D130 Continuity - Curbing the bad habits.

Um so nobody bothered to mention when I listed my three simple rules for getting back on track  - that it's freakin' Halloween on Monday! Good God, really? Just as I am nicely starting to get my self-control in check where take out food is concerned, one of the biggest candy-oriented holidays of the year comes along!? Why does the universe hate me? 


Seriously though, Halloween is the day that kicks off a really long period of holiday binging for many people. Here in Canada, we had Thanksgiving earlier this month (and I got through it remarkably well, shockingly), but in the US, Thanksgiving is coming up... you guessed it, after Halloween, and it's followed by all the holiday parties, then Christmas and New Years. What are we supposed to do?


I remember (very vaguely) this time of year last year, before Metamorphosis came out, Tracy started posting little workout clips and diets, along with tips and tricks for surviving the holidays. Things like doing more cardio would help she said. Or eating less through the day if you know you'll be going to a party that evening. Filling up on sparkly water between mugs of beer and avoiding fruity cocktails. That's all good stuff to keep in mind, but what if you cannot say no to the sweet stuff? Raise your hand if you're guilty.


If you could see me right now both hands are raised.


Sweets are a lot of different things to a lot of different people. For some it's comfort on a bad day, a reward for a job well done, something used to celebrate, the end to a perfect meal, I for one have a really hard time going for long without something sweet. And I'm not alone. Perhaps that's why Tracy included her choco-chestnut pudding in her Dynamic Eating Plan.


I'll be the first to admit that I am covered head to toe in (figurative) bruises from falling off the diet wagon, but I do have a few tricks up my sleeve that have helped me in the past and I intend to put them to good use for the next few days (and months).


I think a key thing to tackle is that mentality that "this is all there is". For example, let's say you have a tub of Ben and Jerry's in the freezer. Some people can have a tiny bowl full and leave it at that. Others feel the need to consume the entire tub in one go (guilty again). But if we could just stop and remind ourselves that we can have more later if we wish, or have some tomorrow, or buy more when we run out, we might be less inclined to gobble it all up. Hard to do in the frenzy of PMS, I know.


Another helpful tip is to identify your Achilles heel. For me it's homemade chocolate chip cookies. OMG soooo good. I no longer bake them. I don't buy them in bulk. If I feel I absolutely must have one, I buy one. That's not always been the case, I'm a work in progress. If we allow ourselves to have the things we love and crave, then that feeling of deprivation has less power, or so the theory goes.


Next figure out what might satisfy that craving (read, turn it off) but won't throw you into a binge. Might a mug of hot chocolate do the trick? How about a pudding cup? My go to craving killers are frozen chocolate chips. They aren't as tasty as really good chocolate so I can keep them around without going overboard.


A tip I picked up from the book Naturally Thin was to shut off the craving by switching gears. If you really want a cookie, have one. But the second you feel like you might scarf down three or ten more, grab for something with a completely different flavor. Now this doesn't always work, especially if you reach for a bag of chips and you love those too. I did that once and ended up eating both in excess. Hey, nobody's perfect.


Now let's tackle Halloween. I don't have kids and my new building doesn't have many children, so I can get away with not buying a bunch of candy. But what if you have kids or are in a kid friendly neighborhood? You don't want to be known as Scrooge or the Halloween equivalent right? My best advice is to go to the store and look for the candy that you like the absolute least. Oh come on, you must remember being a kid and getting 'that' thing in your bag and trying to pawn it off on your little brother or sister. Candy corn anyone? I know it might not make you popular, but you've got a waistline to think about here people.


If you're off to a Halloween party this weekend and there's a buffet, remember it's okay to have a taste of the tempting stuff you like, but don't eat everything and try to fill up on raw fresh veggies while drinking plenty of sparkly water. 


Have a good weekend.
Shan

D129 - Still on level 8 Continuity

Grrrrr. So frustrated to be still spinning my wheels on level 8. But this flu is tenacious and I've just got to be patient and wait it out. Hopefully by tomorrow, I'll be right as rain. You gotta know it's bad when even I'm saying I miss cardio right? I will confess that I am pretty darned excited about word on the street that says Tracy's putting out a rebounder workout in November! OMG! My prayers have been answered. I love my mini trampoline and I had to fight 'he who shall not be named' to be able to bring it to Van. Our apartment is so tiny that there isn't anywhere to store it.

Which leads me to a question for all you apartment dwellers out there...

I had no worries in my little house, I could dance, jump, or bounce until my heart was content (or about to conk out) but now that I am living in a neighborhood with 45000 other people and am in an apartment with someone living below me... what do I do? How do you manage to get your cardio in without getting evicted or at the very least inciting the wrath of the person living beneath you? Please please please tell me the rebounder is much quieter and I will therefore never have to actually do DC again? Could that be true?

Do you just knock on your neighbor's door and say 'hey, I'm new and I dance?', hello? I don't want to be known as the building wing-nut! It's bad enough that I'm currently unemployed, don't wanna become homeless too. Plus my dog would totally hate living on the streets, he's way too pampered for that! So is my beloved for that matter.

