Have a 'Lil Faith.

Have you ever wondered how big a role faith plays in your day to day life and the goals you set for yourself? I'm not talking about religious faith. I'm talking about that "if you believe it's possible, it will be possible" kind of faith.

It's awards season (for film and television) so I have been hungrily consuming all of the nominated films (in case you were wondering where the hell I've been?!) and watching all the round-table interviews. I'm always reminded of some of my favorite acceptance speeches. Without fail, they always seem to look into the camera with a glistening tear that threatens to tumble down their perfectly made-up cheek and say "don't stop dreaming, you can have this too if you don't give up".

Until a few months ago, while I love this idea of having a dream and clinging to it in a white-knuckle death grip, I'm not sure that I actually believed that it was possible. I think I may have lacked the faith in myself. If you've been reading along with my ramblings for a while, you'll likely be aware of my New Year's resolution to love myself. January's resolution or virtue as I call it was celebration and I did my best this month to celebrate the little victories and appreciate the happinesses that I experience throughout each and every day instead of wasting time on the crap that bugs me and the headlines that break my heart. Which is also why I grew wary of posts about my muffin top and love handles and how un-perfect I may still be.

You see here's the thing. I believe that I experienced an inner transformation. Nothing totally earth shattering, yet something significant enough that it took literal years to happen.

As my thirties gained momentum and I began staring down the barrel of the big Four-Oh, and my ass was falling and my waist was spreading and my pant size was increasing and I was feeling more and more miserable... I knew something had to be done. I started swinging kettle bells and doing P90-x and the Biggest Loser, yet nothing could stop it. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. Then of course you all know what happened next. I write about it ad nauseam, I started practicing the Tracy Anderson Method, I lost 19 pounds, I gained 9 back, I ate this, I stopped eating that, I yo-yoed around a bit, I got fed up with Continuity and spent the summer revisiting Metamorphosis and basically I got my groove back, just like Stella! Well kind of. I had to sacrifice one of my favorite things. I gave up sugar in July.

There was only one way to do it, I had to have faith that I was capable of doing it. By September I also had to give up the huge battle that was constantly being waged within me and that was the battle for the perfect number on the scale. I let that go. I realized that my body had a number that it wanted to be at that kept me in my skinny jeans that I didn't have to kill myself to maintain. In other words, I decided to trust my body and have faith that it knew what it was doing.

It was a pretty big aha moment. I'd already had faith in my chosen workout. I loved the method, it did what it said it was going to do and once I cut out sugar, the rest of my body seemed to catch up. I'm not ripped, or super thin, or perfect, but I am happy to dwell within the body that Tracy and I created and I have faith that I can keep this up well into my old age if I want to.

Since then, my body has been really cooperative. I stepped on the scale two weeks ago and was up a pound and a half from that goal weight, so I shifted a few things around diet-wise and was back at that weight again a week later. There have been weeks at a time where I have been resting as much as 3 pounds below it, but I wasn't killing myself to stay their either.

If you're one of the many women who are facing those middle years and it seems that it's nothing but a struggle, if you really are working out and are sincerely watching what you eat, I know it's really hard, but just try and have a little faith that it's going to happen for you. Perhaps you need to have a look at your expectations and adjust them slightly. Maybe the workout you're doing isn't quite the right one for you, or maybe the foods you're eating are not the right ones for your body - things like gluten and dairy are hot topics for a reason.

And in the mean time, if you made the resolution to lose some weight this year, to maintain your current weight, or to simply adopt a healthier lifestyle, it's time to check in and take stock. It's January 31st people. Real life has kicked back in. are you still putting into practice all the things you said you were going to?

My chosen virtue for February is clarity. With my new found appreciation for my unique voice and its value in the world (I am still struggling with it a little, but having faith that the belief will come) I will be looking for some clarity on how to best use it. You're welcome to join me in seeking some clarity in your own life in whatever area you think needs attention for you.

Tracy and Gwyneth seem to be doing the same. Goop has put out a great question and answer post with Tracy that you might want to check out here and it includes a great little video of Tracy showing us some new moves from the set where she's been filming some new content. For your convenience you can watch it right here.



I'd been considering stopping my Continuity order. I have so much content already and am lagging behind, so I've put it temporarily on hold, but seeing how fantastic she looks... I may not be able to stay away. Lol.

Enjoy this last day of January. Look for something to admire or appreciate and let yourself be happy. You deserve it.

Big hugs,
Shan

Weekend Wisdom

For anyone doubting their greatness, I give you this brilliant sentiment.

Have a terrific weekend.
Love,
Shan

Change Your Mind.

Hi Guys,
How's it going? Hope you're all having a very pleasant day and if you're not, I wonder what could be done to reframe your thoughts about it, to maybe salvage at least some part of it.

If you're at work and you just feel like telling everyone around you to "Suck it!", perhaps thinking about enjoying a nice glass of wine with dinner tonight might be the thing that changes the tone slightly and allows you to derive at least some pleasure, if only for the briefest of moments.

Ah, but drinking isn't going to solve the problem in the long run. If you find yourself in a funk for any number of reasons... You're sweating your ass off at the gym and eating like a sparrow, yet still you can't get the weight off... You find that you're constantly in a fight with your beloved, you get so angry at them that every time you open your mouth you feel like you have Tourette's because you just want to swear at them... You have to drag yourself out of bed each morning because going to work and facing all those dumb-asses that you work with is killing you slowly one day at a time... You swore that today was the day you were going to quit smoking as you light up another cigarette and you realize that you've been saying that for ten years and what's the use? And on and on and on...

What are you going to do if not turn to drink? 

How about a lil Meditation? No! I did not say medication I said meditation. Ah crap who has time and who even knows how and what's meditation going to do for me anyway? I've got better things to do that sit around Om-ing all day long!

Fine! Stop reading then. I'm not going to force you!






Still here? Good. Then zip it will ya! You're interfering with my good vibe here.

