photos of these ultra-thin girls, girls I would have loved to look like, complaining that they weren't there yet. I wondered where the hell there was and I suspected they didn't serve cake or ice cream there. Who the hell wanted that?
It was confusing. I knew how I wanted to look. I knew what my idea of perfection was, so how come as I inched closer, I didn't feel differently on the inside? I was stronger certainly, more self-assured and I felt somewhat proud of myself, but I was still judging myself. I told myself that being a hateful meanie was not allowed. Yet if I had the occasional (or not so occasional) slip up, I bypassed the pleasure of that indulgence and went straight into feeling rotten.
Then something really awful happened. Something really awful that turned out to be really fantastic. By complete accident, I was able to make my outside match my inside and make my inside match my outside. You're wondering what the hell I'm talking about right?
I hurt my neck. I became immobilized. I had to stop working out. In that non-movement or what I can see now as stillness, I found peace because I realized then that what I wanted more than the ideal physique or the magic numbers was to simply regain the ability to move. I wanted to be able to perform, to jump, kick and stretch. Regardless of how it made me look, the movements of the Method made me feel good. When I rediscovered that, because clearly I'd lost it somewhere along the way, my neck began to recover (well, that and lots of help from my witch doctor) and I got back on the path.
During that period of stillness I ate less than perfectly and gained a couple of pounds. I still have them and you know what? I love them. They gave me something that some old bikini could never give me. They gave me an opportunity to accept myself wholly and to let go of this idea of perfection once and for all. Now that's what I call transformation. That and choosing egg-whites over waffles.
And by the way, the bikini battle isn't over yet. I will find one, if it takes me 'til I'm 40. Yikes, that's not much time. Stay tuned!!
Cheers,
Shan
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
2 Continuity Continues.
Creative title, no? Another day, another mat workout, another dance cardio class missed. 218 more days to go. Lordissa how will we ever make it to the end of the year? And why exactly did we think that was a good idea in the first place? Anyone? My secret Metamorphosis/Continuity Spy, Victoria, says that level two continuity is like the Muffin Top Slayer II (level III abcentric), Revenge of the Risotto. I say Risotto can have his revenge, but tonight...
Tonight he's mine!
I actually quite like level one of Continuity. Sure it's tough, but it doesn't feel quite as hard as level six of Abcentric Metamorphosis, or level eight, the level that almost knocked me out of the game. I have a sneaking suspicion that our Badass Fitness Guru Tracy might just be lulling us into a false sense of security though. Not only based on Victoria's review of the next level but also because I've been around long enough to know that Tracy doesn't always play nice, know what I mean?
In fact I think she's gotten to me on a cellular level and it's wigging me out. (I mean isn't it bad enough just knowing that she's got her eye on us and is indeed watching us?) I had a really super mental feeling wash over me this morning as I was getting my meals ready for work. The job that I work the latter half of the week doesn't have breaks so you've got to have food at the ready so you can grab something at the drop of a hat and scarf it down like a stray in a pack of wild dogs. I try to be healthy, but this morning... this morning was like an evil little trickster took up residence on my shoulder and was whispering in my ear; "No more Dynamic Eating Plan, why not have something wicked, something fun." I was consumed with a rush of pleasure so overwhelming is was like a flood gate was opened. Anything I want? OMG. No more diet? Weeeeee! Waffles with whipped cream for breakfast? A big fat grilled cheese and fries for lunch? Anything I want? Chocolate cake and ice cream for dinner? Eeeeeeeeee! Anything I want?!! Reeeeeeeaaaallly?
Suddenly there was the sound of a needle screeching across the surface of an old vinyl record. Everything came to a halt. I shrugged the devil off my shoulder. What I wanted was salad and a veggie burger for lunch, berries for my snack. WTF? Whoa, Tracy has gotten to me in a big way. I'm the girl who hated fruit, hated it I tell you. I could have waffles but instead I chose to have scrambled egg whites? Yep, you read that correctly. I didn't even add salt or pepper because I wanted to share my breakfast with my dog. (Don't even ask).
So is this what continuity looks like? Maybe. But don't freak out, I had a handful of M&M's mid afternoon so we're not in immediate danger of being tossed into an alternate reality. Whew. I was starting to get a lil worried. Salad for lunch? What the hell is that? As for dinner tonight? Risotto, say your prayers and kiss your ass good-bye! Your time is up!
xo
Shan
Tonight he's mine!
I actually quite like level one of Continuity. Sure it's tough, but it doesn't feel quite as hard as level six of Abcentric Metamorphosis, or level eight, the level that almost knocked me out of the game. I have a sneaking suspicion that our Badass Fitness Guru Tracy might just be lulling us into a false sense of security though. Not only based on Victoria's review of the next level but also because I've been around long enough to know that Tracy doesn't always play nice, know what I mean?
In fact I think she's gotten to me on a cellular level and it's wigging me out. (I mean isn't it bad enough just knowing that she's got her eye on us and is indeed watching us?) I had a really super mental feeling wash over me this morning as I was getting my meals ready for work. The job that I work the latter half of the week doesn't have breaks so you've got to have food at the ready so you can grab something at the drop of a hat and scarf it down like a stray in a pack of wild dogs. I try to be healthy, but this morning... this morning was like an evil little trickster took up residence on my shoulder and was whispering in my ear; "No more Dynamic Eating Plan, why not have something wicked, something fun." I was consumed with a rush of pleasure so overwhelming is was like a flood gate was opened. Anything I want? OMG. No more diet? Weeeeee! Waffles with whipped cream for breakfast? A big fat grilled cheese and fries for lunch? Anything I want? Chocolate cake and ice cream for dinner? Eeeeeeeeee! Anything I want?!! Reeeeeeeaaaallly?
Suddenly there was the sound of a needle screeching across the surface of an old vinyl record. Everything came to a halt. I shrugged the devil off my shoulder. What I wanted was salad and a veggie burger for lunch, berries for my snack. WTF? Whoa, Tracy has gotten to me in a big way. I'm the girl who hated fruit, hated it I tell you. I could have waffles but instead I chose to have scrambled egg whites? Yep, you read that correctly. I didn't even add salt or pepper because I wanted to share my breakfast with my dog. (Don't even ask).
So is this what continuity looks like? Maybe. But don't freak out, I had a handful of M&M's mid afternoon so we're not in immediate danger of being tossed into an alternate reality. Whew. I was starting to get a lil worried. Salad for lunch? What the hell is that? As for dinner tonight? Risotto, say your prayers and kiss your ass good-bye! Your time is up!
xo
Shan
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Continuity Begins.
Happy Summer Solstice. I always approach the first day of summer with totally mixed feelings. Mostly because I adore summer and am so happy that she's finally arrived, but I am saddened too because after today, the days start to get shorter. Today, we peak. Know what I mean? I know I know, that's a glass half empty statement, but I just got some lousy news today about a project I've been working on that has completely fallen apart. There is no way to sugar-coat it so I'll just say that I am gutted, I'll feel my feelings and move through it. Not meant to be I guess.
So.. let's wipe the slate clean and start fresh. I think it's pretty cool that my first day of continuity happened to fall on the first day of summer. See? Everything happens for a reason. Had I not hurt my neck, I would have started continuity in the middle of nowhere special and here I am starting it on a Solstice, that's gotta bode well for me, no? Sure it does, just go with it.
I decided to be smart and watch the first sequence of Continuity before jumping in (I am doing Abcentric btw for all new readers). As I watched it I thought, hmm, maybe I could just do cardio today. Yep, it was that scary and it did not look like it was going to be any fun at all. In fact, I noticed that Tracy had a small bruise on her right leg. I wondered if maybe somebody walked right up to her and kicked her in the shin for making continuity so hard, like maybe this client had just had enough and wasn't going to take any more! Or maybe Tracy just walked into an open drawer, who knows?
Getting started, Tracy dives straight in there, no hello's, no congratulatory pats on the back for all our hard work. No fuss no muss! So I dive in too, being mindful of shamandment #12, more grace, less race. But as I attempt to follow the Badass through the arms, I find that my arms are flailing about dangerously. Once we add the weights, it becomes evident that if I do not pay strict attention, I will take my eye out, or potentially break my nose. Oh yes and she has us vogue-ing a lil bit too. And I thought this wasn't going to be any fun.
You should also be forewarned that there are lots of hands-free ab moves in this first sequence and that she has you doing standing abs with hand weights. Yikes. Although actually doing those moves with the weights felt pretty good, in a "hurts so good" kind of way. Genius really.
All in all I got to the end without injury to myself or the dog so it wasn't bad for my first time out of the gate on this. I did follow it up with cardio - look at me go - but did not attempt her new cardio. Two new things on one day might have been too much.
The exciting part of all of this is that I got to bust out my brand new workout tracker!! Yeah!! If you missed it last time, here's one for you that you can print out and use when you get started too.
Also, I did promise after photos. Ugh, I hate having my picture taken. To be perfectly honest, I think I peaked at day 19 but whatever. I'm more or less fit now and that was the intended goal, right? Skinny jeans, lifestyle change and all that? Sorry for being so blasé guys, my movie's not getting made and I feel really very blue about the whole thing. Quel drag. My apologies.
Forget me, here are the photos.
Happy summer.
Cheers,
Shan
So.. let's wipe the slate clean and start fresh. I think it's pretty cool that my first day of continuity happened to fall on the first day of summer. See? Everything happens for a reason. Had I not hurt my neck, I would have started continuity in the middle of nowhere special and here I am starting it on a Solstice, that's gotta bode well for me, no? Sure it does, just go with it.
I decided to be smart and watch the first sequence of Continuity before jumping in (I am doing Abcentric btw for all new readers). As I watched it I thought, hmm, maybe I could just do cardio today. Yep, it was that scary and it did not look like it was going to be any fun at all. In fact, I noticed that Tracy had a small bruise on her right leg. I wondered if maybe somebody walked right up to her and kicked her in the shin for making continuity so hard, like maybe this client had just had enough and wasn't going to take any more! Or maybe Tracy just walked into an open drawer, who knows?
Getting started, Tracy dives straight in there, no hello's, no congratulatory pats on the back for all our hard work. No fuss no muss! So I dive in too, being mindful of shamandment #12, more grace, less race. But as I attempt to follow the Badass through the arms, I find that my arms are flailing about dangerously. Once we add the weights, it becomes evident that if I do not pay strict attention, I will take my eye out, or potentially break my nose. Oh yes and she has us vogue-ing a lil bit too. And I thought this wasn't going to be any fun.
You should also be forewarned that there are lots of hands-free ab moves in this first sequence and that she has you doing standing abs with hand weights. Yikes. Although actually doing those moves with the weights felt pretty good, in a "hurts so good" kind of way. Genius really.
All in all I got to the end without injury to myself or the dog so it wasn't bad for my first time out of the gate on this. I did follow it up with cardio - look at me go - but did not attempt her new cardio. Two new things on one day might have been too much.
The exciting part of all of this is that I got to bust out my brand new workout tracker!! Yeah!! If you missed it last time, here's one for you that you can print out and use when you get started too.
Also, I did promise after photos. Ugh, I hate having my picture taken. To be perfectly honest, I think I peaked at day 19 but whatever. I'm more or less fit now and that was the intended goal, right? Skinny jeans, lifestyle change and all that? Sorry for being so blasé guys, my movie's not getting made and I feel really very blue about the whole thing. Quel drag. My apologies.