Any tips you have would be hugely appreciated.

I have considered dropping into an actual (gulp) dance studio but at the moment I have to keep spending to an absolute minimum so what to do until then?

As for the three simple rules I've set up to follow diet-wise, I did pretty good yesterday, mostly because I have zero appetite, until 'he' brought home festive fall cupcakes all decorated in chocolate and orange icing with sprinkles, yes I said sprinkles! I ate 4. Is it any wonder my flu is hanging around? No one to blame but myself, I know, but they were so pretty. 

Interestingly though, something that keeps echoing through my foggy head is what my girl Andi said yesterday and that is: 'the body craves what you feed it.' Is she a genius or what? No doubt about it. I have been craving junky processed oil-laden garbage since I got here because that's what I've been feeding myself. I'm kind of over it now finally I think (touch wood). Too bad I had to wind up bed-ridden for it to happen but I'll take it if that's what gets me back in the game. I actually really enjoyed having a healthy home-cooked meal last night. Perhaps the evil takeaway spell has finally been broken.

To everyone out there who has reached their goal weight and is now working at maintaining it, and to those still working toward that goal, it's a challenge, but we can do it. One day, one meal, one food choice at a time. And speaking of one day at a time - we have need for a new food sponsor for Undercoverdieter. She's looking for someone to buddy up, so if anyone out there needs a partner, please touch base here so we can connect the two of you.

All my very best,
Shan

D128 - Reboot!

First let me apologize for being such a sketchy poster recently. Nothing in my life has any routine to it at the moment and I am a little out of my element. I can explain though, really I can.

Turns out I have 'dunlop' disease. Quite common for us Abcentrics, it's where your belly has "done lopped over yer belt". They even make special clothing for this condition, check it out!

And apparently in my case it's caused by Dietary Amnesia. That's when you forget that you can say no to huge servings, second helpings, fried foods, desserts and the like. Shut up! It is a real thing. Alright, so maybe I just made it up, but it's what seems to have happened to me as of late. 

I did promise that I was going to have a new plan in place by Monday. What day is it today? Wednesday? Crap I suck, but for realz now, I have had my ass handed to me on a bed sheet as I've been totally annihilated by a wicked little flu bug. So brutal. Not quite outta the woods yet, but at least I can sit up without barfing now. TMI? Yeah, sorry about that.

It has given me plenty of time to 1)Repent for eating so much takeaway. Turns out I've got a bit of an obsessive personality (like I didn't already know this, hello, type A here) so I may have gone slightly over-board with the pre-tox this weekend and that may have weakened my once pure digestive system. 
And 2) Come up with a plan to right my wrongs.

I mentioned in my last post that it was time to go back to Boot Camp. I didn't mean that quite as literally as it must have come off judging by some of your comments, what I meant was that I've got to sort of re-school my taste buds and get back into more strict habits until I feel a bit more in control.

First though, I want to share a few things with you. I apologize if I go seriously astray here, I still have a bad flu head, so bear with me, kay?

My life is in a crazy stressful time right now (likely why my immune system broke down) but honestly, I think everyone is always busy. I've said it many times, there's never a 'good' time to get on track, it's always somewhat inconvenient, you've just got to knuckle down and do it. Here's what Tracy has to say on the subject in an exert from her book:

Make a change instead of an excuse.

Taking care of our inner and outer beauty requires our focus and attention. And it can be time consuming, especially when we're working to change the effects of decades of unconscious behavior. A busy schedule is one of the most common excuses that people make for not taking care of themselves. 

Look around you. Who do you know that isn't too busy, jam-packed, over-scheduled? The food industry knows how harried you feel, and how that translates to mealtimes. But the quick and easy, ultra-convenient food choices (read: all the takeaway in my new neighborhood) like fast food and overly processed packaged foods , while they may seem like a perfect solution for overburdened schedules, are the opposite. They don't help you, they hurt you. Extra weight, that feeling of bloat that won't seem to go away, nutrient deficiency, higher blood pressure, heart disease - these are some of the near and far 'benefits' of convenience foods.

Eating poorly reflects clearly in the way you look and feel - and so does eating well.

Amen to that sister! I feel like death on a stick. Whatevah that means.
So what to do. I think it was my lovely reader Tricia (if it wasn't you hon, and it was someone else - I apologize to you both - again - flu head) who said there are tons of websites and articles etc that relate to weight-loss but so few talk about what to do once you've lost it. How do you maintain that new number on the scale or that new dress size?

Well, do the Method for starters. But what are we supposed to eat? I've fallen off the wagon enough times to know that I needed to stop doing that. And with the help of a couple of food sponsors and Bethenny Frankel's book Naturally Thin, I was well on my way to eating better. But between then and now, I've had a house full of relatives, then I picked my whole house up and moved it from an Island Paradise to an Urban Center - two completely different worlds and I am jobless, so my world feels all up side down. And a girl has got to eat her feelings after all, thus making the rules irrelevant and all common sense abandoned by the wayside. So again, while I am not going to go back to square one with an actual Boot Camp Diet, some of those same rules are going to need to be applied. 