I have been extremely fortunate over the years to cross paths with a number of terrific meditation teachers from various schools of thought on the subject and I really can say with all confidence that there is a style of meditation to suit every different temperament. Finding the style that suites you is a little like finding the right workout. How many of us went through a severely promiscuous fitness craze before we found The Tracy Anderson Method. Yikes. P90x was never going to be for me, but I just liked Tony Horton so much. Loved that guy.

In the same way you might absolutely love the idea of chanting Om over and over again, yet find that in reality repeating Om does not stop your crazy-pants mind from running amok and thinking about the kids' homework or the fridge that desperately needs to be cleaned or the laundry piled high behind the door or that dick at work who just gets under your skin till you don't care what prison food tastes like because at least you'll have access to a free gym and that bastard won't be there to bother you any more and.... see? Om isn't for everyone. But it might work for someone.

One of my favorite Yoga teachers, an Israeli teacher I met in the Bahamas and later studied with in Val Morin, Quebec, was named Swami Swaroopananda. I lovingly called him Swaroop for short. (never to his face of course and I certainly hope that he would never ever read this) once told me something about meditation that has always stuck with me. (I will paraphrase because it was 6 years ago and English was not his native tongue)

He said: Meditation, like sleep, cannot be taught. You simply fall into it and only realize that you've been doing it when it's over.

To which I thought, so what the hell am I doing here with you then if you can't teach me how to meditate. I was not the best student.

I realized later that what he was really saying is that we aren't going to sit down for meditation and suddenly reach enlightenment, the best we can hope for most days is that we can control our monkey mind (yes, we all have one, it isn't just you that wonders if you remembered to lock the car door when you came in, or realized that you went to the shop for milk and came home with a bagful of groceries and forgot the damned milk! True story. Happened this morning!). When we sit for meditation we are aiming for concentration initially. So why do we do it and where do we start?

You remember the lousy job, the ten pounds that won't budge, the annoying husband or wife? None of those things have to change for you to be able to live happily ever after. All that needs changing is your mind. How can you change your mind? It's not as simple as feeling gut wrenching despair and suddenly deciding to think cheery thoughts. Anyone who has ever suffered from depression knows this. But what you can do... is think no thoughts. You can go into neutral and that in and of itself is going to give you some relief.

Getting relief and feeling better are part of what meditation is about. So there's your answer for why do it. You do it so you can feel better. What if you don't feel bad? Why sit for meditation then? So you can connect to something bigger than you, and greater and more powerful than you. So you can tap into that infinite wisdom, love and energy and feel even better or more grounded or more stable. Some of the happiest people I know are bat-shit crazy and they need a grounding force in their life. Meditation can be that force for them. 

So how do you do it?

The beauty of meditation, like the Tracy Anderson Method, is that it requires very little equipment and asks only for your time on a regular basis. There are so many ways to sit for meditation. Too many to list every one within the scope of this single post, but I'll do my best to outline a few simple guidelines.

It's a good idea for you to sit. We are working toward quieting the mind here so if you lay down, chances are that you might accidentally fall asleep. How you sit on the other hand is up to you. There is the very classic Lotus position.

But let's face it. If you've never done this, you are going to be in all kinds of pain and thinking more about that than anything else. So get comfortable. You can pile up cushions on the floor to sit, you can sit in a chair with your feet flat on the ground. Sit in a way that is comfortable and doable and realistic for you. Be comfortable.

Something else that will help is if you create a special space for meditation. Doesn't have to be elaborate. It might be as simple as a candle on the dresser. The idea is that you have a space that is quiet, hopefully with dim lighting, in a location where you will not be disturbed. I am lucky in that both he who shall not be named and I meditate so we have an alter set up that we both use.

Create a peaceful environment. If you have a Catholic family and suddenly you set up a giant Buddha in the living room, this might ruffle some feathers and work against the peaceful vibe you were going for, know what I mean?

Then decide when the best time is going to be. Many teachers suggest first thing in the morning. Very early, almost before the rest of the world wakes up. You won't be disturbed by anyone, the phone is sure not to ring, and your mind is not yet that active. For me? So not a morning person so I spend 20 minutes hitting snooze, fighting the desire to stay in bed, the whole thing works against me and sets me up for failure. I like to do it right before bed.

It allows me to wash the day away and go to sleep thinking good thoughts (hopefully). Make it work for your lifestyle. It might be in the middle of the afternoon while your baby is napping. It doesn't matter when you do it, just that you do it and you do it daily.

The other thing that puts some people off is this idea that they have to sit for 30 minutes when they have ten billion other things that need their time too. 30 minutes might feel like too much for some of you. There is no harm in starting with ten minutes. Ten or fifteen minutes before bed, is that really asking too much? When you start sleeping better and feeling more relaxed and the world starts responding more positively to this happier you, you'll be itching to light the candle and ten minutes may not feel like enough. Adjust accordingly, there are no hard and fast rules here.

To get you started if you have never done this, I'm going to list off two or three of the more popular methods. But I would encourage you to look into it in more detail. Browse a few books, search online, watch a couple of YouTube videos, download an app. The resources at your disposal are endless.

But, if you are just beginning, I'd suggest picking one style and staying with that for a week at least, to give it a chance to work. If you chant a mantra for a minute, then gaze at the candle for a few minutes, then try watching the breath, you are simply allowing the mind to do what it does best, jump around and not stay focused.

The idea behind all of the various methods is to focus your mind. One of the first and easiest ways to do this is my engaging your senses so the mind has something to focus upon. It's pretty hard to concentrate on nothing. Arguably the most dominant sense for many of us is our sight. So lets use it for good.

This method of meditation is called Tratak. It is when you sit for meditation with your eyes open and you stare, often at a lit candle and train your mind to focus on the light. There is a fabulous description and how to here. 

If you find having your eyes open to be more of a distraction than a help, another technique that is often used within Buddhist meditation is to follow the breath. Again, sit comfortably in the space you have created. Close your eyes. Get quiet and start by taking a long slow inhalation through your nose, hold it for a beat, then exhale through the nose. (there are variations on this wherein you might exhale through the mouth, or hold for longer or shorter periods of time but for our purposes here will keep it simple and breath using the nose) Do this two or three times before allowing your breathing to resume to normal and then simply notice or pay attention to the breath moving in and out. When the mind wanders and it will, gently bring it back to the breath, again and again.