Forget me, here are the photos.
Happy summer.
Cheers,
Shan
Monday, June 20, 2011
Nicole's Results!! Two Thirds of The Way
Hey Everybody.
Happy Monday. I have such a cool thing for you today, a guest star. Eeeee! It's so exciting. The lovely and beautiful Nicole, a TAMMER Extraordinaire from Chicago, has allowed me to share some photos with you of her success thus far.
Nicole had been using the Tracy Anderson Method for about a year, working out a couple of times a week before she took the plunge and ordered Tracy's Metamorphosis Omnicentric. She's already on level six. Way to go, buddy! This month she has started supplementing her meta cardio with 3 mile walks to save her knees. And Nicole is the opposite of me, she hates the muscular structure and loves the cardio. So for all of you out there who love cardio and are afraid to tell me because I despise it so much, fear not, you are in good company and I'll love you anyway. I try not to judge. LOL.
Nicole is 41 years old and after seeing her photos, 40 is looking much less scary. (I will turn 40 in nearly three weeks OMG.)
She says that her size and weight haven't changed all that much, but when I asked her how she felt about being on the program here's what she had to say:
"I'm proud of doing the TAM and making it a routine in my life. I'm proud I can make it through the meta cardio and I'm really happy I'm building a beneficial practice in my life. I'm hoping I'll see more change (my butt could really use it). Notice I didn't show that off."
I laughed when I read that because from what I can see, her butt looks pretty damned good too! But what has impressed me most about her and others doing the program is how they are making the commitment to fitness. The Method is not easy. It can be demanding but it never fails to deliver if you stick to it. We really are transforming more than our bodies, we're transforming our lives. It's a beautiful thing.
Check her out.
Check out that increased definition, the muscle tone in her arms and those slimmer hips. It's crazy right? This is just a couple of months into the program.
She looks Ah-May-Zing! Now, she wanted me to tell you that she took this on a "skinny" day, but I hafta say that once you're on the Method, every day's a skinny day. And I'm sorry but that kind of definition doesn't come from sitting on the couch eating cheese doodles all day, it comes from hard work and dedication.
I'm sure some of you will be asking; did Nicole follow the Dynamic Eating Plan? She did not. She's didn't make any changes to her diet. So there is hope for those of us who continue to fall off the wagon. And while Nicole does continue to indulge in things like chocolate, I don't imagine that she over-does it. We are at that stage in life where moderation plays a key role in weight management.
I want to thank Nicole for sharing and say keep up the good work, girl. You're an inspiration to all of us.
On a final note, today was my least favorite day of the week, weigh-in and measurement day. It was a love day and a hate day barreling in with both good and bad news. But in general, I feel pleased.
I haven't managed to drop the two pounds that I gained while I was laid up with my neck injury and eating like Sumu Wrestler, so that's the bad news. I'm still a pound and a few ounces over my goal weight. But... the good news is that the inches I'd gained during that time have gone again. So the over all picture is this:
From start to finish over the course of the 90.15 days, I have lost 2 inches from my chest, 2.75 inches from my waist, 1.5 inches from my belly, 2 inches off my hips, and 1.25 inches from each thigh for an overall total of ten and three-quarter inches. I've read of girls losing this after only a few levels, so that just goes to show that this program works if you've got lots of weight to lose or you're just trying to shed those last few stubborn pounds. Keep working at it.
Cheers,
Shan
Happy Monday. I have such a cool thing for you today, a guest star. Eeeee! It's so exciting. The lovely and beautiful Nicole, a TAMMER Extraordinaire from Chicago, has allowed me to share some photos with you of her success thus far.
Nicole had been using the Tracy Anderson Method for about a year, working out a couple of times a week before she took the plunge and ordered Tracy's Metamorphosis Omnicentric. She's already on level six. Way to go, buddy! This month she has started supplementing her meta cardio with 3 mile walks to save her knees. And Nicole is the opposite of me, she hates the muscular structure and loves the cardio. So for all of you out there who love cardio and are afraid to tell me because I despise it so much, fear not, you are in good company and I'll love you anyway. I try not to judge. LOL.
Nicole is 41 years old and after seeing her photos, 40 is looking much less scary. (I will turn 40 in nearly three weeks OMG.)
She says that her size and weight haven't changed all that much, but when I asked her how she felt about being on the program here's what she had to say:
"I'm proud of doing the TAM and making it a routine in my life. I'm proud I can make it through the meta cardio and I'm really happy I'm building a beneficial practice in my life. I'm hoping I'll see more change (my butt could really use it). Notice I didn't show that off."
I laughed when I read that because from what I can see, her butt looks pretty damned good too! But what has impressed me most about her and others doing the program is how they are making the commitment to fitness. The Method is not easy. It can be demanding but it never fails to deliver if you stick to it. We really are transforming more than our bodies, we're transforming our lives. It's a beautiful thing.
Check her out.
 | ||||
| Nicole Before |
 | ||
| Nicole on Level 6 |
She looks Ah-May-Zing! Now, she wanted me to tell you that she took this on a "skinny" day, but I hafta say that once you're on the Method, every day's a skinny day. And I'm sorry but that kind of definition doesn't come from sitting on the couch eating cheese doodles all day, it comes from hard work and dedication.
I'm sure some of you will be asking; did Nicole follow the Dynamic Eating Plan? She did not. She's didn't make any changes to her diet. So there is hope for those of us who continue to fall off the wagon. And while Nicole does continue to indulge in things like chocolate, I don't imagine that she over-does it. We are at that stage in life where moderation plays a key role in weight management.
I want to thank Nicole for sharing and say keep up the good work, girl. You're an inspiration to all of us.
On a final note, today was my least favorite day of the week, weigh-in and measurement day. It was a love day and a hate day barreling in with both good and bad news. But in general, I feel pleased.
I haven't managed to drop the two pounds that I gained while I was laid up with my neck injury and eating like Sumu Wrestler, so that's the bad news. I'm still a pound and a few ounces over my goal weight. But... the good news is that the inches I'd gained during that time have gone again. So the over all picture is this:
From start to finish over the course of the 90.15 days, I have lost 2 inches from my chest, 2.75 inches from my waist, 1.5 inches from my belly, 2 inches off my hips, and 1.25 inches from each thigh for an overall total of ten and three-quarter inches. I've read of girls losing this after only a few levels, so that just goes to show that this program works if you've got lots of weight to lose or you're just trying to shed those last few stubborn pounds. Keep working at it.
Cheers,
Shan
Sunday, June 19, 2011
90.15 Graduation Day!
Every time a bell rings, a butterfly gets her wings. Or is that angel? I think it's angel, but go ahead and ring that bell anyway!
Okay, so perhaps I haven't quite graduated to Victoria's Secret standards yet, but in my defense one merely has to completely transform to become a butterfly, wherein you have to die to become an angel. Um... yeah, not ready to make that kind of a commitment just yet, thanks.
In any event, I'm no longer the furry caterpillar. Although I do have a lot of love and respect for the wee caterpillar since it was she who did all the work and underwent the transformation in the first place and on some level she is still a big part of who I am.
It feels good to be finished. The last box has been checked off on my workout tracker and even my cardio got a check mark today. Yeah!! This is what the final picture looks like...
Out of 90 possible Transform workouts I completed 86 and out of 90 possible cardio workouts I completed 56, (not stellar but it's more than I would have done if I were not on the program, I can assure you.) And granted the whole thing took a little longer than initially anticipated, but I did it. Tomorrow will be my final weigh-in and measurement day so we'll see how it all turned out. That part's nerve wracking I don't mind telling you.
I did manage to stick to Tracy's Dynamic Eating Plan for a little over half-way and then I was back and forth a lot for the duration. The final three weeks were a bit of a gong show but it hasn't been a total train wreck since for the past three days I've managed to eat rather well. Yes, there has still been coffee and chocolate, but both were consumed in moderation. Yeah Shan!!
You may also notice, if you take a gander to the right side of the screen, that a 12th shamandment has been added, a lesson I had to learn the hard way. (Shocking I know)
The lesson is that this (the Method) is a practice. We do it everyday. And since it is only a practice, it won't be perfect. Take your time. While the movements can be quick, don't race through them or you may wind up with an injury. It's dance based, further it is ballet based and since ballet is founded upon grace, you should allow the practice to grow from there.
As promised that there will be after photos. Can't say they'll look a whole lot different than day 19 but I will take some and put them up anyway just for those that are curious. Not sure when I will have a chance to take them, but I hope to do so shortly so stay tuned.
What an experience this has been. Quite an awesome little community has sprung up around the Tracy Anderson Method and I am thrilled to be a part of it. I can't wait to take the next steps into Continuity and see where that leads us.
Cheers,
Shan
In any event, I'm no longer the furry caterpillar. Although I do have a lot of love and respect for the wee caterpillar since it was she who did all the work and underwent the transformation in the first place and on some level she is still a big part of who I am.
It feels good to be finished. The last box has been checked off on my workout tracker and even my cardio got a check mark today. Yeah!! This is what the final picture looks like...
Out of 90 possible Transform workouts I completed 86 and out of 90 possible cardio workouts I completed 56, (not stellar but it's more than I would have done if I were not on the program, I can assure you.) And granted the whole thing took a little longer than initially anticipated, but I did it. Tomorrow will be my final weigh-in and measurement day so we'll see how it all turned out. That part's nerve wracking I don't mind telling you.
I did manage to stick to Tracy's Dynamic Eating Plan for a little over half-way and then I was back and forth a lot for the duration. The final three weeks were a bit of a gong show but it hasn't been a total train wreck since for the past three days I've managed to eat rather well. Yes, there has still been coffee and chocolate, but both were consumed in moderation. Yeah Shan!!
You may also notice, if you take a gander to the right side of the screen, that a 12th shamandment has been added, a lesson I had to learn the hard way. (Shocking I know)
The lesson is that this (the Method) is a practice. We do it everyday. And since it is only a practice, it won't be perfect. Take your time. While the movements can be quick, don't race through them or you may wind up with an injury. It's dance based, further it is ballet based and since ballet is founded upon grace, you should allow the practice to grow from there.
As promised that there will be after photos. Can't say they'll look a whole lot different than day 19 but I will take some and put them up anyway just for those that are curious. Not sure when I will have a chance to take them, but I hope to do so shortly so stay tuned.
What an experience this has been. Quite an awesome little community has sprung up around the Tracy Anderson Method and I am thrilled to be a part of it. I can't wait to take the next steps into Continuity and see where that leads us.
Cheers,
Shan
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Day 90.14 of my Metamorphosis
No that isn't day 9014, can you imagine? How many years would that even be? Whew, I feel exhausted just thinking about it.
It's day 90.14, otherwise known as two weeks past the 90 day mark. Or 104. Cool. I honestly, with all sincerity, did not believe that I would get here. And now that the end is so very near I am not sure how to feel. I thought I would be super-stoked and uber-proud. Don't get me wrong, I am to some degree, but I feel a little sad, like it's the end of an era. Okay perhaps that's too dramatic. I suppose if I look at it more like the end of a chapter, I can imagine that the book isn't finished yet. Instead, we'll just be turning the page into the next chapter. Still, it kinda feeds into that feeling of "we'll never be here again, people". Know what I mean? There's only the first time once, and now it's almost over. But hey, on the upbeat side of things I can say I did it!! Victoria did it!! And a lot of you are hot on our heals and soon you'll be saying you did it too! Go team!