There was a recent discussion where in Tracy answered many of our questions about the program and one in particular I found quite useful when putting together my plan.

The question went something like this...

What are the big principals behind the eating plan? I know the foundation is portion control, natural and real food, avoid food that causes allergies, but what more? (The question was bigger and asked about exercise as well, but since I'm sold on that, I just need help with food)

Here's what T had to say...

I work with leading Doctors and researchers in the world of nutrition. There are countless viewpoints, studies, and guidelines for many different results to you are what you eat. I have no interest in controlling food with my clients like I do controlling their focus for their exercise time. I have had to navigate thousands of women to lead better more empowered lives for 13 years now so I have seen the effects of dieting on women. I don’t believe in dieting all of the time and I don’t believe in using your diet alone to get the body you desire. Food is an emotional and essential part of our lives and happiness. I give many different styles of menus for people to have the tools they need to reach their goals.

I only want you dieting for weight loss purposes when you have weight to lose and are getting good at the cardio. Then come on lets live a balanced life but never get OUT of balance again because the method and exercise will be a part of your life. Then we can look at choices for health. Because I am giving menus to so many different people I take out the common factors that cause inflammation or weight gain for everyone. I never want you to repeat and repeat because we need all kinds of nutrition and I don’t believe in never having something again unless there is an intolerance. We also love certain foods for emotional reasons and long term restriction can cause emotional stress that can harm our health too. If you are on any of my menus and you are hungry I always ask for you to please have more of something that was on the menu that day. Stay focused as long as you can. It is also tough for many people to be able to chop and cook and work so I am always trying to develop support in many different ways so we can all be successful. My shake is something I am really proud. It provides a lot of nutrition with calorie control and also fights inflammation! 


So once we're at or near our goal weight, no more dieting. Okay, so how to get back on track? For me, right now, I am so out of whack, I couldn't possibly stick to a diet but I can implement a few rules. For simplicity, I am going to stick to the rules that Tracy outlines in her Dynamic Eating Plan.
1) Drink tons of sparkling or still water
2) Drink tea (herbal no sugar added)
3) No oils, salt, sugar (that one's debatable), spices, sauces or additional seasonings


That's it. Three wee rules. (Actually number three has more than one, but I'll let it go, I'm too weak to argue)
I also plan to avoid dairy as I am a total vegan wannabe anyway. And to limit those not perfect carbs like bread and pasta. If I want rice, I'm having it. If I need a hit of chocolate, I'll do that too, but I'll make sure it's dark chocolate and that it has nuts. Apparently the protein in the nut counteracts the sugar in the chocolate so it's better for blood sugar.

If you have some thoughts you'd like to add about what you're doing to maintain, or things I could do in addition to the above, don't be shy. I'd love to hear them.

From the flu bed...
Shan

D124 - L8 - Continuity

It's Day 5 of Level 8, halfway through and it's still total annihilation. It feels entirely uphill (or uphell!) but the most likely culprit is my stupid damned diet. Lordissa I've been so bad. I remember that once I finally knuckled down and did the Dynamic Eating Plan, I started to feel lighter, more flexible, and had slightly better range of motion. I was even sleeping better. Where's all of that now? Gone. A simple leg lift feels like I'm lifting a ton of bricks, it's no picnic I tell you. And I weighed in today - he he he - guess what? The old takeaway is finally taking its toll. Wondered how long I was gonna get away with it. I've gained 2 pounds and 6 ounces. And wow can I feel it!

It's not all my fault. I blame the city. Seriously. I was out for a very innocent stroll with the dog a couple of evenings ago and we were standing outside this Pizza restaurant. It's a chain I've been wanting to try but was able to resist thus far. My husbie on the other hand... not so much.

So while I waited outside with my dog, he ran in to fetch a slice. He returned with his slice and still my defenses were up. Then the owner came out to ask how everything was. Turns out he'd just taken over and he offered us more pizza - for FREE! (my 2lb 6ou weight gain suggests that nothing in this life is free but still...) I'm no saint, I had the pizza. Dammit. Oh come on! Like you could have resisted free pizza? I'm so sure. I'm telling you, Vancouver is where diets come to die. How depressing.

Does anyone remember when my blog was fun? When the good times were rolling? The weight was coming off, I was loving the workouts, had fun fat free food recipes to share? What's that? You don't remember those days? Were they all in my head? Looks like they'll be staying there for a bit longer. 

I hate to say this (those who know me, know I hate to) but it might be time to revisit some basic training. Ah yes, back to boot camp!

That sad, sorry-ass expression on Goldie's face says it all, doesn't it? Not quite certain how I am going to handle things yet and since I hate to over-promise and under-deliver, I'm gonna take the weekend to think it through (over wine and cheese and a bit of chocolate, and possibly some Indian food? Who am I kidding, there's gonna be a lot of chocolate. It's the Pretox.)