If you need a little more to concentrate on than the breath, mantra meditation might be a good one for you. This is the OM we were talking about earlier. You can start out loud. As above, get sitting comfortably in your space, then gently inhale and as you exhale you can release an audible Om and hold it for the length of your exhalation. Repeat getting quieter and quieter until you are om-ing silently within you mind, using the breath as a guide.

And finally, another simple technique that can be useful is to find an external sound in the room and concentrate on that. If it's early morning on a spring day, you might hear little birds outside the window. Concentrate there. If it's a stinking hot summer night, it might be the hum of the air conditioner, dead of winter might provide you with the comforting sounds of a crackling fire, I have an app called relaxing melodies that I listen to with head phones because I live in the heart of busy city neighborhood and have a wannabe rapper living next door. The trick it to find a sound, any sound and let you mind rest upon it.

If you're still not sure, as I mentioned, there are several guided meditations available for download on your phone or computer, or that you call use on Youtube. If you try one and it doesn't work out, try something else. You wouldn't go to a buffet with hundreds of dishes on offer, taste one food and if you didn't like it leave the buffet would you? No, you'd try a few different dishes to find the one you like. Meditation is no different.

Enjoy the process of finding your way. When you finally hit upon it and do it with regularity, it will become something to look forward to and the joy you feel, when you're not looking, may very well start spilling over into other areas of your life.

Good luck, hope this helped.
Om Om,
Shan

Checks and Balances - Maintaining it.

You may have heard this before but it bears repeating: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. 

Recently, I'd been growing a little tired of what felt like saying the same things over and over again. Tracy Anderson is great. The Method works. I love the Method. You have to watch what you eat. You can get there. Fitness is a journey. While all that is true, it can sometimes just sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown, waa waa waa waa waa waa. Or blah blah blah.

I could just feel some of you shouting at the computer. But I still have fifteen more pounds to lose! I still can't fit into my skinny jeans and all I want right now is a fucking cupcake. Tracy Anderson isn't real. Or maybe those are just the voices in my head? Either way, I wanted to shake things up a little bit.

My girl Alma, who has a very special place in my heart as she was one of my very first ever food sponsors, has asked me to write a little something about what I eat, since I have seemed to reach that somewhat elusive place of weight maintenance. So Alma, my love, this post is for you.

I wish it were as simple as me telling you that I eat this for breakfast, that for lunch and dinner consists of the other, then promising you that if you too eat just like me, all your body dreams will come true. Sorry, it doesn't quite work like that.

Let's go back to the definition of insanity. 

If you have had the same ten or twenty or fifty or five pounds to lose for a year or two or ten, but you haven't made any lasting changes to your lifestyle, you are a living example of that definition. Am I calling you crazy? Maybe a little, but I am calling you that because I love you and I want to see you reach your goals. Jumping onto the next fad diet or doing what your BFF or all your co-workers or doing what I am doing isn't going to solve the problem because eventually you are going to go back to your old habits without ever having made any lasting changes. Bitter pill to swallow, I know. I am sorry.

But here it is, honest and up front. You have got to get real about what goes into your mouth because let's face it... we can all exercise. We can pick any activity and do it with consistency and regularity but if we don't pay attention to what is going onto our plates it will end up on our hips and waists no matter how many miles we log on the track each week. It's important and you cannot ignore it.

Trust me I am the living proof. When I started Metamorphosis I followed the diet and I lost 19 pounds, weight I'd been carrying for about 4 or 5 years that I never thought I'd see come off. Much of it I attributed to the Method, but the stone cold truth is that the second I came off that Dynamic Eating plan and ate on my own, I very quickly put half that weight back on. Grrrr. I hated that and if it's ever happened to you, I know you hated it too.

So what did I have to do? And more importantly what can you do? Get honest about what you're eating. Sounds simple but it's not. You have got to keep track for the love of God. You must.

For me, Lose It was my savior and continues to be so. I put my goals into that little app and it told me how many calories I needed to eat in order to get there safely. Once I'd reached my goal (you keep track of what you weigh) it adjusted my calorie intake for me. So now if I go up or down in weight it will adjust accordingly. I have to be diligent and if I stay within a reasonable range of what they tell me, I'm good. That and I gave up sugar. But what I do has way more going on than simply counting calories. I looked at my lifestyle. I started asking questions. Questions you can ask yourself too.

Be honest. Are you snacking a lot? If so what is your Achilles heel? What's the thing that you cannot stop yourself from binging on? Potato chips? Cookies? Mashed potatoes? Melted cheese of everything? Maybe it's time to take a break from that vice and give yourself the much needed break from the obsession. Not an easy thing to do and it always remains up to you. But see the sign above. You might want those cheese doodles now, but you want to look smoking in a bikini in July most. Think about it. Do things differently. That's a start.

As for how I eat personally? It's pretty simple. I have ripped off ideas from Dr. Junger's book Clean, Kimberly Snyder's book The Beauty Detox Solution and Bethenny Frankel's book Naturally Thin. None of those books alone held the solution for me. Because none of them solved every one of my problems.

For example, Bethenny says you can have it all, but not all at once and not the whole thing. For her, she was able to have just half a cookie once or twice a week. Me? I make Cookie Monster look like he's in AA for sugar. I am a binger, whole bagger and then some. There is no such thing as half a cookie. Half a cookie? Who does that? Kimberly says we should eliminate dairy from our diets entirely. Bitch is out of her mind if she thinks I am giving up cheese. I already had to give up cookies, okay? So just forget it Kim. 

But some of you, now there's a different story. Perhaps you can have just one brownie and walk away, but as I said, you melt cheese on your oatmeal in the morning. Maybe dairy is a problem for you and you need to make a clean break. Only you can know the answer.