And as for 'doing it', I managed a good strong muscular structure workout this morning, best one since I threw the old neck out of whack, and followed that with some dance cardio. Oh shut up and stop acting all surprised! It's the new me. All cardio all the time. Well not entirely new, I didn't like it, but it had to be done! If I am being honest, the thing I do like is putting that wee check mark in the tiny circle on my workout tracker that speaks to me with condescension, Bet you didn't do your cardio today did you, Shan? And I can jab my pen in there and say, did so did so did so! So nah nah na nah nah! Lordissa, I'm not childish at all am I? LOL. Hey, I say whatever gets you through it, right?
Tomorrow, Sunday will be my very last day. My dance card (workout tracker) will be all used up, done and dusted and it will be time to strap on my Continuity boots, get used to a whole new cardio workout and be totally on my own in the diet realm.
Hideously crazy scary.
Had sort of hoped that after 120-plus days on this program I might have mastered the eating thing. Maybe if I'd called the blog Mastering the Dynamic Eating Plan I'd have had better luck. Alas, I've mastered neither the diet nor the workout, still not up to full reps on level nine, but that's okay. Like P90-x trainer Tony Horton says; "Do your best and forget the rest." And frankly, I am rather happy with where I am at. A little over a week ago I couldn't move my head for crying out loud, so believe me when I say it's all good.
And... since I've aired my diet concerns and began to formulate a plan, several of you have chipped in and given me some great advice. Things that work for you, tricks you've been using and so on. I think this is all really useful stuff to discuss. So I want to share with you a comment that Chizue sent from Germany. Personally, I think the woman's a genius and she's my new diet guru!! This is what she had to say:
-after dinner, brush your teeth, do all your dental routine and then say to yourself that you can't eat or have a drink different from water or all the dental work would have been for nothing!
-always have a good breakfast, don't try to save calories for the rest of the day here.
- allow yourself one cookie or one piece of chocolate (or two) after lunch and dinner, then brush your teeth
- when you have pasta or rice always have a big salad or steamed vegetables (with lemon juice and a bit of good olive oil) as a starter, so the carb dish can be small
- have a big glass of water along with your meals, that will help you to burn 100 calories extra
-when you have to have a piece of cake, have it in the afternoon and then have a dinner of vegetables and tofu.
-and last: my ultimate breakfast recipe:
cover 2 big spoons of oat flakes or other cereal flakes (the big ones) with water and cook until water is almost resolved. Then add some frozen blueberries and a small banana. When the berries are unfrozen, add some milk or better soy milk and one big spoon of protein pulverize with vanilla.
It Sounds fantastic to me Chizue, thanks.
Onwards and upwards. I haven't given up on the bikini yet either. I am going to choose to believe that I simply haven't found the right suit to compliment my shape, to believe that I was merely overwhelmed by choice and bad lighting. I will arm myself by doing some research into what might be flattering for my figure (can any bikini really flatter an abcentric girl, I mean by their very nature they expose our weak spot??) Never mind, I'll give it another go and hopefully this time, I will get lucky!
There will be post Metamorphosis photos coming soon Andi, I promise. And on a last note, I wanted to let you know that a fabulously gorgeous practically super-model reader from the windy city (Chicago) sent in some before and after photos. She's on level six right now and you would not believe how terrific she looks! I was so inspired so am hoping that she will allow me to share them with you so you can be inspired too. It's exciting how this program works for everyone if you work it. She's on Omnicentric I think she said. All great stuff.
Big hugs,
Shan
It's day 90.14, otherwise known as two weeks past the 90 day mark. Or 104. Cool. I honestly, with all sincerity, did not believe that I would get here. And now that the end is so very near I am not sure how to feel. I thought I would be super-stoked and uber-proud. Don't get me wrong, I am to some degree, but I feel a little sad, like it's the end of an era. Okay perhaps that's too dramatic. I suppose if I look at it more like the end of a chapter, I can imagine that the book isn't finished yet. Instead, we'll just be turning the page into the next chapter. Still, it kinda feeds into that feeling of "we'll never be here again, people". Know what I mean? There's only the first time once, and now it's almost over. But hey, on the upbeat side of things I can say I did it!! Victoria did it!! And a lot of you are hot on our heals and soon you'll be saying you did it too! Go team!
And as for 'doing it', I managed a good strong muscular structure workout this morning, best one since I threw the old neck out of whack, and followed that with some dance cardio. Oh shut up and stop acting all surprised! It's the new me. All cardio all the time. Well not entirely new, I didn't like it, but it had to be done! If I am being honest, the thing I do like is putting that wee check mark in the tiny circle on my workout tracker that speaks to me with condescension, Bet you didn't do your cardio today did you, Shan? And I can jab my pen in there and say, did so did so did so! So nah nah na nah nah! Lordissa, I'm not childish at all am I? LOL. Hey, I say whatever gets you through it, right?
Tomorrow, Sunday will be my very last day. My dance card (workout tracker) will be all used up, done and dusted and it will be time to strap on my Continuity boots, get used to a whole new cardio workout and be totally on my own in the diet realm.
Hideously crazy scary.
Had sort of hoped that after 120-plus days on this program I might have mastered the eating thing. Maybe if I'd called the blog Mastering the Dynamic Eating Plan I'd have had better luck. Alas, I've mastered neither the diet nor the workout, still not up to full reps on level nine, but that's okay. Like P90-x trainer Tony Horton says; "Do your best and forget the rest." And frankly, I am rather happy with where I am at. A little over a week ago I couldn't move my head for crying out loud, so believe me when I say it's all good.
And... since I've aired my diet concerns and began to formulate a plan, several of you have chipped in and given me some great advice. Things that work for you, tricks you've been using and so on. I think this is all really useful stuff to discuss. So I want to share with you a comment that Chizue sent from Germany. Personally, I think the woman's a genius and she's my new diet guru!! This is what she had to say:
-after dinner, brush your teeth, do all your dental routine and then say to yourself that you can't eat or have a drink different from water or all the dental work would have been for nothing!
-always have a good breakfast, don't try to save calories for the rest of the day here.
- allow yourself one cookie or one piece of chocolate (or two) after lunch and dinner, then brush your teeth
- when you have pasta or rice always have a big salad or steamed vegetables (with lemon juice and a bit of good olive oil) as a starter, so the carb dish can be small
- have a big glass of water along with your meals, that will help you to burn 100 calories extra
-when you have to have a piece of cake, have it in the afternoon and then have a dinner of vegetables and tofu.
-and last: my ultimate breakfast recipe:
cover 2 big spoons of oat flakes or other cereal flakes (the big ones) with water and cook until water is almost resolved. Then add some frozen blueberries and a small banana. When the berries are unfrozen, add some milk or better soy milk and one big spoon of protein pulverize with vanilla.
It Sounds fantastic to me Chizue, thanks.
Onwards and upwards. I haven't given up on the bikini yet either. I am going to choose to believe that I simply haven't found the right suit to compliment my shape, to believe that I was merely overwhelmed by choice and bad lighting. I will arm myself by doing some research into what might be flattering for my figure (can any bikini really flatter an abcentric girl, I mean by their very nature they expose our weak spot??) Never mind, I'll give it another go and hopefully this time, I will get lucky!
There will be post Metamorphosis photos coming soon Andi, I promise. And on a last note, I wanted to let you know that a fabulously gorgeous practically super-model reader from the windy city (Chicago) sent in some before and after photos. She's on level six right now and you would not believe how terrific she looks! I was so inspired so am hoping that she will allow me to share them with you so you can be inspired too. It's exciting how this program works for everyone if you work it. She's on Omnicentric I think she said. All great stuff.
Big hugs,
Shan
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Day 90.11 - Only three workouts to go!
The scale can do one of two things for you. It can make you laugh or it can make you cry. It can even do both at the same time. What I know for sure is that as often as it has motivated me over the course of Metamorphosis and the 30 Day Method, it has also done its fair share of making me want to crawl under the covers and weep. Scale, you and me? We can't be friends!
But would you like to know what's worse than the scale? Good, because I'm about to tell you from personal experience. Bad lighting and a three-way mirror. Lordissa! And if you want to make that little cocktail of despair even more potent, why not throw in an ill-fitting bikini? Good times... if you're a sadist!
Never mind, what's done is done and we have just got to get on with it. Bikini schmikini, who needs to go swimming anyway? Me. I do! I live on the beach for crying out loud! So something's got to be done. I started all this to change my life.
Lifestyle change by its very nature means doing something or everything differently, shifting the way you currently live. Turns out 30 minutes of muscular structure six days a week just isn't going to cut it this late in the game. Who knew? Maybe could have gotten away with that sort of thing ten years ago.... oh how I miss 29. Now I know why all my female relatives have made jokes about turning "29 again and again" over the years. Alas, 29 wasn't perfect even if hindsight wants to make it so. We're here now aren't we? So we've got to make the best of it. The good news is that we have the tools, or most of them anyway.
We've got our brilliant Badass Muscular Structure work so our frame is covered. We've got even Badasser Dance Cardio, which I did today btw grrrrr, so that will burn the fat off. The only thing left to really figure out is how and what we're going to eat so we don't add to our muffin top. It's been stated time and again by Tracy and others that her diet is not permanent, we can't stay on it, nor would be want to, but what to do? Clearly I suck at free-styling it and moderation isn't even in my vocabulary. Don't believe it? Check this out...
I was thumbing threw Bethenny Frankel's book Naturally Thin and a tip she suggested when you're craving something, (chocolate anyone?) is to have a bite, then immediately switch to a different flavor so that your craving doesn't consume you. For example, if you are prone to eating the whole jar of cookies, eat one, then grab a small bite of something salty. It should break the spell. - Should - being the operative word here, ladies. I thought this was a brilliant idea, so I gave it a shot. Um, yeah, it was a big part of my unraveling. I had the cookie, then took a few potato chips (okay, in Bethenny's defense she probably wasn't suggesting that I eat chips but..). Turns out sweet and salty go really well together. No big surprise there, popcorn and M&M's, hello? This is not news!
Yet again, Shan learns the hard way.
The number one first thing I have got to get over, swallow, accept and just suck up is, I can no longer eat whatever I want. There are very few people in the world who can and most of them are genetic mutants so they don't count. For the rest of us, we must adjust to this fact. Okay perhaps if I did cardio consistently, maybe I could eat whatever I wanted, but frankly I'd rather give up cheese. You read that right. I hate cardio that much! I only do it because I like cheese, there's room for compromise in my world.
With only three workouts left and no more Dynamic Eating Plan to fall back on, I've got to come up with my own plan. And it's got to be more than moderation, portion size and clean foods. Because while all of these things are fantastic and more or less common sense, I cannot seem to wrap my head around performing them on a regular basis. I was discussing this with a woman at work and she looked at me with what I can only describe as superiority and said "Just don't eat junk. It's not difficult." Oh is that all? I don't want to judge but that same woman is a good sixty pounds over-weight and I wanted to ask, how's that working out for ya?
Going into Continuity, I don't want to continue to work my butt off, badgering myself into doing my damned cardio all to still wind up with love-handles hanging over my bikini bottoms, you feel me? But I can't keep jumping back and forth between Nutrient Boosts and Body Reset weeks. Yet I can't seem to get it together enough to eat like a normal person. Actually though, now that I think about it, what even is a normal person. I mean, look at the obesity rates in North America. Clearly we've lost our way.