But in the mean time, how about a nice recipe, hmm? Something fun and fab? This is in noooooooo way Tracy approved, so for those of you currently on the strict, straight and narrow - look away.

This is a variation on the traditional Banana Bread and it comes from my dear friend Ashlee, whom I am missing very much at the moment. Thanks for this Ash, I'll think of you each time I indulge.

Chocolate Zucchini Loaf 
(let's pretend that the zucchini makes it healthy, kay?)
Now this isn't a hard and fast recipe, she didn't actually give me real directions so you'll just have to wing it - that's how we roll, peeps, deal with it.

Igredients:
1 1/2 Cup shredded raw zucchini
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp ground coffee (this could be optional)
1 cup flour
2 eggs
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup oil (she likes olive, I prefer safflower)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar 
(I prefer to simply use 1 cup cane sugar, you can use what you've got in the house)
1/2 cup cocoa powder


I toss everything into a large mixing bowl and blend it well, then pour it into a lightly greased baking loaf pan and tuck into a 350 degree preheated oven for 50 to 55 minutes.

Once it's cool enough to not scald the roof of your mouth, you can enjoy the heck out of it with your favorite Starbucks beverage. Whoops, I mean a warm cup of herbal tea!


Enjoy the weekend and wish me luck on coming up with a plan to get fully back on track without bursting into tears over having to give up my takeaway. I don't wanna give up my takeaway. Boo.

xo
Shan
 

Metamorphosis and Continuity Review/Preview

How's it going out there? Are you covered in Fairy Dust? (AKA sweat) Are you hip to all the TAM Lingo? If you've been here before or to Tracy's site, or any of the other blogs, sites or forums dedicated to the Method then you've no doubt read things like DC, MS, TAM or META, (dance cardio, muscular structure, Tracy Anderson Method, and Metamorphosis respectively). It's pretty easy to catch on to. But what about the workout or the diet? I'm sure you've read countless reviews both positive and negative from people who either love it or hate it but how do you know if it's right for you?

If you've got weight issues, it's for you. If you just want to tone, it's for you. If you've tried a million other workout trends and think you're just too old or that your metabolism has kicked the bucket... guess what? The Method could be for you. At least it was and is for me. Don't get me wrong, I have both love days and hate days as regular readers can attest to, but it's worked for me like nothing has.

I'm not posting today to give you the entire breakdown of what the workouts consist of or what you can expect to eat or how much time you'll need to commit, for that you can go here or check out the rest of my blog. No today is more of a what's to come once you've started down the path of Metamorphosis and Continuity. What I can tell you is that she isn't just another celeb flogging their latest fitness craze that's bound to crash and she isn't just some fitness genie who promises three wishes and in the end fails to deliver. Tracy is a seriously badass fitness guru. Lemme tell you people, I am on level 8 of continuity and it's killing me. Sure, I've complained in previous posts that this new level or that new level has left me feeling like I'd been kicked in the ribs or barely able to walk, but if all previous levels (I'm on Abcentric btw) felt like I was forced into a girdle, four days into this level and I feel like I've been forced into a corset! Just so you know, she ain't fooling around. This business of changing it up every ten days really has something to it.

I'm not much into social media. I don't follow anyone on twitter, I don't have a facebook page or myspace or any of that, just my wee blog to keep me accountable and touch base with others on the same journey, so when my girl Janice sent me some info on what's to come from Tracy's Facebook page, I thought wow, this is good stuff to know! And if I'm feeling that way, chances are there's someone else out there who might have the same reaction.

For some it's enough to know that every ten days you're going to do a new muscular routine and some cardio for three months and that's it, they're done. For others they want to carry on but wonder why they can't just repeat different centrics on the Metamorphosis program? I have no good reason why you shouldn't and the lovely and dedicated V is doing exactly that and seeing terrific results, she's dropped 30 pounds on her way through three different body types. Way to go buddy! But for those curious about Continuity and what it's all about it might be nice to know that there is, in fact, more in store than just more challenging mat moves, or bonus arms or new cardio, right? So the following is a breakdown of what's in store  - if I knew who to credit I would credit you, all I know is that my pal Janice found it on Tracy's page. 

Metamorphosis and Continuity Breakdown

 

The Tracy Anderson Custom Transformation Program will give you access to Tracy teaching and provide you a customized step-by-step workout by home. Since this is a targeted approach, your problem areas will be eliminated faster than with other workouts. This is not just a DVD series; this is a lifestyle program and will require dedication.

Below outlines each of the steps along the way as well as items you need such as a workout ball, mats, etc. Most of these items are available in the store, hand picked by Tracy just for you.

METAMORPHOSIS: MONTHS 1–3

Metamorphosis is the beginning of your transformation. Once you have identified your body type, you will begin this 90-day program.

