Out On A Limb.

Hey you guys, happy Saturday! Hope you're all having a great weekend. I can hardly believe that it's the 19th already! Wow. 

Today is somewhat significant for me because it marks another 90 days under my belt of living sugar free. When I first made the choice to go without sugar, I choose 90 days because that was the longest I had ever managed to go without sweets in my life and it was 8 long years ago. 

Once I hit the 90-day mark in October, I wasn't ready to face the fact that this might be a "rest of my life" type of scenario so some of you gently suggested that perhaps I try for another 90 days. Done! Thanks for that.

With 180 days without sweets under my belt, I feel like I want to stop counting. I have been tempted several times over this past 90 days to just try a little chocolate or have a bite of a cookie. Lordissa how I wanted a cookie over Christmas, but I resisted. I have stretched the rules a little and have had tea with sugar. It didn't send me on a bender and interestingly I add much less per cup than I ever have before. So I am okay with that. I feel okay having hot beverages, like my Starbucks Mocha or a cup of tea with a bit of sugar. It doesn't open the flood gates. I may just be off the sweets for good now.

There isn't really more to say on the subject than that. I have a strong attraction to sweet treats but my chosen lifestyle is to go without them. That's it. It's been hard and it's sometimes still tough, but I know how I want to live and how I want to feel and I feel best when I am not obsessing over the dessert menu.

Now... I am really going to climb out on the skinny branches here and be perfectly honest. A while back I started a series of posts called the Maintenance Series wherein we discussed various tips and tricks we could use to maintain our desired weight once we achieved it. Many of us were disappointed and maybe even a little surprised that there wasn't more written on this subject. We are bombarded weekly with the latest diet fads or new workout crazes, there is never a shortage of the "lose the weight fast" gurus popping up all over the place, but there are not very many people telling us how to keep the weight off once we lose it.

First I think it's because so many of these programs that crop up don't give lasting results because they don't teach us how to change our lifestyles. So once off the program the results are almost impossible to retain. But I think the real reason we don't see more on maintenance is because it isn't sexy or splashy or newsy and because it is so individual. And at its very heart it's rather simple. There is no magic formula. You have to change your habits and you have to do the work. It isn't necessarily what we want to hear once we've worked so tirelessly to lose the weight. We might want to skate or coast for a bit, but if we want to keep our results, we can't. Period.

I haven't found much new to say about it myself. I can tell you over and over again what worked for me and how I am doing it daily. But you already know how I did it. It's nothing new. So that sort of explains why there haven't been many updates in the Maintenance Series. But you may have also noticed that there hasn't been too terribly much of anything here lately.

And that's because I feel almost like I've said all I can say about the Tracy Anderson Method, my midlife weight gain, and the struggle to accept myself as I am growing older.

My new years resolution this year is to love myself. To do that, I can't keep bitching about everything that's wrong with me or how getting old sucks or how it's so much work to keep the spare tire at bay. I have to keep my focus trained on all that's good with me. But writing about that just feels... wrong. I can't really explain it.

I have always tried to make the effort to see the glass half-full, to consistently remind us that we're climbing a mountain here, that we're running a marathon, in other words we are not in this health game for the short term. It's a lifestyle. You know that, I've been drilling it into you since I started this little blog.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I think you might all freak out a little bit if I suddenly go all Pollyanna on your ass, you feel me? I'm not all - yay I am so happy with my body and my life and everything is so perfect now -- not at all by any stretch of the imagination -- but what I am is grateful. But I am not sure I am into writing a gratitude journal for public consumption. Do you see what I mean about out on a limb?

What I am trying to say is that I don't quite know what to write about here at the moment. So let me put it another way.

Is there something you want to talk about? Is there a subject that you feel you want to create some discourse on? Do you have questions about the Method? About hitting 40? About the truth or lies of the middle age spread? About your value as a woman in the world? About faith, hope, aspirations? I love this community. You've all grown to be such a valued part of my life, so many of you I consider my friends though we've never met and half of you I have never even laid eyes on. 

I think you're incredible. Each of you beautiful in your own unique ways with your own brilliant insights and perspectives on the things being said here. You matter to me, each and every single one of you, even those of you who never comment. I am always in your corner!

I want to continue to share with you and to grow with you. But I am shifting my awareness and some of the things that mattered so deeply to me - like having abs -- are no longer my primary focus. I have them. Or at least as good as I am going to get without doing hours of cardio every week and eating nothing but kale. I love cheese and bread and coffee and I appreciate great food and wine. I gave up sugar. I can live without it. Nothing more needs to be said there unless you have questions.

So what do you want to know? What do you want to discuss? What would help you be less of a hateful meanie to yourself and love yourself more? If I can help I want to.

In the meantime, my wonderful friend Stephanie send me this picture today and I just had to share it with you. She came across it while walking her dog near her home in Toronto. 

 
It expresses exactly where I want to take our relationship next. And by our relationship -- I mean mine and yours noble reader. What can I give you? What do you need from me? How can I help? How can we help each other to love and appreciate ourselves and each other more? Without going all Pollyanna on ourselves.

Change is afoot my lovelies and I'd like it if we could change and grow together. Let's make 2013 the best year we've ever had... ever!

Love,
Shan

PS 
I am always happy to talk shoes and Oscar films and all things Tracy Anderson! Always.