I realize that sugar is a big part of the problem for me. Sugar and carbs. If you have a peek at the right side of the screen, you'll see that for me, carbs trigger my sugar cravings - it's a shamandment - so I must limit my intake. Ugh, that so sucks, but I will give it a go. It worked for me at the beginning of the program so it stands to reason that if I give it an honest effort, it can work again. Just thinkin' out loud here as I try to formulate a plan on the fly. Don't worry, I'm certainly not suggesting giving up carbohydrates as some diets do, I am merely entertaining the thought of limiting their consumption to say, once a day? (And that btw does not include fruits and veggies, those I think we're safe to eat 'till our heart's content) So let's say we're craving risotto as I am wont to do, then perhaps a good idea might be to skip the granola at breakfast in favor of eggs so I can then enjoy risotto at dinner? Sounds reasonable. All diets do though don't they, that's why the diet industry is booming.
I've put together a plan for my Continuity Practice or at least a reasonable facsimile. You can check it out here.
In the mean time, the next two days are my stupid long busy - can't even see straight much less think straight - days of work so wish me luck with the end of level nine. I promise a full review of the entire program next week. Until then, where ever you are on the path of Metamorphosis, the Method or any other fitness plan, I want you to know that you aren't doing it alone. Even when the path seems the darkest and filled with thorn bushes, you gotta believe there's light just around the bend and we'll all meet up there to celebrate/commiserate.
Cheers!
Shan
But would you like to know what's worse than the scale? Good, because I'm about to tell you from personal experience. Bad lighting and a three-way mirror. Lordissa! And if you want to make that little cocktail of despair even more potent, why not throw in an ill-fitting bikini? Good times... if you're a sadist!
Never mind, what's done is done and we have just got to get on with it. Bikini schmikini, who needs to go swimming anyway? Me. I do! I live on the beach for crying out loud! So something's got to be done. I started all this to change my life.
Lifestyle change by its very nature means doing something or everything differently, shifting the way you currently live. Turns out 30 minutes of muscular structure six days a week just isn't going to cut it this late in the game. Who knew? Maybe could have gotten away with that sort of thing ten years ago.... oh how I miss 29. Now I know why all my female relatives have made jokes about turning "29 again and again" over the years. Alas, 29 wasn't perfect even if hindsight wants to make it so. We're here now aren't we? So we've got to make the best of it. The good news is that we have the tools, or most of them anyway.
We've got our brilliant Badass Muscular Structure work so our frame is covered. We've got even Badasser Dance Cardio, which I did today btw grrrrr, so that will burn the fat off. The only thing left to really figure out is how and what we're going to eat so we don't add to our muffin top. It's been stated time and again by Tracy and others that her diet is not permanent, we can't stay on it, nor would be want to, but what to do? Clearly I suck at free-styling it and moderation isn't even in my vocabulary. Don't believe it? Check this out...
I was thumbing threw Bethenny Frankel's book Naturally Thin and a tip she suggested when you're craving something, (chocolate anyone?) is to have a bite, then immediately switch to a different flavor so that your craving doesn't consume you. For example, if you are prone to eating the whole jar of cookies, eat one, then grab a small bite of something salty. It should break the spell. - Should - being the operative word here, ladies. I thought this was a brilliant idea, so I gave it a shot. Um, yeah, it was a big part of my unraveling. I had the cookie, then took a few potato chips (okay, in Bethenny's defense she probably wasn't suggesting that I eat chips but..). Turns out sweet and salty go really well together. No big surprise there, popcorn and M&M's, hello? This is not news!
Yet again, Shan learns the hard way.
The number one first thing I have got to get over, swallow, accept and just suck up is, I can no longer eat whatever I want. There are very few people in the world who can and most of them are genetic mutants so they don't count. For the rest of us, we must adjust to this fact. Okay perhaps if I did cardio consistently, maybe I could eat whatever I wanted, but frankly I'd rather give up cheese. You read that right. I hate cardio that much! I only do it because I like cheese, there's room for compromise in my world.
With only three workouts left and no more Dynamic Eating Plan to fall back on, I've got to come up with my own plan. And it's got to be more than moderation, portion size and clean foods. Because while all of these things are fantastic and more or less common sense, I cannot seem to wrap my head around performing them on a regular basis. I was discussing this with a woman at work and she looked at me with what I can only describe as superiority and said "Just don't eat junk. It's not difficult." Oh is that all? I don't want to judge but that same woman is a good sixty pounds over-weight and I wanted to ask, how's that working out for ya?
Going into Continuity, I don't want to continue to work my butt off, badgering myself into doing my damned cardio all to still wind up with love-handles hanging over my bikini bottoms, you feel me? But I can't keep jumping back and forth between Nutrient Boosts and Body Reset weeks. Yet I can't seem to get it together enough to eat like a normal person. Actually though, now that I think about it, what even is a normal person. I mean, look at the obesity rates in North America. Clearly we've lost our way.
I realize that sugar is a big part of the problem for me. Sugar and carbs. If you have a peek at the right side of the screen, you'll see that for me, carbs trigger my sugar cravings - it's a shamandment - so I must limit my intake. Ugh, that so sucks, but I will give it a go. It worked for me at the beginning of the program so it stands to reason that if I give it an honest effort, it can work again. Just thinkin' out loud here as I try to formulate a plan on the fly. Don't worry, I'm certainly not suggesting giving up carbohydrates as some diets do, I am merely entertaining the thought of limiting their consumption to say, once a day? (And that btw does not include fruits and veggies, those I think we're safe to eat 'till our heart's content) So let's say we're craving risotto as I am wont to do, then perhaps a good idea might be to skip the granola at breakfast in favor of eggs so I can then enjoy risotto at dinner? Sounds reasonable. All diets do though don't they, that's why the diet industry is booming.
I've put together a plan for my Continuity Practice or at least a reasonable facsimile. You can check it out here.
In the mean time, the next two days are my stupid long busy - can't even see straight much less think straight - days of work so wish me luck with the end of level nine. I promise a full review of the entire program next week. Until then, where ever you are on the path of Metamorphosis, the Method or any other fitness plan, I want you to know that you aren't doing it alone. Even when the path seems the darkest and filled with thorn bushes, you gotta believe there's light just around the bend and we'll all meet up there to celebrate/commiserate.
Cheers!
Shan
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
90.Ten - So Not a Love Day!
It's late Wednesday night and I just wanted to drop you a quick line with an update. Today was a rest day so I got the brilliant idea that I'd go overseas (took the ferry from the Island to the Mainland) and "reward" myself for my Metamorphosis efforts by getting a new bikini. Cough, choke, sputter, gag...
It's been seven years since the last time I did that and guess what? There's a damned good reason for that!! Because it sucks. It's not a reward, it's a punishment. Which is actually quite fitting since I have been eating like a teen-aged lumberjack for the past three or four weeks and it's finally caught up with me.
I try to keep the cup half-full but the thing's pretty much empty after my experience today. And to hell with the shamandments, my hateful meanie came out in full force and she made me take my measurements. You read that right. After a horribly rotten day of trying on crap swimsuits that made me look like a, like a... (OMG, I'm so tired I can't even come up with an adjective) just trust me I looked bad, I boarded the ferry home feeling bitter and disappointed which is worse than just plain old bitterly disappointed. Then when I got home I thought, gee, how about I take my measurements because that won't make me feel worse, that won't add insult to injury. It was as though I had taken complete leave of my senses. It just keeps getting better. I gained 3/4 of an inch around my waist. You know that stubborn half inch that it took about 4 levels of Metamorphosis to blast off? It's back and it brought a friend. Maybe I should just go back to level three.
So yeah, long story short, not a love day. The bad news ladies is this, diet is apparently a key component on the Metamorphosis program. I guess Martie has found this out in a more positive manner, by going on the diet and losing weight. Me? Doing it the hard way. Again! But what the hell, the Canucks get one last chance at the Cup tomorrow, (or if you're a Bruins fan, Boston gets one more shot) Rocky got another chance, FIVE TIMES! So I'm gonna give it another go.
I am going to get a good night's rest and start fresh tomorrow. Clearly I am going to need a plan going into Continuity.
UGH,
Shan
It's been seven years since the last time I did that and guess what? There's a damned good reason for that!! Because it sucks. It's not a reward, it's a punishment. Which is actually quite fitting since I have been eating like a teen-aged lumberjack for the past three or four weeks and it's finally caught up with me.
I try to keep the cup half-full but the thing's pretty much empty after my experience today. And to hell with the shamandments, my hateful meanie came out in full force and she made me take my measurements. You read that right. After a horribly rotten day of trying on crap swimsuits that made me look like a, like a... (OMG, I'm so tired I can't even come up with an adjective) just trust me I looked bad, I boarded the ferry home feeling bitter and disappointed which is worse than just plain old bitterly disappointed. Then when I got home I thought, gee, how about I take my measurements because that won't make me feel worse, that won't add insult to injury. It was as though I had taken complete leave of my senses. It just keeps getting better. I gained 3/4 of an inch around my waist. You know that stubborn half inch that it took about 4 levels of Metamorphosis to blast off? It's back and it brought a friend. Maybe I should just go back to level three.
So yeah, long story short, not a love day. The bad news ladies is this, diet is apparently a key component on the Metamorphosis program. I guess Martie has found this out in a more positive manner, by going on the diet and losing weight. Me? Doing it the hard way. Again! But what the hell, the Canucks get one last chance at the Cup tomorrow, (or if you're a Bruins fan, Boston gets one more shot) Rocky got another chance, FIVE TIMES! So I'm gonna give it another go.
I am going to get a good night's rest and start fresh tomorrow. Clearly I am going to need a plan going into Continuity.
UGH,
Shan
Monday, June 13, 2011
Day 90.9 of Metamorphosis
Day 90.9, what does that even mean? It means that this program is longer than 90 days and I'm still in denial. Imagine that, me in denial. Ha!
The workout is slowly coming together, but still being extremely cautious and careful. I must say to any of you out there who were unsure about whether or not Abcentric would deal with weight on the rest of your body? Fear not, level nine is laser-ed in on your hips and thighs, six days in and I can still hardly walk! There will be a full review of the entire Abcentric program in less than a week!
I did manage to coax myself onto the scale this morning and while I still haven't gotten my ravenous appetite under control, being back on my workouts has shaved off four ounces. Not a lot by some standards, but I'm happy with that. I'm hovering one pound over my goal weight, so not bad all things considered.
You'll find that once you're firmly entrenched in this program, things you wouldn't have dreamed of doing six months ago are now an option. Like wearing shorts for example or buying a new swim suit. I did the math and it turns out that the last time I was brave enough to venture into a shop and pick up a two piece was 2004. Seriously, I'd thought those days were behind me, but guess what? I am gonna brave it tomorrow. I'm going to go on the hunt for... the bikini. Eep. I've decided to take a stab at it as a reward (this would have once been a punishment, see what I mean about doing things you might not have done previously?) for crossing the finish line, which will happen this weekend.
It comes with seriously mixed feelings. First gratitude for even being able to complete it, but it's also twinged with both sadness and relief. It's going to be the end of a really big challenge, that anyone who is currently doing this knows, feels remarkable to stand up to. On the other hand, it's also like saying good-bye to an annoying relative. You had some laughs, but they bugged the crap out of you, so you're happy to see them go all while missing them once they're out the door. Know what I mean? Not to worry, like all relatives, there's more where they came from - and in this case, they'll come in the form of continuity so I have a feeling that the sadness will be short-lived and swiftly replaced by a few new cuss-words aimed in Tracy's direction.