Here are the main guidelines that have carried me comfortably and safely to a number on the scale that I can live with (most of the time). (That and I do some form of exercise every day)

1) Junger says you must allow 12 hours without eating anything, at least once a day, for optimal digestion. Whaaaat? It is possible and for me, so worth it.
There are some specifics that I cannot quite recall, but it's something like... it takes 4 hours for your body's digestion to kick in and another 4 to 8 hours to fully get in there and do its job. Clear out waste, extract nutrients, etc etc. So if I have dinner at 7pm, I automatically know that nothing is going into my mouth before 7am. Nothing, Period. That's how I get my 12 hour cleaning and digesting crew to work best.

2) Snyder says don't cause a traffic jam. If you have cheese on toast first thing in the morning, it is going to just sit there while you pile more and more food on top throughout the rest of the day. Some stuff will digest faster thereby causing noxious gasses to be produced, bloating, farting, everything gets backed up, no nutrition is being absorbed it's a mess. So eat light to heavy. This works for me. I am never terribly hungry in the morning so I stick with her Glowing Green Smoothie or some other smoothie, or I'll have some fruit with yogurt. On occasion if I know lunch will be ages away, I'll even sprinkle some homemade granola on there.
Kim says never combine fruit with any other food. What can I say, I'm a rebel.
I just try to remember the sports car needs to be first on the freeway, followed by the SUV, then the big 18-wheeler. Easiest to digest gets eaten earlier in the day followed by heavier then heaviest. Make sense?
Lunch will usually be a salad with some fat like half an avocado or protein, like a boiled egg or a bit of cottage cheese.
My dinners are as wild and free as I want to make them while trying to stay within my calorie budget for the day.... which leads me to...

3) Frankel says you should have a food budget like you have a money budget but that you do not have to balance it perfectly every day. You may choose to balance it over a few days or the week. Here's how I play that game. 
Let's say it's he who shall not be named's turn to make dinner. I know he is going to want to order pizza. No problem. I'll eat super light throughout the day to make room for a heavy carb dinner, and I won't worry because I am going to give myself 12 whole hours to let all that gluey bread and cheese to work its way through my system before I bombard it with anything else.
But what happens if I've had an off day? Say I've had granola for breakfast and maybe I had PMS so I had noodles for lunch and HWSNBN comes in with said pizza, then what? Do I freak out and say I am not eating that? Um, have you ever smelled warm pizza, who can say no?! If you can you are a better woman than me. I will eat that pizza, I will savor every bite, I will enjoy it fully knowing that tomorrow I am going to be having a smoothie for breakfast, a salad at lunch and some steamed veggies with quinoa for dinner. 
See what I've done there? I balanced the food budget over two days instead of one.

These are three simple rules that I have been able to easily accommodate into my everyday life that have become a lifestyle rather than a phase or a "diet". Yuck, who wants to be on a diet.

And when I am feeling sad about not having chocolate covered almonds or M&M's stacked high in my popcorn at the movies, I look at the sign above and consider what I want most... a life free of worry and obsession over having to buy fat pants...again.

I hope that at least some of that was helpful to you. I say you need to consume as much information about diets, health and nutrition, until you feel satisfied that you're armed with tools that will help keep you on track without creating a prison of shoulds and should nots.

Finally, one other thing I tend to do -- and if you're naturally obsessive about this I'd suggest you NOT do it -- I weigh in once a week. I try to do it on the same day each week at the same time -- first thing in the morning. I do this not to fuss over it. I do it because I find if I haven't been keeping great track of calories or what I've been eating and two or three pounds creep on, those two or three pounds are easier to get off and are less likely to awaken my hateful meanie, than five or ten pounds. A pound or two is no biggie. I put that new number into my tracker and it will automatically tell my how much to cut back and generally within a week or two I am right back on track. That is what maintenance is for me. A continual check and balance.

Have fun creating your own plan and once you've got it, I want to hear about it. I feel like we can all benefit from having a few new tools in our maintenance tool box to fall back on when things go squirrelly.

All my best,
Shan

She's Baaaaack... Tracy Anderson Cardio Review

New Cardio!!!

So it's year two, months ten to twelve. In TAM world speak that means that Tracy Anderson has rejoined the troops to lead dance cardio once again in the home stretch of year two, Continuity 2.4.3. It's where I'd be if I'd been absolutely religious with the program. As it stands, I am still hanging around 2.3.2 but a girl can jump ahead for new dance routines can't she?

Last week I put out a white flag of sorts letting you know that I feel the tides turning and that the content of this space was going to start changing or was in danger of drying up. You have responded so warmly that I feel confident moving forward in my new 2013 skin as a girl who values herself and I hope I can inspire the same in you. 

In the mean time I had promised a review of that new cardio so here it is! It's good, people. I mean it. I hate dance cardio, don't like to sweat. My hair is a pain, it always comes out of its bun as I jump around. I have never liked the idea of shoes in the house. I have no coordination and on it goes.

I did find a couple of ways around my cardio aversion. I use my rebounder because  that's mostly fun. (Can hardly wait for my new Tracy Anderson Rebounder Total Body DVD to get here!!) And I run with my husbie and our dog. But... every now and then, I get a feeling like I should be sticking closer to the program so I'll drag my sorry ass back to one of the many DC DVD's that Tracy has furnished us with and I'll struggle through 15 or 20 minutes of it whining all the way.

But get this... I have done this latest video a couple of times now and have done it right through to the end! Can you even believe it? It actually kind of flies by. Don't get me wrong, I still watch the clock, but I don't hate it. That is saying a lot! 

It's fantastic to have our little Dance Sprite back. She is so springy and she just looks so happy to be back with us. That carries a lot of weight with me. I just can't workout with a sour-puss.

So what's it like? It's not like any other dance routine she's put together while at the same time being totally Tracy with all the best bits from her other DVD's.