Equipment Needed: Yoga mat, 3-pound hand weights

CONTINUITY 1.1: MONTHS 4–6

This is designed to build on the fundamentals you have learned and excelled at in Metamorphosis. Included in Continuity 1.1 I a new dance cardio DVD as well as a bonus section of extra arm exercises that you can do to add to help tone your arms.

Equipment Needed: Yoga mat, 3-pound hand weights, sand-filled ankle and wrist weights are optional.

CONTINUITY 1.2: MONTHS 7–9

Continuing to build on your success in Metamorphosis and the first level of Continuity, this next level adds a challenge with using ankle weights to really make the most of the half an hour of muscular structure work. Additionally, there is another new cardio disc with more complicated sequences, and is 30 minutes long, challenging your cardio stamina.

Equipment Needed: Yoga mat, 3-pound hand weights, sand-filled ankle and wrist weights.

CONTINUITY 1.3: MONTHS 10–12

This level of continuity is the final 3 months of your first year. As an additional challenge, there is an inflatable ball that is used during muscular structure. This will not only challenge your balance and your core stability, but it will also ensure that you are hitting the correct angles in your leg lifts. There is also an additional instructional video on the ball as well as a new cardio disc that is 45 minutes long.

Equipment Needed: Yoga mat, 3-pound hand weights, sand-filled ankle and wrist weights, inflatable ball
CONTINUITY 2.1: MONTHS 13–15

Beginning year 2 of your transformation, this program is very advanced and builds on all of hard work and progress you have had over the past 12 months. The muscular structure work involves continued use of the ball, but also uses a dining room chair. While the muscular structure work is quite a challenge, the cardio component introduces you to a new kind of cardio. The cardio in this level uses a mini trampoline. If you need to first familiarize yourself with the mini trampoline, please check out Tracy’s Tel Aviv trampoline series, available for free on the GoTracy YouTube channel.

Equipment Needed: Yoga mat, 3-pound hand weights, sand-filled ankle and wrist weights, dining room chair, inflatable ball, mini trampoline.

Pretty cool huh? Told you she wasn't just another fitness genie. She's really shaped something special (including this 40-year-old bod.) 
Enjoy and have a great weekend.
xo
Shan

Level 8 Continuity.

Okay so I realize that because I am on day 122 of the first set of Continuity I should be way further along than I am. In my defense, my house was quite literally taken over for nearly three weeks, and then it was completely taken apart and moved to a whole new world. Forgive me for falling behind? Pretty please with a cherry on top?

Hope so because I am back on track(ish) and ready for more.

Yesterday was Tuesday and while still not entirely unpacked or settled into the new place, I decided that Tuesday was a great day to begin again so I started fresh with Level 8. But I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Allow me to go back.

I've been sucking. I mean to tell you that I am a slacker. Even tho circumstances have not been ideal to work out, I coulda started earlier than Tuesday. Seriously. It all really began to fall apart in September, the 14th to be exact. It took me 21 days to complete level 6 and that was before my house filled up. It should have only taken 11 (slacker). Level 7 was a bit of a joke too. 27 days! I'm so ashamed. Not really, but it sounds so much more dramatic. Still I am a little bummed that my progress has slowed to a crawl. 

During the past 10 days, I hadn't done much but pack and clean, unpack and clean, oh yeah, and eat! Did I mention that I've been eating like a crazy person! I am overwhelmed with all the choices of take out food available in my new neighborhood and love love love takeaway. Did I mention that I love takeaway? Because I totally looooooovvve takeaway. I've had Indian and Thai, pizza on more than one occasion, falafel and flax wraps, and more pizza and subway, not to mention Italian. Oh I let the good times roll alright, but I was feeling it, lemme tell you. I was quickly becoming a bloated and miserable version of my formerly fit self. I decided when I woke up on Sunday morning that it was time to face the music. Time to get out the nasty measuring tape and step on the ole scale and sign in to report my transgressions.


To my utter shock and amazement.... the scale had not budged. Like not even by an ounce. So I felt sure that it must be that whole muscle to fat ratio thing right? Like, they say muscle weighs more than fat so naturally I'd just lost all my muscle and turned to fat so my measurements were going to be off the charts. I was afraid, terrified even, but bravely, I stepped up to the mirror with my tape measure. I thought, may as well dive in, so I wrapped that puppy around my waist only to find that I'd lost a quarter of an inch. What the hell? Either the fitness gods are smiling down on me or they're totally fucking with me and I'm gonna get it later. All this fast food has got to catch up with me no? Who cares! I spent the whole of Sunday unpacking and eating cheese cake. I kid you not. It was like I'd just gotten away with murder so went out and killed again. Are you kidding me? Who does that?


Apparently moi...

With the majority of the packing out of the way, I now have no excuse. So Tuesday I got back into the game. I'd half-heatedly considered redoing level 7, but just decided to push forward and dive into level 8. 