Until then, keep dancing, stretching, transforming...
Shan
The workout is slowly coming together, but still being extremely cautious and careful. I must say to any of you out there who were unsure about whether or not Abcentric would deal with weight on the rest of your body? Fear not, level nine is laser-ed in on your hips and thighs, six days in and I can still hardly walk! There will be a full review of the entire Abcentric program in less than a week!
I did manage to coax myself onto the scale this morning and while I still haven't gotten my ravenous appetite under control, being back on my workouts has shaved off four ounces. Not a lot by some standards, but I'm happy with that. I'm hovering one pound over my goal weight, so not bad all things considered.
You'll find that once you're firmly entrenched in this program, things you wouldn't have dreamed of doing six months ago are now an option. Like wearing shorts for example or buying a new swim suit. I did the math and it turns out that the last time I was brave enough to venture into a shop and pick up a two piece was 2004. Seriously, I'd thought those days were behind me, but guess what? I am gonna brave it tomorrow. I'm going to go on the hunt for... the bikini. Eep. I've decided to take a stab at it as a reward (this would have once been a punishment, see what I mean about doing things you might not have done previously?) for crossing the finish line, which will happen this weekend.
It comes with seriously mixed feelings. First gratitude for even being able to complete it, but it's also twinged with both sadness and relief. It's going to be the end of a really big challenge, that anyone who is currently doing this knows, feels remarkable to stand up to. On the other hand, it's also like saying good-bye to an annoying relative. You had some laughs, but they bugged the crap out of you, so you're happy to see them go all while missing them once they're out the door. Know what I mean? Not to worry, like all relatives, there's more where they came from - and in this case, they'll come in the form of continuity so I have a feeling that the sadness will be short-lived and swiftly replaced by a few new cuss-words aimed in Tracy's direction.
Until then, keep dancing, stretching, transforming...
Shan
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Day 90.8
Halfway through the last level of Metamorphosis and what a ride it's been. There were a few days there where I didn't think I'd see the end. Still don't want to get too cocky as I haven't crossed the finish line yet. Anything could happen.
But I have realized that we have a choice when it comes to accidents, injury or illness. We can get frustrated and quit, we can push through it and make matters worse, or we can settle into our body, give it our full attention and work with it to help it mend. I'm lucky because having been here before and having bullied myself into moving forward instead of listening to what my body was trying to tell me, I knew that wasn't an option this time around. I call it luck, some might say it's learning the hard way. Tomato tomoto.
More than that though, I had to examine why I found myself in the same place twice. Self-examination, that's always fun. (if you don't recognize the sarcasm, you're probably on the wrong blog)
Holly, one of my favorite peeps in the meta community, mentioned the neck being linked to inflexibility. She quoted author and publisher Louise Hay saying: "The neck represents the ability to see all sides of a situation. Refusing to see other sides of a question. Stubbornness and inflexibility." Ouch, that's hard to hear because of course it strikes a chord deep within me. I have a total type A personality. I'm a list maker, a girl with a plan. Even though I fancy myself an artist and have leapt without a net on occasion it's also true that I want what I want, when and how I want it. When I thought I wasn't going to be able to finish what I'd set out to do for once in my life (having started and quit a number of things from careers to hobbies to workouts) I got quite upset. I whined and pouted and stomped my feet before coming to the conclusion that if it was going to happen it would and if I couldn't get through it, the world wasn't going to end.
Some may read this and think, "God, what is her problem, it's just a workout program." And while that's partly true, that's not the whole picture. I feel as though I was part of creating something that has taken on a life of it's own. Not only have I created some new habits, I created a new body for myself and I feel like this amazing community grew up around me as I did that. I've never had that before. I sincerely felt like I was part of a grassroots movement of women who were starting to generate change in their own lives, to appreciate their unique beauty and to access powerful tools that we could use to redesign our physiques into fit and healthy bodies we were proud to inhabit.
That nine or ten days that I couldn't move my head, I started to wonder, what if I'd somehow sabotaged myself beyond recovery? Did I not feel like I was worthy of being part of this community? I mean, Lord knows I'd thrown myself off the diet wagon more times than I care to count and in fact I'm a bit off the rails diet-wise as I write this, but... had I somehow subconsciously done this to myself? I hope not, but I still don't have a definitive answer. I get that it's always easier to see what's wrong with other people than to see it in ourselves, so if anyone has any ideas, please throw them out there, I'd be grateful to not have to go through this a third time.
What I do know is that having this impairment while gingerly going through level nine has forced me to slow down, to do every move with precision. This may have even improved my performance somewhat. (Victory!) I'm not just going through the motions, because I can't afford to be careless. But I also know something else. I know that I'm not alone. You were all here for me and I would be hugely honored to return that favor. To be here for you too by carving out a little space in the cyber universe where we can come together and share our experiences and support one another. That's still so new to me and so incredibly cool.
And on that note...
I totally skipped out on my cardio yesterday. I'm sure there was a day last week when I would have given just about anything so that I could do cardio. Dumbass! I did it today though. And while it was against my will, I did it, so it still counts. Maybe tomorrow there's hope of getting through the day without eating junk. You think? If nothing else, we always have hope. And the great thing about Metamorphosis is that even if we're away from it for any reason at all, it continues to be here for us whenever we choose to return.
Cheers,
Shan
But I have realized that we have a choice when it comes to accidents, injury or illness. We can get frustrated and quit, we can push through it and make matters worse, or we can settle into our body, give it our full attention and work with it to help it mend. I'm lucky because having been here before and having bullied myself into moving forward instead of listening to what my body was trying to tell me, I knew that wasn't an option this time around. I call it luck, some might say it's learning the hard way. Tomato tomoto.
More than that though, I had to examine why I found myself in the same place twice. Self-examination, that's always fun. (if you don't recognize the sarcasm, you're probably on the wrong blog)
Holly, one of my favorite peeps in the meta community, mentioned the neck being linked to inflexibility. She quoted author and publisher Louise Hay saying: "The neck represents the ability to see all sides of a situation. Refusing to see other sides of a question. Stubbornness and inflexibility." Ouch, that's hard to hear because of course it strikes a chord deep within me. I have a total type A personality. I'm a list maker, a girl with a plan. Even though I fancy myself an artist and have leapt without a net on occasion it's also true that I want what I want, when and how I want it. When I thought I wasn't going to be able to finish what I'd set out to do for once in my life (having started and quit a number of things from careers to hobbies to workouts) I got quite upset. I whined and pouted and stomped my feet before coming to the conclusion that if it was going to happen it would and if I couldn't get through it, the world wasn't going to end.
Some may read this and think, "God, what is her problem, it's just a workout program." And while that's partly true, that's not the whole picture. I feel as though I was part of creating something that has taken on a life of it's own. Not only have I created some new habits, I created a new body for myself and I feel like this amazing community grew up around me as I did that. I've never had that before. I sincerely felt like I was part of a grassroots movement of women who were starting to generate change in their own lives, to appreciate their unique beauty and to access powerful tools that we could use to redesign our physiques into fit and healthy bodies we were proud to inhabit.
That nine or ten days that I couldn't move my head, I started to wonder, what if I'd somehow sabotaged myself beyond recovery? Did I not feel like I was worthy of being part of this community? I mean, Lord knows I'd thrown myself off the diet wagon more times than I care to count and in fact I'm a bit off the rails diet-wise as I write this, but... had I somehow subconsciously done this to myself? I hope not, but I still don't have a definitive answer. I get that it's always easier to see what's wrong with other people than to see it in ourselves, so if anyone has any ideas, please throw them out there, I'd be grateful to not have to go through this a third time.
What I do know is that having this impairment while gingerly going through level nine has forced me to slow down, to do every move with precision. This may have even improved my performance somewhat. (Victory!) I'm not just going through the motions, because I can't afford to be careless. But I also know something else. I know that I'm not alone. You were all here for me and I would be hugely honored to return that favor. To be here for you too by carving out a little space in the cyber universe where we can come together and share our experiences and support one another. That's still so new to me and so incredibly cool.
And on that note...
I totally skipped out on my cardio yesterday. I'm sure there was a day last week when I would have given just about anything so that I could do cardio. Dumbass! I did it today though. And while it was against my will, I did it, so it still counts. Maybe tomorrow there's hope of getting through the day without eating junk. You think? If nothing else, we always have hope. And the great thing about Metamorphosis is that even if we're away from it for any reason at all, it continues to be here for us whenever we choose to return.
Cheers,
Shan
Friday, June 10, 2011
Day 90.6
Can someone please tell me where the time goes? I lost a day somewhere. It's Friday night for crying out loud. But guess what? I've got three days off level nine under my belt! And forget my neck. I know you might be wondering how it is. I might be wondering the same thing too.... if I could still walk! Damn. A little heads up! woulda been nice before I started level nine. You know, a warning or something that flashed across the screen in bright neon writing, "Danger, hundreds of tiny tight grand plies with flailing arms coming at you." Somehow I missed those when I did the pre-screening.
Anyone remember back to when you first started working with the Method and your whole body hurt so much you felt like you'd been run over by a garbage truck barreling at top speed down the Autobahn, or was that just me? Guess what? Take a coupla days off and it's just like going back to day one. No kidding. My neck actually feels good in comparison to.. oh I don't know.. the whole rest of my freaking body!!!
And don't ask about the cardio, I haven't even attempted it yet. I didn't want to overdo it. Lordissa, I'll use any excuse to skip cardio, but I am going to give it a shot tomorrow, most likely. I will, I might, I'll see how I feel after work, maybe, or not. Seriously though, I am babying my neck as much as I can, so while there is still some stiffness and discomfort, it's recovering nicely and It has got to be due to all the good vibes everyone keeps sending.
Think you might pass a long a few abstemious vibes next? I cannot seem to stay away from the junk food. While my neck might be starting to heal, my diet has definitely taken a turn for the worse and the prognosis doesn't look good. It was my beloved's night to cook tonight so he ordered pizza. Oh sure, I protested, but it was a weak feeble attempt that may as well have been silent for all the good it did. And my promise to stick to two pieces was broken the second that cheesy crust touched my lips. Argh. When did you say you wanted to see those "after" photos? August, possibly September some time maybe?
Perhaps I'll never get the hang of this. Or, maybe this is it. This is perfection. Perfect being a body I can live with, clothes that I can actually fit into without sucking it in and being able to eat pizza on a Friday night. Actually, now that I think about it, that is pretty perfect.
Thanks Trace.
Cheers,
Shan
Anyone remember back to when you first started working with the Method and your whole body hurt so much you felt like you'd been run over by a garbage truck barreling at top speed down the Autobahn, or was that just me? Guess what? Take a coupla days off and it's just like going back to day one. No kidding. My neck actually feels good in comparison to.. oh I don't know.. the whole rest of my freaking body!!!
And don't ask about the cardio, I haven't even attempted it yet. I didn't want to overdo it. Lordissa, I'll use any excuse to skip cardio, but I am going to give it a shot tomorrow, most likely. I will, I might, I'll see how I feel after work, maybe, or not. Seriously though, I am babying my neck as much as I can, so while there is still some stiffness and discomfort, it's recovering nicely and It has got to be due to all the good vibes everyone keeps sending.