When Stacey and Maria debuted with new Continuity dance cardio, it was a little bit exciting because it was new. I love them, so please don't take this the wrong way... the novelty wore off very quickly. I only did each one a couple of times before quickly abandoning them. The first one had an actual dance routine in it but only did one side, so my whole body just felt off balance. The next one was better but still it felt like it was the same routine (that I could not ever seem to get) over and over. I wish I could more accurately put a finger on it, all I can say is that while they're good DVD's I just don't like dance cardio enough to stay with something that's just okay.

Tracy has a philosophy when it comes to dance aerobics, in order to get the most benefit, you mustn't stop and start. So she doesn't give you step by step instructions to each routine. She wants you to dance continuously for 30 minutes. Makes sense. Nothing is more annoying than doing a DVD that breaks down the steps one at a time, then having to watch through that once you've learned it. On the other hand it can be pretty frustrating to hop along and never really get the routine too.

This DVD is not like that!

Here's the thing. Yes it has choreography, you have to learn three or maybe four little routines, but they are from her actual dance DVD's, so they feel familiar. If you don't own those or have never seen them, don't fret. The routines are repeated enough that you stand a good chance of getting them, but they are switched up enough that if you don't get one, you can move on and chances are you'll grab ahold of the others. But in between all of that there is some freestyle stuff (easy moves that a three-year-old or me can get) so you are never lost for too long if you do get lost.

If you didn't know, Tracy has three dance DVD's that came out long before Metamorphosis and she has a section on two of the DVD's that you can go to to learn the routines step by step, then you can choose dance options to follow her from behind or in front and she dances straight through. They're brilliant if you take the time to learn the routines. Some are just way beyond me, but I have picked up a handful, one or two of which make an appearance in this new DVD. Plus I even recognized a couple of moves from her original Meta Dance Cardio so I felt almost like a pro -- okay not a pro exactly. Let me put it another way. I felt less like an epileptic bee, flitting this way and that in awkward jerking and jumping motions.

The background is a total 80's throwback. It's the light-bright set that she uses for Teen Meta.

 
With bold streaks of primary color emanating from it. Apparently the 80's are well back in fashion. Have any of you seen the recent window display at American Eagle? I thought I was having a Wham acid flash back when I saw the ripped acid-wash jeans and neon colors! Eeeek. But I digress.

This was a dance cardio DVD worth waiting for. Tracy is in fine form. In fact she seems better than ever!

I guess I hadn't realized how much I missed her. I've got another six months with Stacey and Maria on the mat, but I don't mind. I think they are fantastic teachers and have been enjoying our workouts together.

Later this week I hope to touch on a couple of the topics suggested in your comments. In the mean time, chin up. Do the work, enjoy the process, and the results are yours.

xo
Shan

 

 

 

Out On A Limb.

Hey you guys, happy Saturday! Hope you're all having a great weekend. I can hardly believe that it's the 19th already! Wow. 

Today is somewhat significant for me because it marks another 90 days under my belt of living sugar free. When I first made the choice to go without sugar, I choose 90 days because that was the longest I had ever managed to go without sweets in my life and it was 8 long years ago. 

Once I hit the 90-day mark in October, I wasn't ready to face the fact that this might be a "rest of my life" type of scenario so some of you gently suggested that perhaps I try for another 90 days. Done! Thanks for that.

With 180 days without sweets under my belt, I feel like I want to stop counting. I have been tempted several times over this past 90 days to just try a little chocolate or have a bite of a cookie. Lordissa how I wanted a cookie over Christmas, but I resisted. I have stretched the rules a little and have had tea with sugar. It didn't send me on a bender and interestingly I add much less per cup than I ever have before. So I am okay with that. I feel okay having hot beverages, like my Starbucks Mocha or a cup of tea with a bit of sugar. It doesn't open the flood gates. I may just be off the sweets for good now.

There isn't really more to say on the subject than that. I have a strong attraction to sweet treats but my chosen lifestyle is to go without them. That's it. It's been hard and it's sometimes still tough, but I know how I want to live and how I want to feel and I feel best when I am not obsessing over the dessert menu.

Now... I am really going to climb out on the skinny branches here and be perfectly honest. A while back I started a series of posts called the Maintenance Series wherein we discussed various tips and tricks we could use to maintain our desired weight once we achieved it. Many of us were disappointed and maybe even a little surprised that there wasn't more written on this subject. We are bombarded weekly with the latest diet fads or new workout crazes, there is never a shortage of the "lose the weight fast" gurus popping up all over the place, but there are not very many people telling us how to keep the weight off once we lose it.

First I think it's because so many of these programs that crop up don't give lasting results because they don't teach us how to change our lifestyles. So once off the program the results are almost impossible to retain. But I think the real reason we don't see more on maintenance is because it isn't sexy or splashy or newsy and because it is so individual. And at its very heart it's rather simple. There is no magic formula. You have to change your habits and you have to do the work. It isn't necessarily what we want to hear once we've worked so tirelessly to lose the weight. We might want to skate or coast for a bit, but if we want to keep our results, we can't. Period.

I haven't found much new to say about it myself. I can tell you over and over again what worked for me and how I am doing it daily. But you already know how I did it. It's nothing new. So that sort of explains why there haven't been many updates in the Maintenance Series. But you may have also noticed that there hasn't been too terribly much of anything here lately.

And that's because I feel almost like I've said all I can say about the Tracy Anderson Method, my midlife weight gain, and the struggle to accept myself as I am growing older.

My new years resolution this year is to love myself. To do that, I can't keep bitching about everything that's wrong with me or how getting old sucks or how it's so much work to keep the spare tire at bay. I have to keep my focus trained on all that's good with me. But writing about that just feels... wrong. I can't really explain it.

I have always tried to make the effort to see the glass half-full, to consistently remind us that we're climbing a mountain here, that we're running a marathon, in other words we are not in this health game for the short term. It's a lifestyle. You know that, I've been drilling it into you since I started this little blog.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I think you might all freak out a little bit if I suddenly go all Pollyanna on your ass, you feel me? I'm not all - yay I am so happy with my body and my life and everything is so perfect now -- not at all by any stretch of the imagination -- but what I am is grateful. But I am not sure I am into writing a gratitude journal for public consumption. Do you see what I mean about out on a limb?