All I can say is... I am hurting today. It's a great level with some quirky hip lifts and torso twisting ab-busting moves. It incorporates the use of your arms and shoulders and is a little bit hard on my neck, but over-all I liked it. There are a few editing snafus - like two types of music playing over one another for the last two minutes and Tracy forgetting that she'd moved on to the left, but that just all adds character for me. I can dig it. Hey, if this woman can whip me into shape and keep me that way for well over a month while I literally stop working out and indulge all of my dining-out fantasies, well then I say she can mess up in the sound editing department all she wants, I can still follow along. Love you Tracinator!


The plan is to get through this next level in the appropriate time allotted and get back into the saddle for realz! Had Starbucks for breakfast so it's not looking great, but there's always tomorrow. Am on the other side of the move now so am cautiously optimistic and looking forward to more pain and punishment from the badass fitness guru! Now all I need to do is find a job. Gulp!

Cheers,
Shan

D112 - L7 Two More Days!!

I was very skeptical about posting my "quitter's" post the other day. I felt terrible and didn't want to bring anyone down, but at the same time, my blog is me trying to be accountable and honest about everything I come up against on this program.

Sooo glad that I did put it out there because some of the things that came back from you were just the right amount of tough love/gentle persuasion that I really needed. It's almost as if I can hear your voices in my head (seriously I am not really hearing voices, most of the time). And while I said yes to the champagne during Thanksgiving/Anniversary dinner last night, I was able to stay away from the cake so I felt a small victory dance was in order.

I did that on the mat this morning (I'll admit it was somewhat reluctantly, but it got done). While I moved through my workout I kept thinking about what you said about letting Tracy's Method ground me. Yoga was such a stabilizing force in my life, there's no reason that the Method cannot be the same. It'll have to be because it's all happening! We found a place and we're moving at the end of the week. Lordissa, I am not entirely prepared for all of the packing and craziness that comes with a move, but one thing I know for sure is this...

I am taking that next step toward being more myself and am incredibly grateful that you're all managing to do the same thing from your small corner of the world right along with me. Thanks for kicking my butt back on track. And thanks to our little badass fitness guru, Tracy - I really love you girl!

Look at that devilish smile and glow! She just makes you want to make her proud and go that extra mile, so...
 
In the spirit of going the extra mile, I tackled bonus arms 6 this morning. While I am not as gobsmacked over them as I was BA5, they were still pretty cool and it means that I am nearly caught up. By then end of this DVD (which will be like completing Metamorphosis for the second time) I will be right where I am supposed to be! Hooray and hallelujah!

Onwards and upwards, People.
xo
Shan

Whaaat day is it??!

Hey guys,
I wondered if this might happen. Did you think it might? What the hell are you talking about, you're asking? I'm saying that I've hit my first serious wall. Anybody who has watched the Biggest Loser or trained for a marathon will know what I am talking about. You feel as though you have physically (or mentally) smacked into a brick wall and just cannot go any further.

I've been on forced hiatus for over two weeks, then the stress of an impending move makes it nearly three weeks and now it's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. I have to fit packing up my whole house into my last days of work. Fuck Socks!

I wanna be fat! It's easier (no it isn't, but it is sort of) I'm tired, I'm scared and I feel a little bit old and achy and let's face it I have been at this for 8 straight months. A year is a long time and I don't want to play anymore. I realize that this isn't some big ole life altering experience like: "I've run off to India to find myself and have left my family and all worldly possessions behind and now I want to go home." It's just a silly little exercise program.

But I don't feel like thinking about my expanding waistline, much less reporting it. I don't want to worry about calorie consumption or squeezing in a workout ever again. I'd prefer to be a crazy shut-in who writes letters to my dog.
(I'm only half serious, okay, nobody panic!)

The other side of this coin is...

FAT PANTS.

Nobody wants that, do they? I mean cookies are nice. OMG cookies! I remember them. Haven't baked any in forever. It's a real toss up.
Cookies....
Fat Pants.
Cookies...
Fat Pants.

Please nobody tell me to take more time off. I know that's the last damned thing I need to do. What I need to do - and this goes for all 'a y'all who are feeling this same way - dig deep! Go back to why I started this in the first place. (Umm, so I'd have something to write about, duh!) and push through that stupid wall. 

Here's the thing, if I can't push through it I'll have to go around it. If there is no way around, go over, if it's too high, get out a shovel and dig. Dig for all I'm worth, you do it to. We must be able to get under it if we can't go over or around, right?

So am in the middle of my last 12 hour shift here at the airport, so am in no danger of breaking a nail tackling the wall at the moment, but at the end of the day... there's just no getting away from it.

I have committed to doing this for a year (like the Italians have always said: Idiota!) so I intend to see it through. 

I am not writing this to say "poor me, I can't do it." And I am certainly not looking for sympathy or to bring anyone down - what I am saying is that the road ain't always smooth going. Sure it's just a silly workout program, I am not trying to save the world or cure cancer or create peace. I'm one woman with a small simple goal, to improve the quality of my life and self esteem through a workout program. I am not alone. Neither are you. Sometimes it's fun. But sometimes it is actually kinda tough.

It's those times we have to put our noses to the grind stone and just work through it. 