Think you might pass a long a few abstemious vibes next? I cannot seem to stay away from the junk food. While my neck might be starting to heal, my diet has definitely taken a turn for the worse and the prognosis doesn't look good. It was my beloved's night to cook tonight so he ordered pizza. Oh sure, I protested, but it was a weak feeble attempt that may as well have been silent for all the good it did. And my promise to stick to two pieces was broken the second that cheesy crust touched my lips. Argh. When did you say you wanted to see those "after" photos? August, possibly September some time maybe?
Perhaps I'll never get the hang of this. Or, maybe this is it. This is perfection. Perfect being a body I can live with, clothes that I can actually fit into without sucking it in and being able to eat pizza on a Friday night. Actually, now that I think about it, that is pretty perfect.
Thanks Trace.
Cheers,
Shan
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Day 90.4 - Baby Steps
Hey guys,
Can I just say that I want to hug every single one of you and take you all to Starbucks? Seriously, the good will, healing vibes and love that have come through this blog since I have started this journey are nothing short of amazing and I am so grateful. The fact that we can hang out everyday through the love days and the not-so-love days and take on this task of transforming not only our bodies but our lives together totally rocks. Hardly poetic, I know, but it does. It makes me happy. And "Rock" is sort of a theme tonight.
Yesterday's comments were some of the most compassionate, heartfelt and honest I have ever read as well as a very touching email from girl Steph. My heart's with each and every one of you. And today's post is dedicated to all of you.
I know that some of you are new to this blog and you may not have been around when I first got going, but this evening's experience with level nine was a little like my first day on meta. If you want to read about it, you can check it out here. Back then, I felt like Rocky Balboa, an unstoppable fighter up for any challenge, until I tripped down the steps in my new sneakers. (I've since burned those bitches btw)
It's been a really long day so I will keep this short. When I got ready to test the waters of my wounded neck on level nine, I was again feeling like Rocky, only this time I was a bit more like the Rocky in Rocky V, there was no way that guy shoulda got into that fight, all it would have taken was one hit and he'd be down for life - but he wasn't and neither was I.
Honestly I took it really easy, I did the geriatric version of things, using one and half pound weights instead of three pounds, only doing 15 to 20 reps per exercise and never taking my hands off my head during the ab sequence. My mantra was more grace and less race and I made it to the end. I was so thrilled and proud and even though I am writing this with a heating pad on my neck and back, this fight ain't over for me yet.
So with that in mind, I leave you...
Big hugs.
Shan
Can I just say that I want to hug every single one of you and take you all to Starbucks? Seriously, the good will, healing vibes and love that have come through this blog since I have started this journey are nothing short of amazing and I am so grateful. The fact that we can hang out everyday through the love days and the not-so-love days and take on this task of transforming not only our bodies but our lives together totally rocks. Hardly poetic, I know, but it does. It makes me happy. And "Rock" is sort of a theme tonight.
Yesterday's comments were some of the most compassionate, heartfelt and honest I have ever read as well as a very touching email from girl Steph. My heart's with each and every one of you. And today's post is dedicated to all of you.
I know that some of you are new to this blog and you may not have been around when I first got going, but this evening's experience with level nine was a little like my first day on meta. If you want to read about it, you can check it out here. Back then, I felt like Rocky Balboa, an unstoppable fighter up for any challenge, until I tripped down the steps in my new sneakers. (I've since burned those bitches btw)
It's been a really long day so I will keep this short. When I got ready to test the waters of my wounded neck on level nine, I was again feeling like Rocky, only this time I was a bit more like the Rocky in Rocky V, there was no way that guy shoulda got into that fight, all it would have taken was one hit and he'd be down for life - but he wasn't and neither was I.
Honestly I took it really easy, I did the geriatric version of things, using one and half pound weights instead of three pounds, only doing 15 to 20 reps per exercise and never taking my hands off my head during the ab sequence. My mantra was more grace and less race and I made it to the end. I was so thrilled and proud and even though I am writing this with a heating pad on my neck and back, this fight ain't over for me yet.
So with that in mind, I leave you...
Big hugs.
Shan
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Day 90.3 and Nine Tenths.
Nine days. That's how long it's been since I could move my head and neck with relative ease and a lack of pain. My Witch Doctor's been great. I have about 85% mobility back so I'm really grateful for that and I am trying to remain steadfastly positive. Stiff upper lip etcetera.
If you've read my profile, you know that I have a long-standing neck "thing". A couple of years ago, it would become immobilized at the drop of a hat and there was nothing to do but wait. I had to let go of my yoga practice, which was a huge part of my life at the time, because it was one of the things that would set it off. Then, I began the long road to recovery using a variety of modalities until I was well again.
I've been well for over three years. I use the term well loosely because everything I do, I do in moderation and with modification. No more bungee jumping for this cat. Now I'm not sure where I am. Last Friday I was feeling well enough to go dancing. Notice I wrote go dancing and not do cardio - huge difference. But Saturday I woke up feeling as bad, if not worse than I did on the day the injury first reoccurred. Quel drag.
I can't sit on the side-lines forever, it's not in my nature to hurry-up and wait. And I do realize that on the weekend I held off on my pity party and focused on the more positive aspects of the program, the accomplishments of those I adore. But the past week has not been without its pity party, I can assure you. There have been days were I was sitting on my pity potty being a weepasaurus rex. A wimpy old cry baby, stuffing my face with chocolates, chips and cake. Yes there was cake at my party, what are you gonna do about it?! I've covered all the bases. I got angry. Why me. I cried and stamped my feet. I was shocked and in denial and could not believe this was happening to me all over again. First yoga, now the method. NOT FAIR, I wailed as I kept eating pasta and risotto.
I begged and pleaded and bargained. I even pumped my fists in the air. No people, it has not been pretty at Chez Shan, I'm sorry to report. And if I'm being brutally honest, I have not yet reached acceptance. There's more fight left in me and I do not want to lie down and accept that it's over. The journey on Meta just cannot be finished for me. Can you imagine? How much would that totally suck? Trust me, it would suck big-time!
So... I watched level nine. A lovely reader posted a comment yesterday wherein she called level three TAM Potion #3. (I loved that so I'm stealing it - with credit to you, Jah darling). Again, I watched level nine and at the start of the sequence, Tracy refers to it as a prescription. I sure could use one of those right about now. TAM potion #9 my prescription for perfection. Hell I'd take a prescription for mobility right now. Sorry guys, I'm just a lil bit frustrated and the whole point of this blog to accurately report my journey. Ick, blah, grrr, argh.
The reality of the situation is this. I plan to grab a massage this afternoon. If that helps in conjunction with my acupuncture treatments and I am feeling even marginally better tomorrow - I am going to take a stab at level nine. I can't be worse off than I am now. The agreement I made with myself was this...
I am not going back to level 8. Apparently there was just no modifying some of those moves and I wound up here. So I weighed in and measured up this morning UGH, more on that in a sec, and I am going to attempt a kiddie version of level nine tomorrow. Half the reps, no one-armed abs - hands behind the head at all times - that kind of thing and it will either be success or failure, but either way I'll know if I can drag my sorry butt across the finish line.
I know you might be thinking, Shan, just wait, rest until you are 100%, but I have been here before and there's no getting to 100% without exercise of some sort. I'm just going in to test the waters and nobody knows my body and her abilities (or in this case, limitations) better than me. I will be taking it very easy but I have to know because I don't want to string you all along if I in fact cannot finish. Because if I cannot get through level nine, there will be no continuity in my immediate future.
Just for the sake of interest - having been off for nine days and eating like there's no tomorrow, the damage done wasn't as horrifying as I was expecting. Lemme hit you with the good news first. My hips, thighs and lower belly have all stayed the same, no loss or gain. Whew. My arms are a wee bit bigger but that's a good thing as far as I'm concerned because I have no desire for twig arms, I'm not a snowman.... although, a snowman does have an unusually thick waist... I won't even go there.
The bottom line is that I gained a quarter of an inch in my waist. I know that seems like so little, and it is in the big picture I suppose, I do have some perspective. It's just that it took incredibly long to get that last quarter inch to budge. As far as my weight is concerned, I've gained two pounds four ounces. Again, nothing to cry in my beer over, but I wanted you all to know that if you eat without caution and you sit on your butt, the magic will eventually wear off. It's like I said the other day, you have got to put one foot in front of the other again and again if you are going to get anywhere. We can't do nothing and expect change is all I'm saying.
As you can probably tell, I needed a bit of a pick me up, so I found this old photo of Jane Fonda from the film On Golden Pond. Love that movie, if you've never seen it, do yourself a favor. So great.
Gorgeous, look at those abs! The woman was 44 when this was taken, so I feel like even if I am unable to continue at this point there is still time for me. I'll get there eventually. Am just hoping to do it by age 40, that's next month!!!
Anyway, wish me luck. I'll keep you posted.
Warmly,
Shan
If you've read my profile, you know that I have a long-standing neck "thing". A couple of years ago, it would become immobilized at the drop of a hat and there was nothing to do but wait. I had to let go of my yoga practice, which was a huge part of my life at the time, because it was one of the things that would set it off. Then, I began the long road to recovery using a variety of modalities until I was well again.
I've been well for over three years. I use the term well loosely because everything I do, I do in moderation and with modification. No more bungee jumping for this cat. Now I'm not sure where I am. Last Friday I was feeling well enough to go dancing. Notice I wrote go dancing and not do cardio - huge difference. But Saturday I woke up feeling as bad, if not worse than I did on the day the injury first reoccurred. Quel drag.
I can't sit on the side-lines forever, it's not in my nature to hurry-up and wait. And I do realize that on the weekend I held off on my pity party and focused on the more positive aspects of the program, the accomplishments of those I adore. But the past week has not been without its pity party, I can assure you. There have been days were I was sitting on my pity potty being a weepasaurus rex. A wimpy old cry baby, stuffing my face with chocolates, chips and cake. Yes there was cake at my party, what are you gonna do about it?! I've covered all the bases. I got angry. Why me. I cried and stamped my feet. I was shocked and in denial and could not believe this was happening to me all over again. First yoga, now the method. NOT FAIR, I wailed as I kept eating pasta and risotto.
I begged and pleaded and bargained. I even pumped my fists in the air. No people, it has not been pretty at Chez Shan, I'm sorry to report. And if I'm being brutally honest, I have not yet reached acceptance. There's more fight left in me and I do not want to lie down and accept that it's over. The journey on Meta just cannot be finished for me. Can you imagine? How much would that totally suck? Trust me, it would suck big-time!
So... I watched level nine. A lovely reader posted a comment yesterday wherein she called level three TAM Potion #3. (I loved that so I'm stealing it - with credit to you, Jah darling). Again, I watched level nine and at the start of the sequence, Tracy refers to it as a prescription. I sure could use one of those right about now. TAM potion #9 my prescription for perfection. Hell I'd take a prescription for mobility right now. Sorry guys, I'm just a lil bit frustrated and the whole point of this blog to accurately report my journey. Ick, blah, grrr, argh.
The reality of the situation is this. I plan to grab a massage this afternoon. If that helps in conjunction with my acupuncture treatments and I am feeling even marginally better tomorrow - I am going to take a stab at level nine. I can't be worse off than I am now. The agreement I made with myself was this...