What I am trying to say is that I don't quite know what to write about here at the moment. So let me put it another way.

Is there something you want to talk about? Is there a subject that you feel you want to create some discourse on? Do you have questions about the Method? About hitting 40? About the truth or lies of the middle age spread? About your value as a woman in the world? About faith, hope, aspirations? I love this community. You've all grown to be such a valued part of my life, so many of you I consider my friends though we've never met and half of you I have never even laid eyes on. 

I think you're incredible. Each of you beautiful in your own unique ways with your own brilliant insights and perspectives on the things being said here. You matter to me, each and every single one of you, even those of you who never comment. I am always in your corner!

I want to continue to share with you and to grow with you. But I am shifting my awareness and some of the things that mattered so deeply to me - like having abs -- are no longer my primary focus. I have them. Or at least as good as I am going to get without doing hours of cardio every week and eating nothing but kale. I love cheese and bread and coffee and I appreciate great food and wine. I gave up sugar. I can live without it. Nothing more needs to be said there unless you have questions.

So what do you want to know? What do you want to discuss? What would help you be less of a hateful meanie to yourself and love yourself more? If I can help I want to.

In the meantime, my wonderful friend Stephanie send me this picture today and I just had to share it with you. She came across it while walking her dog near her home in Toronto. 

 
It expresses exactly where I want to take our relationship next. And by our relationship -- I mean mine and yours noble reader. What can I give you? What do you need from me? How can I help? How can we help each other to love and appreciate ourselves and each other more? Without going all Pollyanna on ourselves.

Change is afoot my lovelies and I'd like it if we could change and grow together. Let's make 2013 the best year we've ever had... ever!

Love,
Shan

PS 
I am always happy to talk shoes and Oscar films and all things Tracy Anderson! Always.

What Do You Want?

Hey can you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up? How many of you became that? If you did... that is so cool and I am totally jealous. 

Did that dream or goal or thing change for you over the years? If it did, did you wind up becoming the new thing that you wanted to be?

I think everything is possible. I am a writer so by my very nature I dream and have a very rich inner life. I want to believe that nothing is beyond our reach, that nothing is impossible.

Ancient Greek Philosopher Epictetus wrote:
"First say to yourself what you would be; then do what you have to do."

If we're talking fitness here people, I'd suggest we all get on our mats!
xo
Shan

Continuity 2.3.1 Review

It's that time once again, another level has been tackled and I've come to share my thoughts about it with you.

For those of you who are just beginning Metamorphosis, this may feel like a life-time away but you'll be here before you know it. For others of you who have graduated from the Metamorphosis program and are into Continuity and like my lovely and totally hilarious Tammy put it "are feeling like it's taken a dive", don't panic, everything from 2.1 and on is pretty much golden. And finally, those of you that are right up here with me, this is a level that you can very much look forward to.

If you've read any of the previous reviews you know that I think the entire 2.2 series was very impressive. I loved nearly every sequence the ladies put together for us and it seems we're going to be joyously in for more of the same. Continuity 2.3 level 1 does not disappoint. It's a Love Day people. I've done the workout a handful of times now and I am loving it. Absolutely loving it.

Fitting T-shirt as well!

It's lead by the stunning and strong Stacey McDermott and it feels a little old school, very classic Tracy Anderson and let me tell you, you are working but it feels so good. The warm up is focused and steady and the arms incorporate the abs beautifully so there isn't a separate standing abs section. But that's okay. The first time I did this workout, I hadn't worked out in nearly two weeks because of being sick, so not sure if it was the time off or the actual workout or both, but man could I feel it in my arms and shoulders the next day.

The floor abs are terrific. Again, a very classic and simple and hard-working series that targets the obliques as well but isn't so fast or complicated that you wind up more frustrated than worked out.

If you've been doing the Method for any length of time you are not going to believe me when I tell you that the legs are my favorite part of the sequence. That almost never happens. But it's true!! The legs are familiar. These are moves we've seen before with slight tweaks to them so you really feel them working but there is a real understanding of your positioning. What's different about this segment is that during three of the six legs moves, you don't really have a resting leg as both legs are working. So it's even more of a challenge over all. Don't get me wrong, there are one or two moves thrown in there that have so many moving parts that you're like WTF?! the first time through, but once you work it out, they aren't so fussy that they're irritating. Even these more complicated moves have familiar working parts so once you break it down and understand it, it becomes simple. Never easy, but simple.

Stacey has a slight wardrobe malfunction near the start of the workout, but she handles it like a pro, with absolute grace and she never misses a beat. Then when we jump into floor abs, it's all good again. Just a little humor added into the workout increases it's charm all the more.

I can't wait to see what Maria has in store for us next.

Plus, oooooooh this is pretty great. I have jumped ahead a little bit and in 2.4, the cardio series features Tracy again after she's had Penelope and she looks so fantastic. It's great to have her back! I hate cardio but am starting to do it once again for a little Tracy injection. So far I don't hate it and that's saying a lot! Review to follow. And we're going to be jumping through hoops soon too (not literally but almost). More on that later too.

Hope this gave you something to look forward to. 

Hang in there and remember... it's only a matter of time before a resolution becomes a habit and a habit becomes a lifestyle.

Love,
Shan

Trust The Method.

I cannot say this enough. Tracy is a trainer that you can trust. Her Method delivers. Some days it will drive you crazy. It will. But you need to remind yourself that there is a Method to her madness. Every pun intended.

With that said, you can now relax knowing that one of your New Year's resolutions is being looked after. You no longer need to think about it. You do the practice daily and your dreams of a better body are all but yours. I promise. But three things have got to happen. You have to make the effort to generate the fairy dust. (for those of you who don't know, it's Tracy's way of saying sweat), you have to eat healthy, period! And you have got to learn to love yourself.

I mean it.