Since it is Thanksgiving I want to share that I am grateful for the Method, grateful Tracy has made it so accessible and I am truly grateful that I can come here and share stuff with you and that most of the time, you all just "get it." Thanks for that.

xo
Shan

D105 - L7 - Continuity

Cheese is a demon and I've been possessed!

What the hell? I thought I had this licked and then I go and make one simple life-altering decision to uproot my family and entire life and move to a city where I know virtually no one and have zero job leads, so I'm quite literally freaking out and what happens??!?

Cheese. Bloody cheese. Havarti, Monterrey Jack, Gouda, Brie, Cheddar... Lordissa don't even get me started on the bread!

Ah yes, musings from the mind of madness. Have I never told you that I'm not really crazy? I'm just severely artistic. I haven't had the tools to cope with scary stuff so I ate. But that was before the Badass Fitness Guru came along. Between her and Bethenny Frankel I totally thought I was in the clear, in complete control.

Ha ha ha, guess what girls? So not in control. And you want to know what's worse? Do you remember my newest weakness - my Sweet Maui Onion potato chips that were completely unavailable in Canada? Yeah, not so much! My co-worker tells me about a month ago that she saw them in a vending machine two towns away. Never quite forgot that little piece of information. Wanna know what I did yesterday?

(she hangs her head in shame as she types) 

I took a little road trip didn't I? Oh yessiree - those Sweet Maui Onion chips didn't stand a chance. And then there were the Pringles. Can I blame that one on 'he who shall not be named'? Because he bought them and brought them into our house. He did! Stop judging. 

I haven't mentioned my food sponsors, you notice that? That's because I haven't called on them. Cheese is a demon, I'm telling you. It wouldn't let me call. 

The truth is that I had a wee panic attack yesterday and it went down hill from there. The wine helped. Feeling much better today which is why I can confess all of this. I won't make the mistake of thinking that I am totally out of the woods with my dietary habits but am having tofu soup for lunch if that tells you anything.

My one saving grace is that I have been doing my workout. (okay not cardio, so shoot me) But I did tackle bonus arms level 5. Yeah yeah, alright, I am a little behind on the bonus arms but nevertheless - this level is my favorite so far. It's the most Ballet-like arm workout yet. It's slow and precise, graceful yet tough. Can't wait for you to try it. Anyone out there working the bonus arms? What do you think about them?

Wanna talk about it over a Starbucks? They sell cheese there now, you know. Kidding. (Not really)

(Cheese is a demon I tell you and bread is its minion!)

Cheers,
Shan

D103 - L7 - Continuity - NEWS.

It's Saturday. Today's the first day in a long time where I didn't have a list of obligations the length of my arm so I'd planned to sleep late. My beloved came in to say good-bye before he left for work and was surprised to find me lying in bed awake. With a smile, I responded that I was sleeping in, but that I wanted to be awake so I could enjoy it. He thought that was a fitting way to live life in general. And I cannot think of a better segue into this next post. We've got to be awake to enjoy life - and that's kinda what I want to talk about.

I have a feeling that this is gonna be a long one so if you need to pee, better run and do that, or grab a cup of tea and nestle in, I've missed you. I also want to preface this post with a warning... it will be candid. I can be hard on myself. But I am also kind too and it comes with a happy ending. Hope that didn't spoil anything for you.

Last year when I heard that Tracy Anderson was coming out with a book I was so greedy to get my hands on it. I loved her mat work and wanted more. Who wouldn't, it was a work of pure genius. A workout you could enjoy doing, who knew? Deciding to blog about it was a big deal because for the most part I am a loner and (you'd never know it from reading here but...) quite a private person. I don't make friends easily and didn't really have anyone close to me to share this 30 Day Challenge with so  - Mastering the Method was born. Since then we've been on this journey together through Metamorphosis, the ups, the downs, the successes and challenges, the drudgery and elation, and the sheer madness that comes with undertaking a project like Tracy Anderson's Method. And now here we are all these months later on day 103 of Continuity.

I was standing at the verge of a midlife crisis - which I am not entirely convinced is over quite yet, in fact this may just be the beginning but... here we go. When a man turns 40 there may be some angst, but I don't think it hits men in quite the same way it hits us girls. Maybe I'm wrong, I'm no guy. As I stared down the barrel of the gun that is 40 I looked back on my life and pondered my achievements as well as my failures and I wanted to do something. To take something on. Climb my personal Everest if you will. And this workout presented the perfect opportunity. I came, I saw, I achieved. It had been a long time since I'd done something that I was really proud of, those of you who've graduated Meta know of what I speak. Those of you just starting your journey or that are well on your way, hang in there, the end is so worth it.