I am not going back to level 8. Apparently there was just no modifying some of those moves and I wound up here. So I weighed in and measured up this morning UGH, more on that in a sec, and I am going to attempt a kiddie version of level nine tomorrow. Half the reps, no one-armed abs - hands behind the head at all times - that kind of thing and it will either be success or failure, but either way I'll know if I can drag my sorry butt across the finish line.
I know you might be thinking, Shan, just wait, rest until you are 100%, but I have been here before and there's no getting to 100% without exercise of some sort. I'm just going in to test the waters and nobody knows my body and her abilities (or in this case, limitations) better than me. I will be taking it very easy but I have to know because I don't want to string you all along if I in fact cannot finish. Because if I cannot get through level nine, there will be no continuity in my immediate future.
Just for the sake of interest - having been off for nine days and eating like there's no tomorrow, the damage done wasn't as horrifying as I was expecting. Lemme hit you with the good news first. My hips, thighs and lower belly have all stayed the same, no loss or gain. Whew. My arms are a wee bit bigger but that's a good thing as far as I'm concerned because I have no desire for twig arms, I'm not a snowman.... although, a snowman does have an unusually thick waist... I won't even go there.
The bottom line is that I gained a quarter of an inch in my waist. I know that seems like so little, and it is in the big picture I suppose, I do have some perspective. It's just that it took incredibly long to get that last quarter inch to budge. As far as my weight is concerned, I've gained two pounds four ounces. Again, nothing to cry in my beer over, but I wanted you all to know that if you eat without caution and you sit on your butt, the magic will eventually wear off. It's like I said the other day, you have got to put one foot in front of the other again and again if you are going to get anywhere. We can't do nothing and expect change is all I'm saying.
As you can probably tell, I needed a bit of a pick me up, so I found this old photo of Jane Fonda from the film On Golden Pond. Love that movie, if you've never seen it, do yourself a favor. So great.
Gorgeous, look at those abs! The woman was 44 when this was taken, so I feel like even if I am unable to continue at this point there is still time for me. I'll get there eventually. Am just hoping to do it by age 40, that's next month!!!
Anyway, wish me luck. I'll keep you posted.
Warmly,
Shan
Monday, June 6, 2011
Day 90.3 and Five Sixths Maybe?
Are five sixths and seven eighths the same thing? I so suck at math. In any case - I'm still on day 90.3 and you know what that means. It means I am still not working out. It's okay though because I am feeling better and have a plan. I don't dare say it out loud and I absolutely cannot put it in writing in case the 'ole bastard Fate or the Fitness gods are watching and want to foil it. Paranoid much? Hey don't judge me! Sit where I'm sitting and see if you're not looking over your shoulder. Well, technically I can't actually look over my shoulder because my head won't turn that far, but you know what I mean for crying out loud.
I'm still in the game though and I have hope that I don't have to go back to the beginning, no way in hell I am going to put myself through level's three, six or eight again. Ahem, to those of you who have not yet been down to those particular fiery rings of hell.... um... don't worry, you'll be fine. Piece of cake. Seriously, Sandy loves level three. Don't you Sandy? Sorry, darling, still not over that. How can anyone love level three!?!? LOL.
Today's as good a day as any to tackle the subject of motivation and willpower. Yes I've gone on about motivation ad nauseam on this blog but there is always more to say and we could all use a gentle reminder now and again. Okay I need a gentle reminder, if you've got this, you can skip today's post and go do your damned cardio you keener!
When you're in something for the long haul, like weight watchers, training for a marathon, climbing Everest or I dunno, doing Metamorphosis?! you are going to have love days and hate days. You'll run into moments where you come across a snag and things go off course or you're tired and you just want to play a new game, you're going to have to dig deep and find that one small reason to carry on. I went through a phase a while back where I was scanning the book store shelves checking out every hot and trendy diet book looking for a way out of the Dynamic Eating Plan. Was I bored? Was I not seeing results? Was I trying to sabotage myself? Who knows. Who cares. That's not really the point. The point is that I was in the middle of the tunnel and I wanted off the train.
Our glowing graduate Victoria had a similar experience in or around level 8 (hope I am getting this right Vic and not confusing you with someone else - at least part of this story will be true) where she was struggling to get a grip on her eating habits. She was starting to deflate a little bit and was feeling discouraged. Happens to all of us, but then she went to Lululemon and found that she was able to get into a size 4! Holy cow, it was a game changer and she was back in the ring like a prize-fighter! She found a reason to carry on.
I know my girl Alma has been feeling the blues a lil bit lately. When this happens, it helps to go back to the reasons we started this in the first place. Pull out that big white box and have a look at Tracy's message or watch her message on that first DVD, again this is nothing new, but there's more to this.
When pitfalls happen, or we're tired or frustrated, perhaps our results have slowed or in some cases stopped altogether, first, we have to be really honest with ourselves. Are we really giving that workout our best effort, are we really doing it consistently, are we really not over-eating or eating the right stuff? Only you can answer those questions for yourself. But it has come to my attention that there is something else. Guess what? Turns out we cannot rely on willpower alone.
You may already know this, but for me, it was a revelation of sorts. I have always looked at those morning joggers, you know the ones. They're out there every morning on your drive to work, rain or shine, sleet and snow. I used to look at them and envy their willpower. When I fall off the wagon as I am wont to do, I beat myself up a bit (not since putting the shamandments in place - no being a hateful meanie) but I still feel bad because of my lack of willpower.
But guess what people? It isn't a lack of willpower - it's willpower that's crapped out on me. Were you even aware that your willpower is like a muscle and that it can tire out or get strained with over-use? Yes. According to Jillian Michaels, your willpower works well when exercised but it can become exhausted and fail you. Hence the need for motivational tools and techniques. This is why extreme diets will fail you every time. Not because you're weak and worthless, but because your willpower can only carry you so far before - like an exhausted horse without water - it can collapse and die. Okay perhaps I do have a flair for the dramatic, but you get the idea, right? And isn't it a relief to know this?
So when we undertake dramatic lifestyle changes, we have to sort of want it and we have to sort of enjoy what we're doing. This is why we're not all runners. Those early bird joggers may not be loving it everyday - we all have hate days - but overall they actually enjoy the sound of their feet on the pavement, the wind in their hair or whatever. I actually enjoy working all those angles on the mat. This is why, until my neck conked out I only missed one muscular structure workout in 90 days. It also explains why I have missed so much cardio. But I feel a whole lot better about it. I will find a way to make it work - for me - once I get into continuity. It may be that I only do it on the rebounder or I only do it three times a week - something to make it manageable for my constitution. When I come up with the strategy for continuity, you all will be the first to know.
In the mean time, use your willpower, but give it a break every now and then. And if it packs out don't blame yourself. Just remind yourself of the things you love about the program and place your focus there.
Happy Monday.
Shan
I'm still in the game though and I have hope that I don't have to go back to the beginning, no way in hell I am going to put myself through level's three, six or eight again. Ahem, to those of you who have not yet been down to those particular fiery rings of hell.... um... don't worry, you'll be fine. Piece of cake. Seriously, Sandy loves level three. Don't you Sandy? Sorry, darling, still not over that. How can anyone love level three!?!? LOL.
Today's as good a day as any to tackle the subject of motivation and willpower. Yes I've gone on about motivation ad nauseam on this blog but there is always more to say and we could all use a gentle reminder now and again. Okay I need a gentle reminder, if you've got this, you can skip today's post and go do your damned cardio you keener!
When you're in something for the long haul, like weight watchers, training for a marathon, climbing Everest or I dunno, doing Metamorphosis?! you are going to have love days and hate days. You'll run into moments where you come across a snag and things go off course or you're tired and you just want to play a new game, you're going to have to dig deep and find that one small reason to carry on. I went through a phase a while back where I was scanning the book store shelves checking out every hot and trendy diet book looking for a way out of the Dynamic Eating Plan. Was I bored? Was I not seeing results? Was I trying to sabotage myself? Who knows. Who cares. That's not really the point. The point is that I was in the middle of the tunnel and I wanted off the train.
Our glowing graduate Victoria had a similar experience in or around level 8 (hope I am getting this right Vic and not confusing you with someone else - at least part of this story will be true) where she was struggling to get a grip on her eating habits. She was starting to deflate a little bit and was feeling discouraged. Happens to all of us, but then she went to Lululemon and found that she was able to get into a size 4! Holy cow, it was a game changer and she was back in the ring like a prize-fighter! She found a reason to carry on.
I know my girl Alma has been feeling the blues a lil bit lately. When this happens, it helps to go back to the reasons we started this in the first place. Pull out that big white box and have a look at Tracy's message or watch her message on that first DVD, again this is nothing new, but there's more to this.
When pitfalls happen, or we're tired or frustrated, perhaps our results have slowed or in some cases stopped altogether, first, we have to be really honest with ourselves. Are we really giving that workout our best effort, are we really doing it consistently, are we really not over-eating or eating the right stuff? Only you can answer those questions for yourself. But it has come to my attention that there is something else. Guess what? Turns out we cannot rely on willpower alone.
You may already know this, but for me, it was a revelation of sorts. I have always looked at those morning joggers, you know the ones. They're out there every morning on your drive to work, rain or shine, sleet and snow. I used to look at them and envy their willpower. When I fall off the wagon as I am wont to do, I beat myself up a bit (not since putting the shamandments in place - no being a hateful meanie) but I still feel bad because of my lack of willpower.
But guess what people? It isn't a lack of willpower - it's willpower that's crapped out on me. Were you even aware that your willpower is like a muscle and that it can tire out or get strained with over-use? Yes. According to Jillian Michaels, your willpower works well when exercised but it can become exhausted and fail you. Hence the need for motivational tools and techniques. This is why extreme diets will fail you every time. Not because you're weak and worthless, but because your willpower can only carry you so far before - like an exhausted horse without water - it can collapse and die. Okay perhaps I do have a flair for the dramatic, but you get the idea, right? And isn't it a relief to know this?
So when we undertake dramatic lifestyle changes, we have to sort of want it and we have to sort of enjoy what we're doing. This is why we're not all runners. Those early bird joggers may not be loving it everyday - we all have hate days - but overall they actually enjoy the sound of their feet on the pavement, the wind in their hair or whatever. I actually enjoy working all those angles on the mat. This is why, until my neck conked out I only missed one muscular structure workout in 90 days. It also explains why I have missed so much cardio. But I feel a whole lot better about it. I will find a way to make it work - for me - once I get into continuity. It may be that I only do it on the rebounder or I only do it three times a week - something to make it manageable for my constitution. When I come up with the strategy for continuity, you all will be the first to know.
In the mean time, use your willpower, but give it a break every now and then. And if it packs out don't blame yourself. Just remind yourself of the things you love about the program and place your focus there.
Happy Monday.
Shan
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Day 90.3 and three quarters.
I am refusing to move on in my day count until I can officially move on with my workout, so it's day 90.3 and three quarters, deal with it! Yesterday I was feeling good, not totally back to normal but I thought... one more sleep will do it.. like a kid counting down to Christmas I was sure I would be able to get back to my workout today. I have no idea what I have done to that rat-bastard Fate to piss him off so dearly, but either I'm cursed or I've slept wrong, because I woke up with not only one side of my neck in spasm, but both sides and my mid-back. WTF?! So rather than throw myself a pity-party I thought I'd come here and throw a party of other sorts for someone else. Humor me as I build my way up to it, okay?