Tracy talks about perfection. Forget that. There is no perfect. She also talks about changing your genetics. I have to add a little asterisk to that statement. She is going to reshape you. There's no doubt about it. But she can't make you taller, you hear what I'm saying!? I am no longer bulging over the top of my jeans in a big old muffin top, but I certainly will never have a pencil-thin waist either. I am abcentric forever and for always. 

But with a daily dose of mat work, it's under control.

She makes a promise to us -- that after two years, we start to own our transformation. You might be thinking whaaaaaat?! Two years! I thought it was just three months. This ain't a quick fix people, it's a lifestyle. Tell you what tho, this was my first Christmas ever that I didn't gain an ounce. My arms are still toned, my butt is still lifted (and that's saying a lot for a 41 year old ass I don't mind telling you) and my tummy is flat(ish). If you do this over and over and over, day after day, week after week, it's going to stick and the results do to.

So lets get to the most important and ONLY New Year's Resolution that you should be concerning yourself with this year shall we?

One of my BFF's, a woman who is perfection personified, the stunning and generous and warm hearted Stephanie, my real life hero, sent me a link today to a wonderful post. She sent it because I am practicing the virtue of Celebration this month and because she knows that I am working on my very own feeling of self-worth and I just had to pay it forward.

The post asked... What if the only resolution you make is to love yourself?

Think about it.
If you loved yourself more you’d probably…
Be kinder to yourself and others.
Spend your time and energy in ways that make you feel good.
Say no to things you really don’t want to do.
Say yes to the little voice inside that begs you to listen.
Give from your heart instead of from guilt and obligation.
Attract great experiences and opportunities into your life.
Take good care of your finances and your health.
Surround yourself with people who respect and adore you.
Now, isn’t it so much easier to focus the New Year on the one thing that will make the biggest difference in your life?

I love that. Here's a link to the post in case you want a life make-over (it looks fabulous btw)

I asked you to trust the Method. I say that Tracy is a trainer that you can trust. If you don't want to take it from her, take it from me. I am in no way affiliated with the Tracy Anderson Method, other than being a devoted practitioner of said Method. I have been doing this for over two years now. Yes, I gained back half the weight I lost once I'd moved on to Continuity, but guess what? I lost it again and have kept it off since September. I am stronger and leaner than I have ever been and I am really learning to love myself and appreciate my strengths and my uniqueness in the world.

I'm saying this so that you can relax a little bit. Do the work you need to do, make the effort in the areas that need your attention (diet or being more active or carving time into your schedule for both), and then relax and start appreciating that you are fantastic. You're wonderful. You're totally awesome and you are more beautiful than you know.

I'm saying this year....

And finally, for my lovely girl Tricia...

Love ya.
Shan

Forget Perfect!

Hey guys.

Because it's January and we're all fired up about our New Year's Resolutions I want to jump in and ask you to perhaps approach this year a little differently. I am going to of course talk about fitness and weight loss but this applies to changing your eating habits, saving money, spending more time with the fam, sitting for meditation, being more social or whatever other resolution you may have chosen to pursue in 2013.

Personally, I am dying to get back on the mat, but until I am able to breathe for more than five minutes without coughing I am on the sidelines and forced to just write about it. Boo! I want to work out too! Anyway...

I know many of you are Tracy Anderson Lifers like me, but there may be a few of you who had fallen off the wagon last year and are determined to get back to it this red hot minute, or you may be brand new to Metamorphosis and are anxiously waiting for your package to arrive in the mail, where ever you sit in the program, a little reminder to forget perfection is never a bad thing.

I know undertaking a program like this can be as exciting as it is daunting. A new diet, a new routine. We get all gung-ho right off the bat and then find a week or two later that we don't want to have to cook special meals for ourselves while our family gets pizza, we don't want to squirrel away in the basement doing our stupid old cardio when everyone else is watching television. The scale hasn't budged. Our body hurts. Or we missed two days this week so what's the point? Or we fell off the wagon and ate those damned cheese doodles. 

I am here to tell you that I've been there. This blog is a testament to the trials, to the frustrations and the guilt that goes along with trying to change your life. But it is also proof that if you hang in there, if you tailor that resolution to fit into your lifestyle rather than turning your whole life upside down to accommodate the new program, you will find success. If you really want to change... guess what? You can!

Listen to me people. I will never have legs like Gisele Bundchen, I will never have Jennifer Lopez's butt, but I am never gonna have blond hair and blue eyes either. You have to accept the clay you're working with and do your best to mold it -- not into some false ideal that you've picked up in an air-brushed magazine -- but into the best you that you can be and believe me -- you are pretty damned terrific already! You are!

So let's forget perfect and get practical.

If you are embarking on this program of Metamorphosis for the first time or you are taking a second crack at it, really take stock of what it's asking from you and be honest with what you can put into it. I know it's a cliche to say that you get out what you put in, but with Tracy's Method that really is true. 

Looking back, knowing what I know now, I want to share a few things with you. For those of you who have been here all along and have had the results and kept them, please feel free to chime in here and comment on tips and tricks you discovered to keep you going.

If you have weight to lose, think about how you got to where you are. Be really honest about what you've been eating. Where have you been eating? It took me a really long time to finally accept that my diet was a huge huge part of this. I am a vegetarian and I cook for myself. I had to be eating healthy right? Yeah, sure... mostly. But my portions were huge and I was also consuming copious amounts of sugar by way of desserts. Keeping a food journal is a pain in the ass but it will save you from having a huge ass in the long run. Get an app, grab a notebook, buy a food journal - whatever -- if you bite it write it. You will be shocked by the number of calories and fat that you are unwittingly and unknowingly consuming. Start there.

Tracy's diet is hard. For a vegetarian, darn near impossible. I had to make adjustments to it. But I could not get the weight off without making adjustments to my own diet - so between her program and my own needs I came up with something I could live with. If you've got a family to cook for and you're working, you don't have time to be making separate meals. How can you adapt that diet to suit everyone? 

It will serve you well, rather than rushing in head first without a thought, to come up with a realistic plan for food using Tracy's diet as a guide and incorporating your own tastes and talents in the kitchen into it.