Having my family around for the past few weeks presented new challenges all their own. While I could not ever be blessed with better parents or inlaws, it was tough just the same to have to step away from all I'd been working on with the Method and my blog and this year-long quest that I've committed to. It wasn't that I thought I was a failure in taking all that time off, it was more that it wasn't my choice. I had to let go. I had to detach and that has always been a weakness for me, just going with the flow doesn't come easy for us type-A personalities. But I managed not to implode. I enjoyed some of the mashed potatoes and pasta dinners laden with cheese and bread and all the "bad" stuff, but in the end I sort of just wanted to get back to my more simpler way of eating. Convincing myself to get back on the mat has been more difficult than I'd anticipated, but I'm getting back into the old routine and am in mucho pain. Thanks Tracy, knew I could count on you.

But that's not really what I wanted to share with you. Having your family around you can bring up old issues, can press buttons, but having mine around gave me  time away from working out and allowed for some serious time to think about my life and what I wanted from it.

If you've read much of what's on here, you may already know that Gretchen Rubin is one of my many heroes. She wrote the amazing book The Happiness Project and she came up with personal commandments, the first of which is to Be Gretchen. In that same vein I created the Shamandments, naturally the first of which is to Be Shannon. But that's not always as simple as it sounds, know what I mean?

Have you ever met some fabulous new person and found them to be terrifically magnetic and charismatic and into something that is utterly cool and fascinating, yet something you'd never ever want to do? Yet somehow you find yourself thinking maybe you should take that thing up too - like say you meet a surfer and hear of all their wild adventures fighting the waves all over the world and you suddenly find yourself on a Billabong site looking for surf gear - yet you know that you're terrified of water? Okay, maybe it's just me but I've been there. A lot. There are days when I truly want to be anyone but me. And it's not like I expect that I should have become this huge success in my life by now, but rather I'd like not to feel like such a failure. Yes, completing Metamorphosis helped me feel like less of a failure, but for someone who is trying to be more herself, (if I were really trying), I would be doing more.

You see I am a screenwriter. Yes, you can read about it in my little blip about me, or you can google me and find my Writer's CV, but I've yet to be produced. I wish I didn't want to write screenplays - I wish I wanted to write a novel. Not saying that is easier but at least it doesn't take a village of people to get a book published - where as it does take a village to get a movie made. I'm not trying to be all Debbie-downer here - really I'm not. But the other day I caught a glimpse of my face in the rear-view mirror of our truck and thought "Ugh, I am sick of that face." Sounds pathetic, I know. For someone who's all about being yourself and loving yourself and believing that we're all uniquely beautiful, how can I then turn around and say I don't want to even look at my own face? Am I a hypocrite? Perhaps, but maybe there's more to it. I had to dig deeper. (Don't you just hate when that happens?)


It wasn't so much my face that I was sick of looking at, but more the despair behind my big old brown eyes. The underlying unhappiness I felt with where I was in my life. Writing this blog has given me great satisfaction. I am able to write and even more importantly, be read. I love that. It feeds my soul that someone somewhere out in the world relates. Is moved. Laughs or cries. That I can make somebody feel something, even if it's just "less alone" on the road to getting in shape. But I am still not fulfilled. Who is responsible for that? Me. Who can change it? Me. I'm the only one. Just like you are the only one who can ultimately love yourself. If you don't feel beautiful, you can be on top of the world and still hate yourself. Just look at Portia De Rossi. She seemingly had it all, hit TV show, cosmetics contracts, and beneath it all she felt fat and ugly. At the end of the day, Portia was the only one who could save her own life. I am the only one who can save mine.


If I'm a screenwriter then I have got to be that with all I've got. I have to be Shannon. I have just about as much chance of making it as that guy on the beach with the surfboard has of going pro. The odds are stacked against both of us, but the difference between me and him is that at least he's where the waves are. Where am I? I'm in MFN. (Middle of F@%*ing nowhere). Seriously there are days where I think if my ship ever came in, I would literally be at the airport. Funny thing is, that's where I have been, working at an airport for crying out loud! To really honor that screenwriter inside of me, I have to leave my private little paradise. I've got to say goodbye to my little cottage by the sea and move to the city where I at least have a chance of getting on a TV show or of rubbing elbows with other people in the film industry.


Don't get me wrong, I'm not picking up stakes and leaving the country for Hollywood. (Be Shannon, remember? Shannon is just not that brave.) But after serious consideration I had a choice to make. Try to be something else other than a screenwriter or move to where the work is. I've racked my brain kids and I cannot imagine what else I'd rather do - so...


My address will be changing. My beloved and I are moving to Vancouver. The decision has been made and the wheels are in motion.


So to up the stakes on my own personal journey of getting and staying fit as a new way of life, I will attempt to completely uproot my entire life, move it literally over the ocean (okay I am being dramatic, but it's still true), start from scratch with finding a new place to live and a new job and still tackle my daily workouts, make wise food choices and keep in touch with y'all. Because that's life. There isn't ever a good time for change, there isn't ever a perfect time to get started, you just gotta do what you gotta do and I'd never forgive myself if I gave up too early. So until I feel that I can walk away from screenwriting, I simply can't walk away. Instead, I'm gonna walk toward it.


You've got to be awake to enjoy life and I've been sleepwalking through mine for long enough. You feel me?

Shan