Some of us got here because we're hitting that time in our lives when we're wondering, is there still time for me to feel great in my own skin or have I passed the point of no return? Others have struggled with their weight for years and are just sick and tired of it, still others may have post-pregnancy baby weight to shed or are dealing with the college twenty - you know, the 20 pounds you pack on that first year of university because of all the late night snacking or partying? Regardless of the reason we all want the same thing, to feel good about ourselves. Am I right? (don't argue with me today, I've got a pain in the neck and I can turn into one in a real hurry on days like this.) I'm right!
Here's the thing, it took some time to get us out-of-shape and unfortunately as much as we wish it were not the case, there is no magic pill that will miraculously turn us into perfection. Although reader Morgan is working on that. Hurry up woman! When I first began this... I don't want to use the word battle or fight but struggle is so cliche... let's call it a trek because I often think of Metamorphosis as us metaphorically climbing Mount Everest.. when I first began this trek, I was angry. I am not genetically blessed. While not over-weight per se, I have never had a waist. I've been shaped like a pre-teen or a boy my entire life. But as I moved through my 30's my boyish figure spread out into an actual muffin top, but you know all this. My point is that I wondered, why should I have to work my butt off and give up all my favorite foods just to go back to being shape-less? Because let's face it, when you don't have a waist to begin with, even losing the love-handles doesn't leave you with the body you want anyway.
I wrestled with this for a long time as I slogged through hours swinging a kettle bell or doing lunges and squats but when nothing worked, I thought that was the end of the line. And then I found Tracy. Yes, I finally realized that it was time to face the music, it wasn't going to be easy, but I just had to do it. I had to workout and workout hard and I had to give up some of my favorite foods. Just had to. That's the way it is.
My sister has known this all along. She's older and sometimes... she can be wiser. She was so matter-of-fact about it one day on the phone, she just said, "stop eating cheese and chocolate all the time". Duh, like I didn't know that already, I just couldn't seem to do it. She was on Weight Watchers at the time. And the thing about programs like that, is that if you follow them, just suck it up and do what you are told, you will lose the weight. They can even predict how much and how fast you'll lose it. It's not always nice and it certainly doesn't seem fair, (I for one think that I should be able to sit and watch television and eat cheese doodles all night long and never gain an ounce) but that's the way it is.
If you make those changes in your lifestyle, cut out the crap food, inject the workouts, and do this consistently putting one foot in front of the other, day after day, you will get results. Tracy's Metamorphosis is proof of that. I mean have you seen my before and after pictures? Perseverance is very important to success, "how else would two snails have made it to the arc?" This is the very same method by which the tortoise beat the hare in that infamous race, no?
Why am I reminding you of all of this and how the heck does this relate to a party? Patience is also another handy tool to have in your weigh-loss toolkit people, I'm getting to that. I have an hour to kill remember (can't workout here!!!) Grab a cup of tea and gather around, I have got a story to tell...
Once upon a time there was a girl. She was a very pretty girl with lovely hair and a brilliant smile and everywhere she went she spread sunshine and joy. She brought with her compassion, understanding and an assurance that while not always easy, things would eventually be... okay. As the girl grew up she went through a period of change and she became a little less happy with herself. Things were not always perfect. And this troubled the girl, but she was resilient and she looked for ways to make things better and restore her world and the world of those around her back to balance.
Being such a wise girl, she knew she couldn't undertake this enormous task alone, so she found herself a golden-haired Fairy God-Mother. Can you guess who that Fairy God-Mother was?
Yes, Ms. Tracy Anderson. So this very pretty, lovely-haired, sun-shiny girl got straight to work on Metamorphosis, but her journey was not without its dangerous pitfalls. It certainly wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, no. There were two sprained ankles, count em - two!! and a nasty cold and yet she never gave up. She had hope to spread, so she carried on and she made it all the way to the end!!
OMG - she made it! I have tears in my eyes as I write this, I am so proud of her and her success and her tenacious attitude and never-give-up spirit, she has been my guiding light, leading me through the sometimes maze that is Abcentric so to honor her - I am declaring today, Saturday June the 4th - VICTORIA DAY! (Victoria day is an actual holiday in Canada but it's sometime in May, let's not confuse the two)
Victoria, you have been an uber-inspiration and I could not have come this far without you. The fact that you survived two sprained ankles helps me believe that I too can get through this neck thing and see this program through to the end. (But I am not starting over at day 1 damn it, although I may actually have to begin level 8 again. You remember how absolutely horrific level 8 is don't you? Waaaaaaaaaa! oops, pity party, my bad)
I wanted to do something to honor you and your success. I gave it serious thought. But since Canada Post has an impending strike and I am totally poor, I knew I couldn't like - mail you a trophy or a blue ribbon or make you a cake or anything...
So I came up with this!
(I should note that this is not part of Metamorphosis, nor is it endorsed by Tracy, although I don't think she'd object.)
I know it's homemade and maybe just a little cheesy, okay a lot cheesy, but I personally think you should totally print it out, frame it and hang the damned thing on the wall, girl! Way to go, you have a lot to be proud of. Doesn't she have a lot to be proud of?
And!! And I think we should all do this for ourselves. We deserve recognition. In AA they get chips and medallions, when you run a race you get a ribbon. This program can be an absolute marathon, it is a lot like climbing a mountain, so should we too not plant a metaphorical stake in the the ground to say we made it? I say hell ya, we should. I'm going to. I'm gonna make my own certificate if, sorry WHEN, I finish this program and I'm going to celebrate.
So Victoria, I raise my glass of sparkling water in a toast to you, my friend. You're my hero, buddy! Enjoy your break before Continuity - and lemme add, thank the Lord that you are doing Continuity. Whew!
Big big hugs.
Shan
Some of us got here because we're hitting that time in our lives when we're wondering, is there still time for me to feel great in my own skin or have I passed the point of no return? Others have struggled with their weight for years and are just sick and tired of it, still others may have post-pregnancy baby weight to shed or are dealing with the college twenty - you know, the 20 pounds you pack on that first year of university because of all the late night snacking or partying? Regardless of the reason we all want the same thing, to feel good about ourselves. Am I right? (don't argue with me today, I've got a pain in the neck and I can turn into one in a real hurry on days like this.) I'm right!
Here's the thing, it took some time to get us out-of-shape and unfortunately as much as we wish it were not the case, there is no magic pill that will miraculously turn us into perfection. Although reader Morgan is working on that. Hurry up woman! When I first began this... I don't want to use the word battle or fight but struggle is so cliche... let's call it a trek because I often think of Metamorphosis as us metaphorically climbing Mount Everest.. when I first began this trek, I was angry. I am not genetically blessed. While not over-weight per se, I have never had a waist. I've been shaped like a pre-teen or a boy my entire life. But as I moved through my 30's my boyish figure spread out into an actual muffin top, but you know all this. My point is that I wondered, why should I have to work my butt off and give up all my favorite foods just to go back to being shape-less? Because let's face it, when you don't have a waist to begin with, even losing the love-handles doesn't leave you with the body you want anyway.
I wrestled with this for a long time as I slogged through hours swinging a kettle bell or doing lunges and squats but when nothing worked, I thought that was the end of the line. And then I found Tracy. Yes, I finally realized that it was time to face the music, it wasn't going to be easy, but I just had to do it. I had to workout and workout hard and I had to give up some of my favorite foods. Just had to. That's the way it is.
My sister has known this all along. She's older and sometimes... she can be wiser. She was so matter-of-fact about it one day on the phone, she just said, "stop eating cheese and chocolate all the time". Duh, like I didn't know that already, I just couldn't seem to do it. She was on Weight Watchers at the time. And the thing about programs like that, is that if you follow them, just suck it up and do what you are told, you will lose the weight. They can even predict how much and how fast you'll lose it. It's not always nice and it certainly doesn't seem fair, (I for one think that I should be able to sit and watch television and eat cheese doodles all night long and never gain an ounce) but that's the way it is.
If you make those changes in your lifestyle, cut out the crap food, inject the workouts, and do this consistently putting one foot in front of the other, day after day, you will get results. Tracy's Metamorphosis is proof of that. I mean have you seen my before and after pictures? Perseverance is very important to success, "how else would two snails have made it to the arc?" This is the very same method by which the tortoise beat the hare in that infamous race, no?
Why am I reminding you of all of this and how the heck does this relate to a party? Patience is also another handy tool to have in your weigh-loss toolkit people, I'm getting to that. I have an hour to kill remember (can't workout here!!!) Grab a cup of tea and gather around, I have got a story to tell...
Once upon a time there was a girl. She was a very pretty girl with lovely hair and a brilliant smile and everywhere she went she spread sunshine and joy. She brought with her compassion, understanding and an assurance that while not always easy, things would eventually be... okay. As the girl grew up she went through a period of change and she became a little less happy with herself. Things were not always perfect. And this troubled the girl, but she was resilient and she looked for ways to make things better and restore her world and the world of those around her back to balance.
Being such a wise girl, she knew she couldn't undertake this enormous task alone, so she found herself a golden-haired Fairy God-Mother. Can you guess who that Fairy God-Mother was?
Yes, Ms. Tracy Anderson. So this very pretty, lovely-haired, sun-shiny girl got straight to work on Metamorphosis, but her journey was not without its dangerous pitfalls. It certainly wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, no. There were two sprained ankles, count em - two!! and a nasty cold and yet she never gave up. She had hope to spread, so she carried on and she made it all the way to the end!!
OMG - she made it! I have tears in my eyes as I write this, I am so proud of her and her success and her tenacious attitude and never-give-up spirit, she has been my guiding light, leading me through the sometimes maze that is Abcentric so to honor her - I am declaring today, Saturday June the 4th - VICTORIA DAY! (Victoria day is an actual holiday in Canada but it's sometime in May, let's not confuse the two)
Victoria, you have been an uber-inspiration and I could not have come this far without you. The fact that you survived two sprained ankles helps me believe that I too can get through this neck thing and see this program through to the end. (But I am not starting over at day 1 damn it, although I may actually have to begin level 8 again. You remember how absolutely horrific level 8 is don't you? Waaaaaaaaaa! oops, pity party, my bad)
I wanted to do something to honor you and your success. I gave it serious thought. But since Canada Post has an impending strike and I am totally poor, I knew I couldn't like - mail you a trophy or a blue ribbon or make you a cake or anything...
So I came up with this!
(I should note that this is not part of Metamorphosis, nor is it endorsed by Tracy, although I don't think she'd object.)
I know it's homemade and maybe just a little cheesy, okay a lot cheesy, but I personally think you should totally print it out, frame it and hang the damned thing on the wall, girl! Way to go, you have a lot to be proud of. Doesn't she have a lot to be proud of?
And!! And I think we should all do this for ourselves. We deserve recognition. In AA they get chips and medallions, when you run a race you get a ribbon. This program can be an absolute marathon, it is a lot like climbing a mountain, so should we too not plant a metaphorical stake in the the ground to say we made it? I say hell ya, we should. I'm going to. I'm gonna make my own certificate if, sorry WHEN, I finish this program and I'm going to celebrate.
So Victoria, I raise my glass of sparkling water in a toast to you, my friend. You're my hero, buddy! Enjoy your break before Continuity - and lemme add, thank the Lord that you are doing Continuity. Whew!
Big big hugs.
Shan
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