As for the workout. You have got to make the time for it. No way around it. But there's nothing that says you can't split it up. Do cardio in the morning and mat work after dinner - or whatever works for you. Make it a habit. It has to be a habit that you do everyday. Would you dream of the day when you can stop brushing your teeth? Not likely. So if you want to change your body you have to accept the fact that you have got to use it. If you don't like the Method's moves, you won't find success. In that case, look for something that you do like.

It's no secret that I am not a dance cardio fan, so I run. I love being out in nature with my two best guys, feeling the wind (and often the damned rain - Pacific Northwest weather, argh) in my hair. If you love yoga, do that. If you feel happiest riding your bike or swimming or playing tennis, do that! No one program is going to work for everyone.

My girl Janice gave six dedicated months to the Method and it didn't make her heart sing, so she switched to lifting weights. No one says you have to do one thing or the other. But I will say this. If you want a dancer's body... do what the dancer does.

And finally, no one knows you better than you know yourself. You have got to know when to push a little harder and when to pull back. If you're just starting a new program like Tracy's and you can only do five minutes of cardio, only do five minutes, don't be a hateful meanie to yourself and beat yourself up because you can't do 30 minutes... but don't only do five minutes if you think you can do six or ten or twenty. 

Okay, lecture done. Get away from this computer and strap into your sneakers and get busy! That workout isn't going to do itself!

xo
Shan

Suspend Disbelief...

I know you have goals, you have resolutions, all unique as you are and you have the power within you to make them happen. But what if...

What if you could have a little extra help?

Tonight before you go to bed...

And tomorrow... wake up with the thought that something wonderful is about to happen.

You know what you have to do to make that resolution stick, to make that dream a reality. You'll do the work. But it can't hurt to also allow a little room for magic.

xo
Shan

2013 - Whatcha Gonna Do?

Happy New Year Beauties! 

One of my bestest and longest standing friends and I have a New Year tradition. Before the end of each year, we choose twelve virtues for the new year, one for each month and then look for ways to practice that particular virtue for that month. 

So our virtue for January on this brand spanking new year is Celebration. She texted me this morning to ask... What are you celebrating. My reply in short?

Not being dead!

Guys, I'm sick. I am practically never sick. I don't know how to cope! The Cliff Notes version is that I'd been burning the candle at both ends, then boarded a train for three days and was sat directly behind a sick screaming germ spewing little toddler. I did feel sorry for the poor thing... until she got me sick!

I had no voice for the whole of Christmas with my family, then boarded the train back home and spent three days in a train car FULL of coughing, wheezing, sneezing, sniffling, sick people. I kid you not. Last night I was coughing so hard I was convinced that I had SARS! Or at least H1N1, do you cough with that? By 3AM when all the fireworks had finally died down and the reveling in the streets quieted, I started to think geez, maybe it's a tumor!!!

Okay, alright, I know it's not a tumor or Swine Flu or the Zombie of the Apocalypse Virus, it's probably just a bad cold. But I'm a big baby when it comes to being sick, a big baby or a man. Neither are very brave in the face of a sniffle.

But in spite of feeling as though I am posting from my death bed, I just had to post because I absolutely love New Years Day! The Eve part of all of it I could take or leave, but the first day of a shiny new year is always exciting for me. It's ripe with potential, it's a clean slate, it's a do-over where you get to make right all the wrongs of the past year. You have the chance to make resolutions and vow to be better than you've ever been before. Who gives a crap if it all wears off by the weekend? We have today! Carpe Diem!

So whatcha gonna do with your brand new year? Got any resolutions? Are you pulling out the standard fare from last year? Or have you dug up some new ones? How many of you managed to follow through with your 21-Day challenge that we put out there on the 10th of December? Don't feel bad if you didn't. This post isn't here to make you feel guilty, it's here to remind you that you get a do-over! Starting today! Isn't that spectacular?

Dying and all that aside, I was able to do my meditation last night, day 21 of the 21-Day Meditation Challenge and I found it to be quite inspiring so I thought I'd kind of sum up what was said briefly.

Davidji, the moderator suggested that we make a few commitments. Three to be exact.

The first being to identify with that part of ourselves that is beyond our physical bodies, beyond the face we see in the mirror each day. It's like a reminder that we're something more than just an ordinary old human being, there's a divine spark in each of us.

The second is to try and connect to our unique talant in this world, to discover our life's purpose. That's a biggie. I'm 41 and still not entirely sure what I'm here for. But I'm not dead yet, so I'm celebrating! It's a virtue, did you know?

And finally, he asked us to look for ways in which we can use our unique gifts and talents to serve the needs of all around us, people, animals, the environment, the world.

This time last year I needed desperately to find balance. To create lifestyle changes that served me and allowed me to live a healthy life. I was just discovering juicing. I later was turned onto Kimberly Snyder's book The Beauty Detox Solution and since then I have been able to carve out a path all my own that allows me to feel comfortable in my own skin. 

This year, in 2013 I want to really look at nurturing my spirit. 

I mentioned in an earlier post that I came to the astounding realization that I didn't feel worthy. That I felt my work had no meaning and was therefore not worth much and I had been suffering the effects of those long-buried beliefs.  Those thoughts are losing power as I bring them into the light.  

I resolve this year to sit for daily meditation, to tune into the divine and to exorcise all of those "not good enough" demons from my life once and for all! I think those mean little bitches were at the root of me never being able to appreciate my own individuality, my unique beauty and my distinct voice as a writer.

I hope that in some small way, I can inspire you from my sick bed, to sit up and take notice of how truly great you are and act upon that this year. To be fearless in situations that might scare the shit out of you, to speak up where you may have been silent before, or to do something that perhaps you never thought you could possibly do. You can do it!

I love you. You are already beautiful. You are already talented. You are already more worthy that you can ever know. You are divine. I see the divinity in you and today, on this first day of January, 2013, I want to celebrate that with you!

Happy New Year! It's going to be our best one yet!
xo
Shan